part 195:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

The couple were very warm and friendly….they obviously took to ismaa’il immediately…they just totally adored him..like I said they would….

We sat and made small talk for quite some time and I’m sure the sadness could be heard in our voices as much as we could hear the excitement in theirs…

Maryam was brave and put a good face throughout and I too tried my best to be nice…but it was hard..really It was…how do you be nice to the people you are giving your first and only child away to?strangers you know nothing about…

To be honest..we didn’t need their gifts..even though it was probably brought out of the goodness of their hearts, like I said…’Probably’…what was the need for material gifts when our most valuable gift was being taken away….I know we have some what of the decision to make for ourselves, ut only if you were in our situation would you really understand it…we wanted so badly to keep him yet we knew that we would never be able to give him a fair life…

They asked us many questions regarding ismaa’il…his sleeping patterns, his exact date of birth, time of birth…regarding any complications at the time of birth and even about what formula maryam was feeding….they looked abit annoyed when maryam mentioned that she breastfed him abit….but quickly changed to a very faulty smiling,happy face…

we had asked for a few days to make up our mind, to which the woman remarked:
“Please hurry…as we have to return to south africa as soon as possible and get into routine you know”

She let out a very fake giggle after that…..probably realising how uncouth she was being..could this woman have no compassion? This was probably the hardest thing anyone had to do…could she not just be considerate and give us our time to decide what our decision would be?

Maryam being maryam as always never had a bad word to say about them….maryam generally never spoke ill of anyone…to her that was just crossing the line…she preferred to rather remain silent than utter anything bad about the next person…
“Love you’re just being sensitive…I don’t think these people are all that nasty..they seemed quite friendly…we shouldn’t be having evil thoughts about others love…..you know nabi(S.A.W) discouraged that…he(S.A.W) said to the effect that talking ill of the next person is worse than adultery..imagine that!!”

That was maryam….

I once read a saying that “a man who sees positively will think positively”

We can say that just as earth, air, water, and their constituents have an influence on the development of a plant, so do thoughts and intentions have an influence on the development of the ethical conduct and character in a person. As flowers flourish from seeds and birds hatch from eggs, lofty souls and perfect characters are nurtured by beautiful thoughts and pure intentions. Moreover, those who live as if they constantly breathe a heavenly atmosphere thanks to their noble thoughts and sincere intentions begin to send out the fragrance of the same climate around them in time. They turn their surroundings and other people’s hearts into gardens of Paradise.

And so that is what maryam had done for me as the weeks, months and years passed by..her positive thoughts and mindset had made me look at things from a totally different perspective..praise to Allah for that…

After 3 days of istikhaarah and begging Allah for guidance and an extremely heavy heart, we informed the couple and sheikh about our decision to hand our greatest gift over to them…

We packed up whatever we could and went over to sheikhs home where the papers for adoption were signed and ismaa’il was handed over to their new family…

As soon as the papers were signed, sheikh served some treats which maryam and I could hardly swallow even though we hadn’t had something good to eat in a long while…and then we all dispersed to start a brand new life once again…

Maryam and I held onto eachother that very evening and cried our hearts out…..we had never felt this type of pain, not even when our families had disowned us…it was a lot to come to terms with and as much as we were happy with the decree of Allah, it was just something really difficult to cope with…

The next day, I got up to go to work…it was very difficult though, but I had no choice..life had to go on….we had to move on as if though he never existed…which was quite impossible as he was so alive within us that we could never just forget..

As I had reached work there was a visitor already eagerly waiting for me….


Authors note:
8 khatams complete alhamdulillah

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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8 thoughts on “part 195:

  1. sister/in/Islam says:

    Oooh yaa ‎​اللَّهُ !!!!!!
    Really emotional !!
    Only those who r put in this kind of situation will understand the pain they must b goin thru !!!!!!

    Hmmm ….. FAKE MOZAICS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a wonderful woman Maryam is ‎​​​ما شاء الله , Ismail wudhv been soo much different if he was brought up by her ………

    Hmmm- now whose this visitor !!
    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  2. YA RUB AALAMEEN! ! This is very emotional I can’t imagine the pain we are just reading it & it makes our hearts ache. What about those people who really are faced with such situations
    May Allah help one & all
    Jazakallah to u authoress ur writing is Excellent !!! May Allah reward you💚

  3. Just me says:

    As always,certain words of tours resound wt me at just the right time wher i would find it easier to give in to bad thoughts and akhlaaq. Portayal is so emotional n touchng,p.s i dont think even a dark haired white cn be mistakened for indian as ismail is and no one questioned it:) only far fetched aspect

  4. A says:

    Ya الله!!
    This story is getting more emotional as it goes along
    I wonder y they were in such a hurry to take Ismail away n such a fake woman
    Also I wonder what Sheikh got out of it for pushing them into doing this
    Maryam is such a beautiful person, she always looks at the good in other ppl and doesn’t doubt them for a moment even if they sound n look faulty
    I wonder who the visitor is….
    Sister SL جزاك الله خيرا for all the beautiful daily posts

  5. SamuRai says:

    Aww man this is sooo sad. Maryam is really strong and a very kind person. Any other mother, would interrogate them and ask them the questions. That can never be easy for anyone. Hmm now who’s the visitor. It’s going to interesting to know how imraan and Maryam became better off, a lot of hard work yeah.
    Jx for the post

    samurai9602.wordpress.com

  6. Sister A. says:

    😥 😥 😥 very emotional! Can only imagine the emptiness they must hav experienced after giving Ismail away.

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