part 191:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

Sheikh called me to give me some advice…

Sheikh:”imran bhai….I have heard from someone that there is a muslim family from south africa looking to adopt a baby boy…they would pay for it even and do whatever needs to be done in order to adopt a new born baby boy….(Pause)….I know this will be hard on you, but think of it..consult with Allah, make istikhaarah and take it from there…”

Me:”but sheikh…we don’t even know if it will be a girl or boy..besides…maryam will never agree to something like this..its a tough decision….”

Sheikh:”I know..that’s why..ask Allah for guidance…if it is a girl, then keep her…but if it is a boy…then look into it…I feel that there is a reason why I had received such news….Allah knows best”

Me:”I don’t know sheikh…with all due respect, I think we will pass on this offer”

Sheikh:”imran bhai, I am only telling you this for your own good…I will never advise you to do something that is bad for you…I have been with you from the beginning and I have seen how tough things are for you and your wife…and as much as I and everyone else would love to continue helping you for the pleasure of Allah, you need to consider the fact that yout wife has been terribly ill throughout her pregnancy because of your lack of provisions in the home…you don’t want to put this new born in the same condition do you?look! All I am saying is that this is an opportunity for your child to have a better life than what you and your wife will be able to offer inshallah….”

I left sheikhs home in a terribly sombre mood…how could we give up our baby after all this time of going through so much of difficulty…we have grown to love it even before it comes into this world..

I am so attached to my baby even though I haven’t seen it as yet…

I sleep holding maryams tummy….I talk to my baby before I leave for work and wheni return….I recite quraan to it and I pray that Allah keeps it safe…I even sacrifice my eating for this baby I haven’t yet met….and then when its finally time to meet this little being who has made me even love my wife more…we must let it go? We must give it up? To strangers? All the way across the world? Where we will never witness it growing up, playing, laughing, talking, walking?

Instead of going home, I took a detour to the masjid…I cried to my Allah to make things easy for us…to do what He feels is best for us because in the end of the day we may love something which infact is harmful for us and we may dislke a thing when it is for our betterment….

I couldn’t go straight home…maryam had enough stress of her own for me to now bring this upon her…

I didn’t mention a thing to her after that…I decided that I would just let it go for the time being a decide once she has given birth…

Allah put it in my heart that if it was a boy, then we would go ahead with sheikhs plan and if it was a girl we would keep her…

Until then I prayed everyday to Allah, to keep maryam safe and to keep my baby safe and healthy and to provide for us and make things easier for us…I never one day lost hope in my Allah, because it is He alone that had brought me from ignorance to light and it is He alone that has guided me and kept me alive thus far…

The day had come for maryam to give birth…the doctor had given her a date and I had asked moe to have his sister or mother check on maryam during the times I was at work….

Maryam was getting abit of pain before I left for my night job that thursday evening and sometime during the evening I received a call at work to say that maryam had gone into labour…

I immediately rushed to the hospital…all I could think of was that this day would determine the future of so many people…


Authors note:
7 khatams complete alhamdulillah

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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6 thoughts on “part 191:

  1. sister/in/Islam says:

    Yaa ‎​اللَّهُ !!!
    Really- a touching post !!
    May ‎​اللَّهُ grant us all such strong Yaqeen in HIM !!! ‎​​​​آمين – wow ……
    Its such a difficult thing to do.
    Hmmm .. Wonder what Maryam’s reaction is going2 b like ???!!

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  2. Ummi M Urwah says:

    Way 2 heart breaking . Its so sad crying n reading this post. Its also a wake up call 4 us living gud lifes. How much shukar we shud be making every day . May Allah bless us all with halaal risk n lots of barakah Ameen

  3. Sister A. says:

    What a sad situation 2 b °̩и. 😥 Not an easy decision 2 mk. 😦
    Wonder wat Maryams goin 2 say abt dis.

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