part 221:

“Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-

So much for spoiling my mood…I was in such a cheerful and happy mood…

And come on! That could not have hurt so badly, considering my size…even though I’m pregnant, I’m quite tiny compared to ismail….but I guess kulsum was right, exaggerating does seem to run in the family…

As much as I try to ignore him, it hurts that he has no respect in the way that he talks to me…

They say that when a person is fasting, and someone starts a fight, tell them that you are fasting…but to ismail it makes no difference…only he deserves respect when he’s fasting…

I pull the blankets off myself and get out of the room before he continues to insult me any further….and bang the door closed behind me…

He can continue sleeping for the rest of the day..who cares….its actually more peaceful when he’s sleeping…

I can hear the kids giggling in riyaads room so I walk to their room instead…

Riyaad was tickling raadiya and they seemed so carefree and happy….mashallah….I silently made a dua that Allah always keeps my kids happy and content…

Raadiya:”mama!!assalaamu alaykum….please save me….yaad is troubling me”

I busied myself laughing with my kids abit….and that brought me back to my own blissful self again…

Children really do help to ease tension in our lives.. I don’t know what my life would be like without my kids… Would there really be any reason to live…

Having a husband like ismail who often seems like he’s bi-polar… One minute he’s all moody and performs as if I’m his greatest enemy and the next moment he’s all crazy about me….

I would have definitely gone tarty by now if I didn’t have my kids to ease away all my stress…

Yes they can be quite a handful too, especially when they don’t listen or when they fight and bicker constantly.. But over all they are truly a blessing from Allah…

I found dadi busy in the kitchen…

Dadi:”salaamwa laykum bachu….you had a good rest ma?”

Me:”alhamdulillah I did….after a long time..lately I don’t know in which position to sleep….I toss and turn most of the night, I even tried putting a pillow inbetween my legs when I sleep..but shooh..I supposed I’ll only feel at ease once I give birth….”

Dadi:”good….you must take it easy…and if you can’t manage to keep roza…Allah won’t punish you my child…just don’t cause any harm to yourself or your baby”

Me:”jee dadi…I won’t….I’ll see how it goes and if I can’t cope, I’ll stop…even though catching up afterwards is so difficult…”

Dadi:”beti its only difficult because we keep saying its difficult….its all in the mind…but if we say we will do it…then we can inshallah…even if its just mondays and thursdays….how do we do it in ramzaan?so easy it is…”

Me:”true…(Smile)…(Peering at the stove)….what you so busy making dadi? If I knew that you’re starting so early, I wouldve come down to help you…”

Dadi:”no ma…you must rest..I’m just boiling my know dada and I love our haleem when we break fast…its keeps you nice and full and also it gives you so much energy to make ibaadah”

Me:”oh I used to love dadis haleem before…I actually missed it all these years…will be good to have it again…”

Dadi:”don’t worry, I make a fresh lot every few days…sometimes with chicken, sometimes with mutton…”

Me:”as long as you don’t give me all that feet and knuckles and all that…”

Dadi laughed….

I loved my grandparents too….they were just so carefree and content…I presume it was because of the simple life that they led…they didn’t care about the things of this dunya(world)…they didn’t care about what people said..they didn’t care about anything for that matter..they only cared about Allah and what pleased him……

I wish I could be like that..I really would love to change and be a better person..but sometimes I think its abit harder without ismails support..

Like I’ve often contemplated going into niqaab(purdah)…but then, ismail is so modern and how strange will it look…a guy with spikes and all modernly dressed, and me all covered up…

Even though I now wear my cloak and scarf full time, I love it, and its become a part of me, but I still feel awkward around ismail….

Authors note:
A new page has been added under the title of duahs…feel free to check it out…
The link for the specific page, for those who are unable to access it on the blog, is :




4 thoughts on “part 221:

  1. sister/in/Islam says:

    Sister S … I know I’m soo late – but I got abit delayed …. Was reliving fay’s story – reading most of the older posts … And having a GOOD laugh at both the posts and the comments …. Hehehehe

    Beeeg exaggerator !!! Ismail … Hmmph .!!!!!….

    Eish … Come on – u not the ONLY one fasting there – and Faaiza is preggies – and the kids r sooo sweet …….
    Its so true , that kids can brighten up a persons mood – they r soo innocent and full of energy !! ‎​​​ما شاء الله

    HALEEM !!!! Yummeeee …. Food !!!! By now u know I lurrvvve food – lol …
    Don’t worry Fay … This Ramadaan is gonna b the turning point … Ismail is gonna do a 360′ – *hide* …‎​​إنشاءالله
    And he’s gonna b such a changed person … For the better

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  2. A says:

    Sister S, Maaf for the very late comment, read the post n then got busy with family
    Ismail needs to come out of that self centredness n realize that Fay also got feelings and he can’t treat her the way he ws treated by the gremlins. He also needs to realize that whatever he’s been thru only Fay was at his side, if it was another woman she would’ve left him along tym ago
    Children can truly brighten ur day, they are so pure and truly a gift from الله
    It is so important to have a spouse that will support u in doing what is right but ان شاء الله this will be the Ramadhaan that Ismail turns his life around n he will ان شاء الله be dressing n looking like a Muslim n ان شاء الله it will be easier for Fay.
    Having grandparents around is such a blessing esp if they are Deeni inclined and remind u of الله. Also grandparents have so much more love and affection than our own parents Alhamdulillah

  3. Sister A. says:

    Urrrrrrgggg Ismail man!!!!!! Wen r Ʋ ever gona wake up?
    After all the sabr Faaizas been mkin over da yrs إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ Ismail will change 4 da better dis Ramadaan. Now dat Ismail’s real famly hav cum into his life, hopefully dey will hav a positive impact on him.

  4. amina says:

    I think that faiza’s asking for a lot from Ismail. She needs to also realise were he came from, and how he’s trying in his own sml way to change. Doesn’t make her any better to be constantly judging him. And I’m sure its no help to Ismail also. I’m not saying he’s right, I just feel she should try to cut him some slack. Having made so much of sabr before when she didn’t expect things to get any better, she should just try for a little while longer to be patient especially since there have been lots of changes, big and small….

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