part 230:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

Ismail:”ey babes don’t stress me out here please…..I can’t deal with all this sh** now….why didn’t you tell me earlier…then maybe I could think about it…you come with your ideas now and expect me to just go and talk it through in so little time”

Like hello mr!! Couldn’t you have thought about it in the first place?why did I have to even remind you..

I just rolled my eyes inwardly…annoying man…

Me:”sorry…I just thought about it now…no stress…you don’t have to if you don’t want to..its just a suggestion”

As the time of asr drew closer, ismail began walking up and down the room nervously scratching his head…

Ismail:” you think I should do this? I’m so streSsed..its 10 days.. You think I’ll manage? What if I can’t manage? Can I just come home?”

My eyes widened impulsively…
“Babes this is a big decision…you can’t break your I’tikaaf once you start it….you’ve got abit of time, so you can still change your mind…although I think you’ll regret it if you don’t take this opportunity right now”

Nabi(S.A.W) is reported to have warned the ummah in a hadith to the effect that one should value his free time before he becomes occupied…

Ismail is lucky that he has this opportunity…he doesn’t have to worry about us or the business..everything is running smoothly alhamdulillah with Allahs help…

Who know if firstly he’ll be alive next year to even witness ramadaan, let alone sit in I’tikaaf…. And if he does get the opportunity to witness the next ramadaan, what guarantee does he have that he’ll be free enough and have no responsibilities to be able to sit again….

I once remember listening to a lecture by moulana sulaiman moolla where he mentions that if you have the slightest inclination to do good…then go for it…don’t think twice….just do it….

Even if you happen to be coming out of a club half drunk and can barely stand up straight and the fajr athaan is being called out and your heart tells you to go and perform your salaah, go ahead and do it..

It could be due to that one good deed that Allah grants you hidayah and allows you to repent sincerely from your mistakes…

I once heard of a young girl who never ever performed a single salaah in her life, yet every single day she would be awake at tahajjud time and she would offer 2 rakaats of salaah… And even though she would sleep after that and not even perform her fajr salaah, Allah granted her hidayah and made her a practising scholar of deen..

Nabi(S.A.W) is reported to have said to the effect that no good deed should ever be regarded as insignificant…

In the end ismail gave in after dada convinced him that it was just his evil nafs(self) that was making him doubt this great action…

And so we all began to bid ismail farewell for the next 1 and half weeks….

He greeted dadi and thanked her for everthing, asked for maaf and requested dua from her…

He then came upstairs to us, knelt down and hugged both the kids..
“Don’t trouble mama okay….you going to look after her and be very good kiddos and make lotsa dua for daddy ok?”

They both nodded with sadness in their eyes…

RiyAad:” daddy, but I’m going to come to the masjid with dada 5 times every day so I’ll still get to see you…”

Ismail:”inshallah my son…I love you okay”

Riyaad:”love you daddy”

Raadiya:”but daddy can I also come to visit you?(She pouted)

Ismail:”yes my baby…dada will bring you some of the times, but not salaag times okay..he’ll bring you for a few minutes during the afternoon when its abit quiet okay? But not everyday…you have to stay and look after mama and our little baba that’s coming”

She silently agreed

Ismail left me for last…..obviously….because he knows what a cry baby I am….and by the time he came to greet me, I was already crying my heart out….

I hate goodbyes….even though its just 10 days, and I was really happy that he was going, but I’ll miss him so much…

Even though he annoys the living daylights out of me MOST of the time…

Even though he’s rude and insults me at times…

Even though he can be so heartless and uncompassionate…

I’ll still miss him…because he’s my other half….because he’s my lawful love…because he’s my garment as Allah mentions it so beautifully….

Because without ismail I’m lost…and since we’ve made nikaah almost 8 years ago, he has become the most important thing in my life and I just can’t live without him…I love him with all my heart…

I hugged him so tight and sobbed into his shoulder and he said the kindest words to me that he’s ever said in a very long time..
“I love you babes….you’re my motivation and if it wasn’t for you I would never be taking this step….I’m going to miss you every second of the next 10 days….jazakallah for being the best wife ever and for being the kind of wife that steers me towards Allah……”

And with that he gave me a final kiss and left with dada for the masjid…..


Authors note:
#revivethesunnahofmiswak
#revivethesunnahofawakening
#revivethesunnahofeating
#recitequrandaily
#boycottsin

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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9 thoughts on “part 230:

  1. A says:

    Ey Ismail can be so daft at the best of times but at least he didn’t shout Faaiza
    It is so true that wen u have an inkling to do good hasten towards it bcoz if u don’t Shaytaan will involve u in a greater sin that will be of great regret to u
    I can understand how Faaiza feels that she cries everytime she’s separated from Ismail bcoz the same happens to me after being married for so long, wen my husband has to go anywhere I still tear
    May this be the changing point in their lives n hope Ismail does a lot of reflection in I’tikaaf n comes out a better person

  2. sister/in/Islam says:

    Hmmmph …. Ismail … Really now ? Does Faaiza hav2 be the only sensible one ??!!!
    Its just etiquette – to tell them and ask for forgiveness!!!

    But anyway – NOW he realises her true worth … After all she’s been thru and all the nasty things he’s sed to her … But as they say in gujerati ‘ Sabr ma Sakkar’ – something to the effect .. In patience there is sweetness- so Faaiza has been patient , she’s made lots and lots of dua , and now she’s tasting the sweetness…. Seeing her husband change n be soo much better after all these years mustb really rewarding…
    It shows , that sometimes ppl may seem harsh outwardly but deep down there is some emotion – I can’t call him emotionless anymor – lol

    Absolutely happy for them , and hope that this will b the turning point of his life – its never too late for any1 !!!!

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  3. sister/in/Islam says:

    Ooooh !!! Soo sorry for the loong comment … Just gettin all emotional and carried away ….
    Don’t worry Fay , we here for u …….. 😛

    • Lol…

      Jx…no sorrys for commenting..
      I appreciate every comment..whether long, short, one word, 2000 words, bayaans, masthi, serious, repeats, you get my point…

      Even though I hardly ever reply to comments..I read and luv every one of them…

  4. Aww so happy that Ismail finally did let Faaiza know what a wonderful person she is …
    May Allah let all of us appreciate our spouses & create that bond & love which our Beloved Nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم
    .had with Hazrat Aisha & Khadija R.A

  5. Sister A. says:

    Glad Ismail didn’t bak out at da last minute. Hope he uses dis opportunity 2 reflect on his life & commit himself to changing for da better. Good post as always! 😀

  6. There is still hope for Ismail. This post just shows the forgiving nature of Faaiza, after everything he put her through she’s still going to miss him. Hope Ismail changes for the better now

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