part 300!!!!!

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Ismails fathers stationary shop was closing down? This was something new to us… This shop has been open for years now.. Why in the world would he be closing down? He can’t be retiring.. Who’ll look after them if he retires? No-one else in that house earns..

Oh well… There’s only one way to find out…. I know I sound abit nosy… But ismail and I both wanted to know what was going on.. Especially because ismail put so much of effort all these years to try and bring up the business to be as famous as it has become…

As soon as I had humaira changed, I placed her on my bed and rushed to the house phone to call kulsum….

“Agh…..drama as usual in this family fay… Daddys been acting really weird lately with all of us…. He’s either in an extremely good, bubbly, talkative mood…which is so not like him…. Or he’s in a pathetic mood, snapping at everyone for absolutely nothing,screaming and throwing tantrums… And then he goes missing for 2 days at a time and comes back like nothing happened.. No-one knows where he goes…”

Me:” oh my word… That really doesn’t sound like him…. He’s always so quiet..”

Kulsum: “ya… I know.. But one of the days when he was gone… Mummy got a visit at home from someone saying that daddy hasn’t been paying up his accounts lately and they demanded a great sum of money which she obviously didn’t have…. They threatened to take everything they owned… Apparently daddy hasn’t been paying any of his debtors…”

Me: “but the shop was doing so well.. And december and january is the busiest time of the year… Ismail used to say that they used to do exceptionally well this time of the year.. I remember, this time of the year he used to come home so late and they even used to open till late on sundays… So where’s all the money going to kulsum?”

Kulsum: “I really have no idea.. Mummy says he’s been so stingy lately.. Been squealing to even buy necessities like milk and bread in the house… Always complaining that there’s no money…”

Me:” sounds really bad…. I know how tough it can be.. Hopefully things work out… But if he closes down, what’s he going to do then?”

Kulsum: “he has to close down… The business is going insolvent,… The landlord gave him notice for end of jan.. Everything has to be out by then…. I don’t know what he’s going to do.. He’ll have to start looking for a job”

Me:”what?! So he hasn’t even been paying shop rent? But he and uncle rasool used to be best friends… I can’t believe uncle rasool actually gave him notice..?”

Imagine working for someone after so many years of being independent… And now… At his old age…!

Kulsum: “so mummys really taking it badly… She and rukaya are convinced that someones done something to them…. They’ve been running from moulana to moulana and have even stooped as low as seeing some sangoma lady believing that its black magic….”

I let out a slight laugh….” Always the case… When things go wrong, we blame everyone else…” I blurted that out and before kulsum could take offense on her mothers behalf, I quickly added…” Its just a test from Allah…. Just a test..He wants to bring us closer to Him”

Yes its true… Sometimes what happens in our life is a punishment for us… Its because of our own actions and wrongs that Allah brings about difficulties to take you to task for the wrong you’ve done.. But that also is out of His mercy.. Because He wants to cleanse you.. To change you and better you!

Whereas other times, its mainly a test.. Because Allah loves His creation… He is The Most Merciful after all… He doesn’t want us to go further into sin, so He brings about difficulty so that we may repent from our evil ways and change and come closer to Him before its too late..

If the difficulty brings us closer to Him… Then that’s a sign that we are passing His test….

And if unfortunately the test takes us further away… Then its a sign that we are failing hopelessly..

May we always pass every trial and obstacle put in our way….

“I don’t know how to get them to stop going to these bogus moulanas.. They’re wasting so much of money.. Money that they don’t really have anymore.. Some give them these weird strings to wear on almost every part of their bodies… Some give them things to burn at maghrib time… Some even made them buy some expensive plates and they had to write some ayat on it with saffron and then break the plates…”

I laughed at the stupidity of it all…. I’m not saying all aamils are bogus.. You get very few genuine ones… But nowadays its just a money making thing.. Especially those you have to pay to tell you who has put the ‘evil’ on you…

We need to put our trust more in Allah and beg him for His help… Only Allah can help with things are going downhill and it doesn’t always mean that someones jealous of you..

Me:”and what’s been happening with rukaya? She and altaaf bhai didn’t sort things out yet?”

Kulsum: “ha uh.. He’s not really interested… Hafsa and yusuf have moved in with him though… She’s sweet.. And she’s looking after them nicely.. I keep in touch with her now and then… But please don’t tell anyone.. My mother and rukaya will just have a heart attack if they know!”

Authors note:
I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank every reader of this blog.. Whether you’re subscribed or not.. Whether you’ve just opened the foreveramessup link once or even by mistake…. Whether you find it boring but still read, whether you getting sick of the story or still enjoying it…
If it wasn’t for every one of you.. Especially the few that take the time to like and comment on the blog, I would never have made it to 300 posts in less than a year…
Jazakallah for all the motivation, criticism and support.. I appreciate it all…
Please remember me and my family in your special duas during these great days of muharram as you all are always in mine..
Seeing the stats everyday should not be important.. But to me, seeing that there’s an average of between 1500 and 2000 views daily, makes me smile.. It makes my day to know that 2000 people from all across the world thought of me today….
May Allah keep you all happy, with guidance and contentment in all matters.. May He fulfill every desire of yours and may He continue to put only what is best in my heart to share with you..
With all my love…. Silent living



part 299:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Everything smelt like dadi…. Everything reminded me of her…. Not that dadi ever wore perfume.. But you know, every person has a certain smell to them that’s known only for them….

Her cupboards were to the tee… She’d always kept things so perfect.. So clean and tidy..

She kept things to a bare minimum…

Dadi was never extravagant… She didn’t own much… Whatever she owned, she’d already passed on to all her children and grandchildren… And to the poor and needy..

So it was basically just 1 cupboard full of her things to clear out…

I asked a few of my cousins and aunt if they wanted anything as a remembrance but everyone refused saying that dadi would want us to rather give it to someone needy… Someone who would appreciate it and in that way it could benefit her the most in the life hereafter..

I kept just 1 shawl of dadis…. This particular shawl she used every morning when praying her tahajjud salaah… Whether cold or hot dadi had this shawl wrapped around her tiny body and prayed to Allah…

I wanted it.. To remember her and also to use it the way dadi had…

Dadi had taught me so much in my life… She had looked after me when I had no mother and she looked after me when I was ill and when I’d given birth this time to humaira…

The funny part was that dadi was hardly ever sick… Dada had heart problems… And had already had a mild heart attack couple of years ago… But dadi was as fit as a horse… And instead, Allah chose her in the mubarak lands to fall ill and paSs on…

Truly we will never understand Allahs wisdom…. Its absolutely unfathomable…

Humaira was the sweetest little angel up until now… But ever since we got back from london, she’s been troubling all through the night…

She gets up so often for feeds and I’m getting really exhausted..

Having to see to all the visitors after dadi passing away and the kids and the house and ismail and dada and still not getting a proper sleep at night is really taking its toll on me..

RiyAad and raadiya never slept in the same bed with us… I put them in the habit of sleeping in their cots from birth… But humaira on the other hand has developed the habit of sleeping with us in our bed..

Its so uncomfortable.. I have no idea how other people manage to sleep with so many kids in 1 bed..

I’ve been waking up with a stiff neck and sore back almost every morning..

I felt sorry for her in london because it was so icy cold and now I’m suffering the consequences of it.. She refuses to sleep in her cot… She cries blue murder every time I put her in..

Even if she’s fast asleep, the minute I put her in, she’s screaming and wide awake..

And the problem with having her in the bed with us is that she drinks on me the entire night.. They say that babies can smell the mothers milk.. So now that she’s a little bigger, she manoeuvres her way to me and starts sucking through my clothes which wakes me up realising that she wants to drink again..

I’ve given up on burping her… Its too much of an effort and now that she’s a little older, she seems to be doing it herself.. I just ensure that she’s always on her side so that she doesn’t choke in her sleep…

I guess with the 3rd one many things change without you even realising it.. We seem to not be bothered as much as we used to the first and second time around..

I can’t even imagine what happens the 4th and fifth time round….

School was re-opening next week and the twins are going to grade 1 already… I can’t believe how fast they’re growing up…

We needed a few of their stationary items and although ismails ‘so called’ father owned the most well known stationary shop in town, we were abit reluctant to go there…

Ismail was stubborn and insisted that even if we have to pay a little more at Waltons or PNA, we rather do that than going to the shop that he was kicked out of after all the effort he put into the business..

Men and their pride!

After ismail and I finished the kids shopping at the local PNA in town, we headed straight home because humaira was beginning to get abit restless.. I’d fed her once we got into the car but I think her diaper was messed.. And oh she just cannot stand a dirty diaper so she was whining continuously and giving me a headache…

on our way out of the busy streets in town towards the residential area, we took the alternate route and passed by the shop .. We noticed the signage infront of the shop which had our eyeballs hanging out….

All stock must go before the end of january!!


kalima tayyibah challenge 4:

-bismillahir rahmaanir raheem-
“In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful”

“Keep on refreshing your Faith by reciting the Kalimah frequently.”

Please contribute to our 10 000 kalima tayyibah(first kalima) challenge by e-mailing or commenting..



3.Silent living(500)


5.Silent living(700)


7.Silent living(100)

8.Fathima ismail(100)

9.Silent living(100)


11.Silent living(200)




15.Silent living(100)

16.Sister A(500)

17.Silent living(200)

18.Great fan(1000)

19.Silent living(100)


21.Silent living(100)


Total:10 200


istighfaar challenge 2:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Istighfar removes anxiety and duas are answered.

We are trying to reach 10 000 istighfaar to complete the challenge.. Please contribute whatever amount you wish to by commenting or e-mailing(to those who have my e-mail address)…


2.Silent living(1000)






8.Silent living(500)


10.Silent living(800)

11.Sister A(1000)

12.Silent living(1000)

13.Great fan(1000)

Total:10 000



part 298:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Dadi was fortunately buried in jannatul baqi….. And dada refused to come home earlier… Ofcourse it would give him closure.. To spend more of his time there, praying for his beloved wife… In the blessed city of peace… The city of our honourable prophet( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)

I worry about dada… Dadi and him never left eachother for even a moment.. They grew old together and did everything together…

“There are quite a few south african families” dada said… “And they’ve been of great support my child…. I’ll be okay… No need for any of us to shorten our trips… Dadi would never want to cause any such kind of inconvenience for us.. Besides, what should we rush to go home for? Not like there’s anything waiting for us there…”

He was so right.. Dadi was gone and we needed to accept it.. That she wasn’t going to be waiting with a hot pot of chicken curry and roti like she always did…

My mind kept on wandering to our last meeting.. We had both cried like it was the last time we would see eachother.. Did dadi know? I know they say that sometimes people already know when they’re going.. They see signs…. Not sure if that’s true though…

Maryam and salma decided that its best we have a small yaaseen khatam for dadi that very night.. And also a khatam of first kalimah as this is known to be of benefit for the deceased… Its so different to mourn the death of someone when there’s no actual body infront of you… We are so used to the mayyit being brought infront of us and then picked up to leave for the qabrastaan…

I cried at the restaurant… More out of shock than anything else… But once I was brought back to my senses, I found a different type of strength… This consolation, knowing that dadi had received what she lived herself to die for…

I couldn’t really do much for the rest of the days that were left in london…I felt bad that everyones holiday was spoilt.. And no-one forced me either.. Everyone was quite understanding and supportive.. And assured me that I had nothing to feel bad about.. This was Allahs way of making us realise that we enjoy life but forget that we are all going to leave this world oneday… That we need to remember death no matter what we find ourselves in life…

Having people that care so much around you really makes dealing with situations easier..

But once we were back home, I felt it… The loneliness… The walking past dadis room…. The emptiness in the house… And dada could feel it too, even though he tried not to show it..

Things were different… Its almost as if though we expected her to just walk into the kitchen at any given moment and ask us what she could make for us today…

When the kids were not well, I craved dadis concern and advise for home remdies or dutch medicine..

Dadi always knew the solution to everything..

I never found the courage to walk into dadis room… Even though dada was still there… If I needed dada, I would stand outside the room and call for him..

We didn’t even get to recover from our holiday and the unpacking seemed to have taken almost the whole week.. Not because we had so much of luggage.. But because the house was buzzing with people once again…

Daddys siblings tried convincing dada to move in with them… To rotate… To move from one to the other, but dada was wise enough to understand that that won’t be such a good idea..

He chose to stay here.. Where he lived with his wife.. Where he shared memories with her and where he made a life….

He understood and appreciated the concern of his other kids.. But there was no reason to run away or around…

I was all too glad… I wouldn’t cope if dada too had to leave.. That would leave me alone… All alone… No blood family anymore….

Yes ismail was there.. And the kids… But ismail was not blood… He was my husband, I understand… But dada was the only remaining family that I had left…

My kids are too young to fill that void.. Yet they do at certain times…

The dreaded day had come when all the mourners stopped coming and it was eventually time for me to sort out all dadis possessions… To clear out her cupboards, give her clothes away and the only way to do this was to enter her room…


durood challenge 22:

Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem

For every Durood Shareef that you recite, ten sins are forgiven, ten good deeds are entered into your sheet of actions and ten position are upgraded

Feel free to add your durood count by commenting or e-mailing(to those who have my e-mail address)..

Our aim is 10 000 durood again..but you are allowed to contribute whatever amount you are able to..


2.Silent living(100)




6.Silent living(100)






Total:11 600

Completed! Alhamdulillah…..


kalima tayyibah challenge 3:

-bismillahir rahmaanir raheem-
“In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful”

**The Holy Prophet (Sallallaho alaihe wasallam) has said, “Imaan (Islam) has more than seventy branches* of which the most important is the recitation of Kalimah (Laa ilaha illallaho) “No but Allah is worthy of worship”, and the least one is to remove some obstacle¬† from the way. **

Please contribute to our 10 000 kalima tayyibah(first kalima) challenge by e-mailing or commenting..



3.Silent living(1000)


5.Silent living(100)


7.Silent living(100)



Total:12 700