part 231:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Ismails point of view:

What in the world did I decide? Sitting in I’tikaaf was not all that easy for me….it was tough..considering the hours we had to pull making ibaadah…eish…It was only the first few days, I hoped that I could pull through till the end..

What? I’m just not used to it ok…. I hardly read all 5 namaaz’s.. So this reading of my full taraweeh and sitting for programs through the night was abit difficult.. I felt kind of like it was a burden…

Until one of the nights when they mentioned in a program about how important it is to realise that Allah is not in need of our ibaadah.. Allah is not in need of our fasting.. Allah is not in need of our sacrificing and sitting in I’tikaaf…

When we do all of this, its only for our own benefit….

I never thought of it that way.. I always felt like whatever ibaadah I make, I just HAD to it..

And after I used to perform my salaah, it used to be like a whole burden had been lifted from my head..

I actually used to think: “great! Atleast I’m done!”

But that was and is never the point of it.. How dumb of me to even think like that..

I started thinking of all of this differently…

I started depending on my ibaadah as if it were the only thing that was my salvation…

I stopped doing everything because I had to…

I started doing things because I wanted to and needed to…

And wallahi…the pleasure I started feeling while doing everything….Allahu akbar! Purely amazing…

Its a feeling I cannot explain… This type of feeling needs to be experienced to understand..

This sweetness is awesome..

Its like this is all that I want to do… I was starting to forget that there was another world out there..

All that mattered was this time that I was spending here.. All that mattered to me was this masjid, my ibaadah, and what more I could do…

Listening to the lectures were no longer monotonous…I started looking forward to it… I felt rejuvenated after it and a new intention propped up every time I listened to these learned peoples words of wisdom…

Surely they know more than us…they’ve studied and sacrificed to become the inheritors of deen…

They didn’t just wake up oneday and were crowned with being aalims…

No, infact, as one aalim beautifully put it…it was as if though they were absolutely dirty and were placed into a washing machine…had to endure the spinning and washing process and then when they came out only were they who they are..

Studying ilm, as one of the brothers siTting in I’tikaaf mentioned, was no easy task…

There were sacrifices that were made…firstly it was the sacrifice of leaving the comforts of their homes… Their comfortable beds, their good home-cooked meals..the privacy of their own rooms, their luxuries, cars and entertainment… To come to this place, where now they had to sleep on hard beds, sometimes on the floor, just on a thin mattress..

Then there was the sacrifice of eating madressah food which took years to finally get used to…

Then there was the lack of privacy, where before they had their own rooms, they now had to share a room with a couple of sometimes very weird strangers..

Then there was no longer any entertainment of TV, music, PS, xbox etc etc…

After all those years of waking up early and spending their entire days and nights studying deen, then only could they be called aalims..

And then once they are done with their cause, they are given so little acknowledgement and appreciation…

I never knew all of this….I never knew what aalims actually go through until I spent these 10 days in the masjid.. I became quite close with one the brothers sitting for I’tikaaf who was so humble, I didn’t even know that he himself was an aalim…

One of the day, I was in the courtyard taking a quick puff when I noticed yusuf through the window..

He was just pulling up into his usual spot that I always noticed his car parked in….

Somethings definitely fishy about it because now that I’m in the masjid 24/7, I can fairly say that I’ve Never seen him in the masjid…

So what is this guy upto….?

Today, I’m going to find out…!

Authors note:
Maaf for no post yesterday…was terribly busy…however to make up for it, there will be 2 posts today inshallah…




4 thoughts on “part 231:

  1. A says:

    SubhanALLAH!!! Such beautiful advice that Ismail received from the ulama, it is so true that we have this attitude that الله is in need of our Ibaadah n we r doing it as a favour to الله but الله is not in need of us
    Alhamdulillah Ismail had a life changing I’tikaaf n hopefully he’ll continue being with the humble ulama that he made contact with
    Such a beautiful explanation of how much sacrifice the ulama went thru to be where they are
    Ismail don’t follow Yusuf anywhere, u going to spoil ur I’tikaaf

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