part 222:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

The rest of my first fast was alright alhamdulillah…I managed well and had extra energy…I managed to bake some plain muffins for sehri and I baked some pies, fried some samoosas and made a few individual bowls of firni…

I somehow had much more energy whilst I was fasting…the nausea got abit extreme during the afternoon, but that was probably due to hunger…

A pregnant woman can never stay hungry for too long without feeling terribly nauseous… I rushed to throw up a few times, but since there was nothing in my tummy, all that came out was yellow bile…

But overall I managed…..until iftaar time ofcourse..

For some very odd reason, the minute I broke my fast I felt as if I was going to faint any minute..

And its not that I over ate or anything, I just broke my fast with a date and a quarter glass of zam-zam.. And I already felt absolutely light headed… Everything was spinning around me and the slightest noise was piercing through my ears like a major thunder storm was going on inside my head…

I needed to just drop down..

Dadi:”bachu….you okay?”

I couldn’t even answer..I managed to lightly shake me head to say no..

Dadi:”come..let me help you to my room…just lie down for a few minutes…you probably need something sweet.. Your sugar levels must have dropped quite badly…”

I couldn’t even refuse today….dadi caringly helped me to her room as it was the closest room available..I definitely was never going to make it all the way upstairs to my room…

Ismail couldn’t care less..he gobbled away and went outside to hit a smoke while dada and riyaad rushed to the masjid to make it for salaah..raadiya and dadi cleared up the table abit before coming to perform salaah themselves..

I felt terribly guilty…I tried fulfilling one fardh act, yet now I have no energy to even complete another compulsory act…

Me:”diya baby..please help mama up…”

Raadiya:”why mama?where are you going?you’re sick…dadi said that you shouldn’t get up at all”

Me:”no baby..I’m feeling a little better..( I lied).. I just need to perform my maghrib salaah please”

Raadiya helped me up and laid out the musallah for me..un fortunately I was too weak to stand and even though I tried, by the time I knelt down for sajdah, I couldn’t get myself up at all so I was forced to sit and perform my salaah…

I had to keep reminding myself that it was okay..and that there was no sin for sitting and reading as I was excused and Allah understood how weak I was..

I had never sat and performed my salaah my entire pregnancy…I really wasn’t comfortable doing this…

After making salaam I raised my hands and asked Allah to give me the strength to perform my esha and taraweeh salaah later…

Dadi has a habit of performing 6 rakaahs of salaatul awwaabeen aswel after her maghrib salaah..

This is something that I admire about dadi and dada…every and any salaah there can possibly be, they perform..

They start their day with tahajjud salaah when no-one else is around to witneSs their sincerity and when it is just them infront of their Allah…when Allah comes down to the lowest heaven and says oh My Servant…ask of me and I will grant it to you…

Their fardh salaah are performed in such perfection, no nafl are ever missed out…there’s no shortcuts for dadi and dada.

I usually have a terrible habit of shortening most of my salaah..

Zuhr I shorten to just 4, 4 and 2
Asr I only perform 4
Maghrib I always miSs out my 2 nafl after
And esha is the worst… I’m sure we all are aware of shortening it to just 4, 2 and 3…

Astaghfirullah..I feel ashamed when I’m around dadi and dada…they are truly on a different level…

They even performed 2 rakaats of salaah every time they perform wudhu..known as tahiyyatul wudhu…

And I find it hard to make wudhu, let alone read 2 rakaahs of salaah after wudhu…

My wudhu can last me right from zuhr all the way through to esha sometimes if I’m lucky…

Sad is my condition..honestly….I need to change…ramadaan is such a great time to reflect and realise how truly evil I am…

Sometimes when we perform just our 5 salaah, even though so haphazard, we have this evil thought that we are so good and pious compared to others who don’t even perform their salaah, not realising how many REAL pious people there are in this world who are doing so much more good than we are…

People who are completing khatams after khatams of the quraan shareef…

People who’s tongues are constantly moist with the thikr of Allah

People who follow almost every sunnah, regardless of what others may think of them…

People who have no evil thoughts in their mind and hearts regarding the next person…

Here I am, so sinful…astaghfirullah…I can only hope that through the Divine Mercy of Allah Ta’aalah that I will be forgiven and granted jannah…

I can totally understand why daddy was such a good man…he came from such great parents and was brought up with so much of islam….

And the way that he lived, was the way that Allah took him from this world..

He caused no inconvenience to anyone in his life…he was always calm and peaceful…

“And the way you live, is the way you’ll die..and the way that you die is the way that you’ll be resurrected on the day of qiyaamah”

Once dadi was done performing her salaah, she folded up the musallah and instructed me to rest while she warmed up the food for anyone who still wanted to eat…

Ismail walked into the room, very concerned suddenly, about how I’m feeling……

Authors note:
Jumu’ah mubarak to everyone..please remember myself and my family in your precious duas on this mubarak day….

Most importantly do not forget to read abundant durood and forward your durood contributions to our durood may contribute by e-mailing or commenting under this post…



5 thoughts on “part 222:

  1. A says:

    Faiza is so strong ما شاءالله that despite everything she’s been thru she still persists and carries on
    I liked dadi’s statement wen she said paying back is only difficult when we think it’s difficult, we only feel what we think, there are some ppl who fast and enjoy their fast on the long, hot summer days
    ALLAHu Akbar Dadi and dada are truly amazing ppl that truly the friends of الله
    Maybe Ismail should go for a lecture by an Aalim who will talk on practicing Deen in totality and let that be the turning point in his life bcoz under that harsh personality is a loving father and husband

  2. sister/in/Islam says:

    Its true … As ‘A’ sed , under his harshness – ISmail does hav a caring side – which was shown b4 his marriage .. Its just wen he’s arnd the gremlins that he used to b terrible… And that has become second nature to him- and now hopefully he’ll slowly get out of it and become a wonderful , loving person !!! ‎​​إنشاءالله …. For Fay and the kids sake !!

    It really is a reality abt short-cut salah – I’m guilty of that !! May ‎​اللَّهُ make me maaf and giv me strenght to change my bad habits – ‎​​​​آمين

    ‎​​​جُمُعَة مُبَارَك to u all – n rmb my family n I in ur duas !
    ‎​صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
    ‎​صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
    ‎​صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

    Plz add 200 durood for me
    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  3. Sister A. says:

    الْحَمْـّدُاللَّه Faaiza’s strength & positive attitude 2wards her challenges °̩и life r carrying her through. Its so good to have elders like Daadi & Daada who are strong on دين , °̩и the home. They are good examples for the rest of the family. إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ they will be a good influence on Ismail & the children as well.

  4. Masha Allah, brings back so many memories. Many feel bad about sitting and reading in Salaah during pregnancy, but I was told that rather than rushing through the Salaah and Ruku and Sajdah, sit and take one’s time. Allah is Most-Merciful.

    About Tahiyyatul Wudhu, masha Allah, the story of our Nabi (SAW) and Hadhrat Bilal (RA) comes to mind.

    Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said to Bilal: “Bilal, tell me which act you did at the time of the morning prayer for which you hope to receive good reward, for I heard during the night the sound of your footsteps before me in Paradise?” Bilal (radi Allahu anhu) replied: “I did not do any act in Islam for which I hope to get any benefit, but this, that when I perform complete ablution during the night or day I observe prayer with that purification, what Allah has ordained for me to pray.” [Sahih Muslim]

    SubhanAllah… What Bilal (RA) used to do is not that difficult to do. He would try to stay in a state of purity, and whenever he did wudhu or ghusl, he would pray nafl rakaat with that wudhu. Imagine, this simple act enabled his footsteps to precede those of Rasul Allah (SAW) in Paradise.
    the reward if we try for the same? Allah give me the tawfeeq first. Aameen.
    JazakAllah, sister , for the lessons!

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