part 190:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

Maryam:”WHAT???!!!”

Maryam glared at me..I didn’t know whether to laugh or run…..

Dr:”oh….uh….I get that you haven’t broken the news to her as yet?well….anyway..congratulations..you’re approximately 5 weeks pregnant…however you do need to take good care of yourself..make sure you get enough vitamins and iron….some folic acid in the beginning would do…and please have atleast 6 tiny meals a day….your little one needs that…”

SIX???oh my goodness….we have one proper meal every six days and here he needs her to eat 6 times in 1 day…gosh!complications after complications….

I watched maryams reaction…she was utterly dumbstruck….I don’t think she even took In anything that doc was telling her..I think she was too busy processing that she was going to have a baby…

As soon as doc left, I knew exactly what was going to happen……and so it did….

Maryam:”how the hell couldn’t you tell me?!!!!!!you asked if I want a baby….like I even have a choice…..now what are we going to do?”

And typical maryam……the waterworks were back…gosh this woman was soooo emotional…probably had something to do with the her hormones and the pregnancy…..she’s lucky that I love her so much…..or else I don’t know how I’d handle all her mixed emotions…

I guess she put up with so much of me…so much of my uselessness…so much of me being unable to provide enough for her…so much of me not being able to give her the luxuries that other women enjoy…I could put up with her little bit of emotions I guess….I would put up with anything of hers for that matter..she’s my everything…

Me:”we’re going to take one day at a time and leave the rest in Allahs hands…..maryam love…were we not left with nothing when our families threw us out?”

She just nodded…

Me:”And Allah has provided us with much more now….we have a shelter of our own…we have clothes to wear…I have a job….alhamdulillah….every step that we take, Allah will put barakah inshallah…there’s a reason for everything…”

Maryam:”but love, this child is a trust unto us…and I don’t want to lose this child after 9 months of carrying it in my tummy…what if we still don’t have enough in the end?its expensive to have a baby…..think realistically….how on earth are we going to afford diapers?and all the other necessities for a baby?”

Me:”Allah,maryam…Allah….like I said..let’s take it one step at a time and we can decide as we go along inshallah….tawakkal alallaah….trust in Allah!”

And so we did…we took it one step at a time….but unfortunately things were getting tougher as the days went by…my hours were pulled longer but I felt as if I was being underpaid…I don’t know if it was because I was muslim that I was treated so unfairly but I honestly felt like I worked harder than any of the other employees…yet I was getting the least amount of pay…

Maryam was in and out of the clinic as she kept on getting too weak due to not enough food at home…

I tried eating less just so that maryam could eat more..ofcourse she knew nothing about it…I would insist that I didn’t need to take lunch to work as they provided meals for us..this was totally untrue, but maryam needed the food more than I did…

I started fasting every monday and thursday so that I didn’t have to worry to eat on those 2 days and later I fasted the fasting of prophet dawood(A.S) which was fasting every second day….

This type of fasting was most beloved to Allah ta’aalah and most definitely Allah would ease our situation by means of this sacrifice I was making…

I wouldve fasted everyday if I could help it, just so that maryam and my little baby could get all the nutrients they needed…

But ofcourse islam does not allow us to go any extreme ways….

Once nabi(S.A.W) was informed that hazrat abdullah bin amr bin al-aas(R.A) had said: “I swear by Allah! I will fast and I will spend my nights in prayer as long as I live.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) questioned him about it and said: “You will not be able to do that. Fast at times and abstain from fasting at times. Pray at night and sleep. Fast for three days a month, for truly every good deed is rewarded tenfold, so three days a month is like fasting every day.”

Abdullah binAmr(R.A) said: “I can do better than that.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Then fast for one day and refrain from fasting for two.”

Abdullah binAmr(R.A) again said: “I can do better than that.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Fast one day and break your fast one day. This was the fast of David (peace be upon him), and it is the best of fasts.”

Abdullah binAmr(R.A) then said: “I can do better than that.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “There is no fast better than that.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1840)

So judging from this hadith that sheikh had advised me regarding, I wouldn’t go to the extreme of fasting every single day…

Sheikh was my confidante…I trusted in him about everything and knew that he would give me the best advice…

In the 8th month of maryams pregnancy, sheikh especially called me to discuss something very important with me…

I knew it was importat because sheikh would never specifically ask me to meet him when I had abit of free time as it was of extreme urgency…

I was worried..had I done something not befitting for a muslim to do?had I done something to cause sheikh to become angry with me?was this regarding maryam?had she done something or said something out of hand that needed to so urgently be discussed?


Authors note:
7 khatams complete alhamdulillah
Please bear with me till after ramadaan….I’ll try my best to post daily but my times are going to be very irregular…

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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4 thoughts on “part 190:

  1. sister/in/Islam says:

    ‎​​​ما شاء الله ….. They r reverts n have soo much faith in ‎​اللَّهُ !!!! They r soo strong ‎​​​الحمد لله …. Nowadays u see ‘born’ muslims breaking down when put thru minor tests compared to theirs !! May ‎​اللَّهُ grant us complete yaqeen in HIM n may we understand that everything happens thru ‎​اللَّهُ divine wisdom n for a specific reason – ‎​​​​آمين

    Hmmm ….. Wonder what Sheikh has2 say ???!!!

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  2. sisterinislam says:

    ​السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُاللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
    Wow, I’m so touched by Imraans sacrifice & love for his wife. We should all appreciate our spouses , ﷲ͜ knows what they have sacrificed for us & how much of tolerance they have towards us اَلْحَمْدُلِلّه

  3. zana says:

    Ya allah. So much pain and suffering to bring a baby into this world. Imraan really sacrificed so much for maryam. May allah give us the strength to accept whatever our allah puts us through

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