part 282:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

This year has flown by terribly fast…

It has definitely been quite an eventful year for us…. I hope that next year can have a little more calmness and normality in it…

Honestly, as I sit and think of what has happened this year, I’m amazed at the major turn of events that took place…

And now that the year is coming to an end… We have celebrated both our eids and now its soon to be aashurah…the 10th of muharram… The time when we muslims should really celebrate… Its a new year and new beginnings… Not the 1st of january…

The 10th of muharram should be spend sharing gifts with one another and spending on our family..

Instead of celebrating birthdays and new years, thanks giving, house warming, bridal shower, anniversaries etc etc etc… The 2 eids and muharram and ramadaan should be our time of celebration..

But I am now faced with a dilemma… My kids are usually the most well behaved kids ever.. But for some strange reason, they’ve been acting out terribly…

I’m not sure if its peer pressure at school or maybe the fact that now we have humaira or whether I have just gone wrong somewhere as a parent…

Bringing up kids is most certainly one of the most daunting tasks that an adult has to deal with…

Its like you’re not sure whether to take direction A or direction B when bringing them up..

Whether being too strict could break them or being too lenient could damage their future… Because nowadays it seems like even moderation in bringing them up is the wrong direction to take…

For example, we won’t allow our kids any kind of sweets or luxuries on school days, and on weekends they’re allowed to be spoilt within limits… But then they go behind your back on school days to do what they’re not supposed to do…

As a parent, you have their best interest at heart.. You want them to excel and not have difficulty in learning…

We all want our children to be respectful and obedient… And I especially live for that…

I don’t care if my child eats a sweet that he’s not supposed to… But what realy boils my blood is when my child goes behind my back to do something..

For me, I look at it in the sense that if they are not shown the graveness of their actions when they’re young, they’ll grow up thinking that its okay to always do things behind our backs… And when they’re older, my fear is that there are worse things than eating a sweet behind your parents back…

Then there’s the idea of not giving your kid too much of freedom with technology… They can do all sorts of wrong aswel as good, I agree…. But then their minds wonder to things that they’re not supposed to… And then we wonder, when looking at other kids who have things of the dunya and are spoilt to the last degree, if raadiya and riyaad ever feel like they are being deprived…

Having kids is a nerve wrecking situation…

Riyaad and raadiya have just drawn the line.. Is it some sort of a phase? We always blaming things on that… ‘Oh its just a phase’… but when does the ‘phase’ ever end?

I know I’m not neglecting them in any way…

Humaira is still so little..just around 6 weeks now and sleeps most of the time… So I still give them all the attention that they need..

I’m the only one that ever sits down with homework.. Be it school or madressah.. I’m the one always screaming my head off trying to discipline them..

Is it just me that feels this way? Or do other mothers also feel the strain of bringing up kids?

Does it get easier as they grow? Or worse?

But where have I gone wrong? Why are they becoming such bratty kids?

Its like the challenges in life just don’t end..

**Authors note:
Only para 19 left to complete khatam..pls contribute so that we may start our next khatam for thul hijjah inshallah..



11 thoughts on “part 282:

  1. sister/in/Islam says:

    Mrs S !!!!! Really —- u hav just read my mind …. I was just thinking yesterday that some1 needs to write abt bringing up kids and its challenges ….
    I feel the same …. That we try n teach them what’s right , try n discipline them … But they rebel and misbehave !!!
    And I feel that the bigger they get , the more challenging and difficult it becomes !!!
    We hav2 constantly make dua to اللَّهُ to make us bring our kids up properly and according to shariah and may اللَّهُ make all our kids pious and steadfast on deen and use them for the service of the Deen …. آمين

    جزاك اللهُ خيراً

  2. Shaz says:

    I was wondering if I was the only parent that felt that way. Would really appreciate some guidance on the topic, as it seems to be getting more challenging as they grow.

  3. A says:

    Mrs SL u have brought up a topic that plagues many of us n it just gets worst as they grow older or so it seems
    Also I think they are going through a stage where they want to see what they can get away with, it’s probably peer pressure also n now they want to try their luck at home

  4. fati786 says:

    السلام عليكم و رحمة الله وبركاته

    I have a 5 year old and 1 year old. I feel all alone ḭñ bringing them up and disciplining them. Hubby is always tired or busy. Allah knows best. I’m a stay at home mum so give ɱყ children all ɱყ time. Their dad buys only absolute necessities I ʂɛɛ ʈɵ everything else. Sometimes I’m ʂơơ confused ʂơơ would love some advice ώɧɛŋ ʈɵ draw the line… I’m a fussy person ǟɳɖ ⓘ like things ḭñ order. So ⓘ don’t stop ɱყ children but I’m always busy… will definitely appreciate advice.

    جزاكم الله خير

  5. aziza.H. says:

    Slmz bringing up kids is an amaanah(trust) to parents given to us by Allah,if Allah Ta’ala chose us then surely He knows we are the right person,also know that when bringing up kids always think of deen,would it help their Imaan or not and let the Quraan and Sunnah be a guide for us and for our kids,we have to role models for our kids so if we want kids to be deeni conscious then we have to be deeni inclined,also kitaab reading on lives of Sahaba will help shape the childrens ways of thinking and even though they might rebel or go through a phase of disrespect,we parents must not give up and both parents need to discipline,I feel kids need to know that if they do wrong there will be consequences….Allah Ta’ala make it easy for us to bring up our kids to be the furture flag bearers of Islam!

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