“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-
Ismail:”WHAAT??? Don’t lie? Seriously? Yoh…but aren’t they abit old for that..eish!”
Typical…they all come from one family.. Exactly the response kulsum expected from her mother and them…
Me:”I’m so happy for her though…its so nice…”
Ismail:”not that it makes any difference in our lives really”
Me:” she hasn’t told anyone yet”
Ismail:”why? Since when can kulsum keep anything in..she talks to her mother everyday..I’m sure they know..she’s lying!”
Me:” she’s scared to tell them”
I filled him in about mine and kulsums little conversation and then I went to join dadi and them on the table to eat something…
The next few days were pretty much the same, even though the fasts were slightly tough, I really was enjoying my ramadaan..
I got to do so much more reading than usual.. There wasn’t any stress this ramadaan.. It was just quick quick in the kitchen and the rest of the day could be spent in quraan, dua and thikr..
I unfortunately only managed 10 fasts and then had no other option but to take a break…I was sort of getting weaker by the day and I feared that something would happen either to me or my baby..
As it is I’d already lost the one…I didn’t want to be stubborn and lose the other one also..
Allah had given us lee way for a reason..and by pushing myself to the extreme wasn’t actually gaining me any more piety..infact it was termed as oppression.. Because I was oppressing my own body aswel as my unborn child..
My kids too seemed to be enjoying ramadaan quite abit.. Madressah was closed for the rest of ramadaan and school closed 10 days into ramadaan… Which was great because there wasn’t the stress of sitting down with them to complete school or madressah work and all of that..
It was free and peaceful…
Ismail spent most of his day at work and returned just in time for iftaar everyday, which was best because I didn’t have to deal with his moods and all of that..
I sometimes had a feeling that he wasn’t really fasting…it was just a thought… I mean he was at work the whole day, who was there to watch him…?!
But then I decided that its not my business… It was between him and Allah… And if he wasn’t fasting, then he would be answerable for that on the dreaded day of Qiyaamah..
And if he really was fasting, then I was having evil thoughts about him and I would be the one answering to Allah on the day of qiyaamah for doubting an innocent person who was really making effort…
One-day when ismail returned from taraweeh salaah, I was busy reading quraan..
Ismail:” you know I never got to speak to yusuf about what he wanted from me…but everyday when I go for esha I see his car already parked there in one specific shady spot….and its not very hard to spot yusufs car”
Yusuf is your typical youngster….a red polo GTI..dropped suspension…with scirocco mags and ‘playboy’ number plates..
Me:”wow…that’s so nice…atleast he’s changing and coming onto the right path…”
Ismail:”but the funny part is I’ve never spotted him anywhere in the masjid(confused)”
Me:”babes….there are so many people in the masjid, I doubt you get to meet everyone..I mean how often do you bump into your father?”
Ismail:”that’s because he doesn’t perform taraweeh ever in his life”
Me:”what about jumu’ah…?you ever bump into him on a jumu’ah?”
Ismail:”thank my lucky stars for that”(sarcastic)
Me:”my point is, if his car is there, then he must be there…”
Ismail:”or…..he could not be….”
Ismail had this weird smirk on his face like he was on to something… Now what!?