part 322:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

back to faaizas point of view

Shukr ismails been relatively good to me for the past year or so… He’s still abit stingy when it comes to providing for us but shukr to Allah that dada is there to see to the household needs..

Dada, may Allah give him a long, beneficial life, for his age, really works hard to make sure that we always live comfortably..

He worries about getting the milk and bread daily in the house… Makes sure that there’s sufficient meat and all kinds of spices and ingredients, toiletries and necessities for the house, us and the kids…

I can deal with ismails stinginess.. Its better than all the other bad habits he used to have before…

Ismail came home from work a little later one friday evening..

“salaams Babes!” He greeted as he got into the house…
“Sorry I’m late… I just met feroze…. You know? One of the guys I used to play pool with some nights?”

“Oh!” That’s all I could say… I didn’t like those guys, I’d never met them, but they used to be the cause of ismails moods on weekends… It was either someone there used to be a bad influence on him or they used to hang out till 12 at night and he used to be too tired and groggy the next day… Whatever it was.. It affected our relationship and I hated it…

“Yeah! So that’s why I’m abit late… We were catching up and he was asking when I’m joining them again…” He hesitated for a while.. “You think I should go? He was practically begging me to come again”

Now here’s the thing with ismail… He doesn’t like to be controlled or told what to do… But then he asks you things like this and what does he expect as an answer?

Like obviously I don’t want him to go… But if I say no… He’ll flip and throw tantrums and use that famous line on me..
“You don’t let me do anything! You just like to control me..”

And then if I say yes… He’ll go, but I won’t be happy and he’ll come back with his moodiness again…

So yet again I was left in a situation of what answer to actually give….

I thought of ignoring his question… But he persisted..
“Huh? What you say? Should I go? They really want me to come back….!”

Why does it always have to be what everybody else wants? What about what we want..?what His family wants?

I sighed: “whatever you want to do….”

I decided that that was a safer option… For peace sake!

“But you won’t get naar…. Huh? Like you won’t start fighting with me and all that?”

Oh! So now its me fighting with him? I huffed! This man was seriously something else…
“Why do you always make me seem like such a witch hey? Go if you want to go.. Honestly.. Its your life… Do as you please…”

He used that line again.. The famous one… You know the one to make you feel guilty and think.. Hey ya.. He’s right…
“How? Its not like I’m going for drag racing or clubbing and things like that? We’re only guys that hang out and play pool and sometimes a couple of games of fifa or Call of duty!”

Luckily humaira saved me… She began nagging to be fed…. Saved by the bell.. I mean.. Saved by humaira!

And so I sat that evening, when ismail went to his ‘so called’ friends,in peace.. The kids were in bed early and so was humaira.. She had a slight fever, so I’d medicated her and put her early to bed too…

I had borrowed an interesting book from salma and hadn’t had much time to read so I decided to lay in bed and read..

Ismail was home earlier than midnight for a change…

I put the book aside and gave him all my attention…

“I came home early….” He said almost like he did me a big favour..

“Hmm… I see so.” I replied

“Ya… I was tired.. Eish…today was a hectic day at work.. I just want to get into bed…” He stifled a yawn …

He got into bed and put his earphones on listening to a lecture.. But before the lecture could even start, he was snoring away..

I pulled my book off the side pedestal and continued reading.. I was so engrossed in the book that I couldn’t put it down and when I checked the time I was shocked. It was already 2am… I reluctantly put my marker in the book and placed it down more because I was afraid that if ismail wakes up, he’ll swear me for still being awake…

I know I’m not supposed to be afraid.. But that’s just how I’ve become… Unlike him, I watch what I do and don’t want to do anything that’s going to suddenly tick him off..

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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2 thoughts on “part 322:

  1. zana says:

    Faaiza u not the only one that feels that way. Men somehow do that to you and put you in the spot. And we land up saying do what ever you want lol

  2. A says:

    I agree that all men put you in a spot and if you disagree they make you feel as if you are standing in their way and make you feel guilty

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