part 302:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Salma sped into the driveway after I opened the gate for her and braked wildly like she was in some kind of hurry…

It was only 2:45 and taaleem starts at 3… It will take us nothing more than 4 minutes from my house to the house where the taaleem was being held this week…

Salma was just being herself as usual.. A typical stress pot and she thought that I’ll make her late since I had humaira to see too aswel…

I kept on watching ismails reaction, from the day I’d asked him if I could attend taaleem with salma, thinking that with any wrong move I make, he’ll suddenly change his mind…

The day I asked him, the straight and calm expression on his face changed to one of a mixture of utter annoyance and dislike…

Gremlin in law always hated the local taaleem and anyone or anything related to it and she brought all 3 of her children to detest it aswel…

“For what?” Ismail had asked me… “They are just a bunch of bored auntie’s who have nothing better to do with their lives but gossip about anyone and everyone in town….”

“That’s not true babes…. Maybe some people like to gossip but you can’t paint everyone with the same brush…. How would you like it if everyone labelled you as corrupt just because you were brought up with those corrupt people… Is that fair?”

I know that had the desired effect on him… Because his face changed again…

I was clearly upset.. I just got really angry when people are so fast to judge people of deen…

Some of those ladies sacrifice so much of their time and effort to host the taaleem programs… And the gathering in itself its such a great one where Allahs name is being mentioned and praised for 1 full hour…

Its a gathering where Allahs mercy descends and a gathering where the angels surround and protect the ones coming out to listen to talks of deen..

Those very people are chosen by Allah to attend those gatherings.. Because there are so many people in the town who are at home, doing nothing but Allah hasn’t chosen them to attend… And I’ve been one of those for the past couple of years since I’d gotten married… I wanted Allah to accept me and I wanted to go for my own benefit.. So that I could change and be forgiven by Allah for all my wrongs in life..

Yes people give it a bad name sometimes by making it a major party and sitting around gossiping and carrying tales for another hour after taaleem… But that’s not what the taaleem actually is about… Its us who have changed everything…

Somehow ismail softened up and allowed me to go… After endless of cross questioning… And passing comments… Sometimes ismail thinks his my father and treats me like I’m still a kid… HIS kid… He doesn’t realise that I’m an adult… A mother to 3 of his kids and I’m old enough and mature enough to know right from wrong..

But I wasn’t allowed to go every week though… For me that was better than nothing… And I wasn’t allowed to go extra early and nor stay till late after the program… I had to leave immediately after the dua was recited which actually suited me quite fine….

The only problem was that I wasn’t the driver.. Salma was… And if she wasn’t my best friend/sister and we weren’t so close, I wouldn’t be able to dictate to her how and when to take and bring me…

“your husband needs to take a chill pill you know that?” Salma said when we were on our way…

I sighed: “I know…. But he’s changed and loosened up quite abit.. I just have to take things easy otherwise he might just change back into his old self again…”

Salma: “inshallah that won’t happen.. But fay you can’t always be tip-toeing around him worried about what’s going to upset him and what’s not… That’s not how a marriage is supposed to be…”

I just remained silent… Salma didn’t understand…. Even though she was right.. But all our hubbies are not the same.. She has aqeel… A very understanding, Allah fearing person…. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have understanding husbands…

Some of us are tested with husbands like this but if we work hard enough and win them over… Our jannat will be made… Because its a sacrifice on our part..

We can’t change who they are.. But we can change the way we react to them and their ways and that in itself can make a world of a difference…


Authors note:
Assalaamu alaykum everyone…. Hope you all have a lovely aashurah with your families and please don’t forget to make special dua for me and my family during these favourite days of Allah…

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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12 thoughts on “part 302:

  1. zana says:

    Lovely post
    when we go for taalim we are getting direct invitation by allah to sit in these gatherings.

    Faaiza when are you getting ur driver’s licence. I think its about time you do get it.

  2. .... says:

    I loved how the importance of talim was explained! It has helped me changed even though they are mostly aunties older than I. Salma is totally right about the tip toe part, if you act like an afraid mouse, you Will be treated like one. She needs to be assertive without compromising her respect or being rude. Until she changes her bichari style ways, she will grow old and afraid under that man’s shadow and will end up with a shrivelled kidney (due to fear (: come on fay! Stop making me want to slap you!

  3. .... says:

    There is NO sawaab for ‘making sabr’ when you’re getting beaten black and blue. Please dont be silent,tell your families.

  4. sister/in/Islam says:

    I agree with sister ‘ …. ‘ !!
    A marriage is two way !! And its give and take … And supposed to b full of understanding – but coming from Fay’s situation , she can’t just b too assertive cos she fears the consequences … Evn tho’ he may hav changed a lot – ppl can just ‘trigger’

    Hope she can hav that kind of relationship that salma and aqeel have – soooon إنشاءالله

    جزاك اللهُ خيراً

  5. A says:

    It is so sad that some wives are on tenterhooks where their husbands are concerned bcoz u don’t know what can trigger their moods and they get blamed for everything
    Sometimes Taaleem does bcom a place of gossip n a social n then it puts the name of deen in a bad light.
    May ALLAAH keep all works of good to flourish with the right intentions and reasoning

  6. Agree with you sister I too really enjoy my weekly talim because we get so engrossed in our daily life this weekly talim at least gives us a reminder that we are only here for a certain amount of time & we need to prepare ourselves for the life in the hereafter
    May Allah accept all of us for the Noble work of Deen Inshaallah Aameen
    Jazakallah sister

  7. Fatima says:

    Reading this post reminds me so much of my childhood tip toeing around my violent father. abuse takes many forms and marriage is meant to be beautiful not so one sided. I honestly get stressed out for fays part sometimes. someone hitting you is wrong. And people forget the terrible impact it has on children who are forced to live through that

    • That’s so true sister.. A lot of the time people who have witnessed abusive relationships, even as kids, tend to get a slight bit of anxiety when hearing or even reading about other people getting abused…
      Its sad.. May Allah make it easy for everyone who’s had to go through any of this…

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