“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-
“Kulsums point of view”
Me: “rukaya, you’re not a kid… You need to take control of your life.. Don’t allow everyone to control you and your life and tell you what to do… But you also need to realise.. If you go back to altaaf it mustnt be because you need to run away from here and because you’re miSsing all the money and luxury… And if you decide that you going to just accept the talaaq and live here, then it shouldn’t be because you’re scared to tell them what you want…”
Rukaya: “they say its over, he’s given me the talaaq and I’m stupid for allowing him to make me a fool like he did…”
They are right I guess, she is a fool. But not for the reasons they say.. She’s a fool for allowing my parents to control her life..
She has kids to look after.. People have bigger problems in their life… People go through abusive marriages but have sabr and still stick around…
People have druggies and alcoholics as husbands but they still stick around..
I’m not saying that they should.. But what I mean is that rukaya has no serious problems to just allow her marriage to perish right infront of her…
Me:”you need to decide rooks… If you’re going to go back then you need to prove to altaf that you can be a good wife.. That its not all about his money.. You need to love his family and treat them like your own and you need to stop worrying about impreSsing mummy and them and showing them that you’re so great because you can defy your husband in everything he says… That’s not cool… Nabi(S.A.W) taught us to always obey our husbands as long as its to do with shari’ah… If it were permissible to make sajdah to anyone then he wouldve commanded us to make sajdah to our husbands… Mummys worng for always telling us not to give a damn about what our husbands say.. Why did we get married and why did you have so many kids if your husband is not important to you? What doesn’t altaf do for you? So many women will die to have a husband look after them the way he does to you….”
Rukaya: “I knew you were always jealous… And you just proved it now…..”
Kulsum: “get over yourself rukaya… Jealous of what? I’m just trying to help you… And make you see things the way its supposed to be seen…. I’ve got nothing to be jealous of… Alhamdulillah I have the best husband in the world, he is the most supportive husband anyone can have and my inlaws are just as wonderful…. Like ismail says, I may not have money or looks, but I have something better, and that’s a great relationship with my husband and his family and I’m extremely happy and grateful for that…”
Rukaya: “sorry…. I know… I didn’t mean that….”
me: ” well then maybe you need to start watching what you say and do rukaya… You can’t just blurt out whatever you feel like and then say you didn’t mean it… Its fine with me because I’m your sister and I’m used to your ways… But everyone else won’t see it the same way…..”
Rukaya: “but how do I face everyone about this whole yusuf issue.. Its so embarrassing….”
Me: “there’s nothing embarrassing about it… That’s your problem.. You’re always worried about everyone else.. Start worrying about Allah… And what He thinks of you….. Hafsa is such a lovely girl.. Give her a chance…”
Rukaya: “but what will my grandchildren look like kulsum? Will you accept your grandchildren to be black? And have….”
Me:”just stop there ok… I would… She has deen and that’s the most important thing here… Allah created us all differently so we can recognise eachother—not criticize… How many of our own indian girls are so loose and pathetic, would you rather have a daughter in law who ill treats you and has no respect for you or your son… Or doesn’t bring their children up the proper way? Or would you rather have this girl, who has such excellent qualities and respect..and no doubt she’ll look after you and yusuf and bring her children up with deen because that’s all she know is deen”
Rukaya: “ey I don’t know if I can do it…”
Kulsum: “the only thing that’s stopping you is your pride…( Sigh) there’s not much more I can say…. Its all upto you…”
I walked out of her room before I could say anything more and upset either myself or her and things just turn out more ugly…
The atmosphere here was so tense and frustrating… I felt like just going back to faaizas house…
The following paras are still to be completed in our khatam before we can begin our first khatam for thul hijjah.. Please contrbute..
Paras 11 to 17