part 188:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

Maryam has been a great pillar of strength to me…we had become one from the day we made nikaah….we went through many struggles together…

Being reverts, there was a lot that we needed to fix and change in our lives….it was a great step but together we knew we could do it…

I thank Allah every day for blessing me with a wife like maryam…

It was a joint decision that maryam should not work…as I said…we were now muslim before anything else…and our nabi(S.A.W) emphasised on so many occasions that it would be best for a woman to remain indoors…

If you come to think of it really, when a woman is in the holy lands of makkah mukarramah and madinah munawwarah, even then nabi(S.A.W) has mentioned to the effect that a womans salaah read indoors is more rewarding than reading it in the haram shareef…

So for this reason I would work extra…I had a job during the day and twice a week I worked a night shift for a different company…

The hours were tough and whatever little time we had, maryam and I would attend madressah…

There was an aalim and his wife that were willing to teach us islam and how to perform salaah correctly and also how to recite the quraan….

Sheikh sacrificed so much of his time to teach me, and I am eternally grateful to him….it is through his extra efforts and sabr that alhamdulillah today I am a haafithul quraan….

It took many years, twenty maybe?and while moulana patiently taught me, apa lovingly took maryam as her very own sister and taught her every aspect of deen….maryam too alhamdulillah had managed to memorise many surahs of the quraan…

You must know that to teach a revert is no easy task..our dialect is so different and for us to pronounce the islamic and arabic terms correctly was quite tough…but alhamdulillah, where there’s a will, there’s a way…

Maryam and I never gave up…we had this enthusiasm and zeal for knowledge…we were like thirsty lions waiting for any new bits of knowledge we could receive…

And it was all so new and exciting for us…

Just over a month after we made nikaah, maryam fell terribly ill…she became weak and frail…she was throwing up all day and had no strength to even lift her body up…the lack of food in our home didn’t help much with the situation…

There were days when we just had a slice of bread each to eat alhamdulillah…

We didn’t complain to anyone and not even mohammed and his family had any idea of our suffering…as I had heard that by complaining of ones poverty to others, our poverty will only increase and every bit of barakah will be removed from our home and lives…we complained only to Allah….like hazrat yaqoob(A.S) used to say after he had lost hazrat yusuf(A.S)….that I complain of my grief and sorrows only to Allah…..

We bore it with patience, remembering that our rasool(S.A.W) had undergone far worse than us…he wouldn’t have food for days on end..he starved so much that he would have to tie a stone to his belly so not to feel the pangs of hunger…so what is this little bit of starvation compared to that of the greatest human being.?

We consoled ourselves thinking that the poor will enter jannah years before the rich and that Allah and nabi(S.A.W) loved the poor..

My jobs were not bringing us out…even though we lived simply, the area where we lived was quite expensive…

All my hard work was merely just enough to pay for rent at the end of the month….

One day I came home from my day-time job…usually maryam rushes to greet me with her tight hugs and warm smile after a tiring day as soon as she hears the key in the door….

This specific day she wasn’t waiting for me at the door…and since our flat was so small, the minute I entered I seen her lying down on the mattress…

I quietly came in, so not to disturb my sleeping beauty as she was probably not feeling too well and resting abit…

However, when I reached her and gave her a light peck on her cheek, I realised that she was looking terribly pale…I tried waking her up now to give her a sip of water and maybe try to find something for her to eat but to no avail….

Maryam was not sleeping peacefully…she was lying in an unconscious state for who knows how long..



18 thoughts on “part 188:

  1. A says:

    سبحان الله what sacrifice and steadfastness, really reminds us of the Sahaabah رضي الله عنهم

  2. sister/in/Islam says:

    Wow !!!! ‎​​​ما شاء الله ….. What strenght … N such a touching post !!

    Awww – wonder what has happend 2 her !!!

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  3. Sister A. says:

    سبحان الله. They really had a tough time °̩и their early days as Muslims. Bt they persevered & sacrificed patiently الْحَمْـّدُاللَّه

  4. Lovely posts over the past few days. Very interesting to read about Imraan and Maryam’s life and why they had to actually give Ismail up for adoption

  5. zana says:

    Imraan and mariam really went thru a lot. But allah tests only those shom he loves. Hope ismail is listening to his father’s story

  6. muslimah says:

    Slmz dear sister, its the first time I am commenting, however I am following ur blog since silent living and I must commend u on a job well done!! Being a writer and journalist myself, it feels great to read the likes of ur work, abs loving the posts over the past few days, too beautiful mashAllah!

    Keep up the excellent work and most imp may Allah Ta’ala use it as a means of hidayah for each n every person who reads it and a means of sadaqah e jaariyah for u on d day of qiyaamah. Ameen.

    • Wslm sister…
      Jx sooo much for those very thoughtful words…may Allah accept from all of us..
      Honestly I doubt my writing most of the tym especially when I read other blogs..I feel like my writing is so pathetic compared to many others who are so eloquent mashallah..
      Ameen to those beautiful duas and really nice to hear that you’ve been reading all this from such a long tym…alhamdulillah…continue remembering me in ur pious duas

      • sister/in/Islam says:

        PATHETIC ??????!!!!!!!!
        Puhleeeeez !!
        *talk to the hand*

        Plz .. Never EVER doubt urself Mrs S …. We all LOVE the way u write – otherwise we wouldn’t b here reading …. N plz don’t compare urself wid any1 … Every1 has their own unique way of writing ….. Which appeals to their readers ..
        WE LOVE U *hugs*

        See .. Even I can write – lol

      • Lol…you’re right…maybe I should take my own advice…as I’ve mentioned in a previous post,don’t look at those who have reached the top of a mountain and decide that you can’t do it…
        We all forget and need people like you all to motivate us to continue..jx my beloved sister…*hug

  7. Slms Mashallah ur posts are excellent dont ever doubt youself u are doing a brilliant job May Allah accept & make it a means of guidance for the ummah 💚💛💜

  8. Masha Allah, really lovely. Been so hectic and my time is so limited, so maaf I haven’t commented in a while. Many women may disagree about the reading Salaah in the room at the harams but many Maulanas agree. Rather than go through all the pushing and risking touching ghair mahrams, it is a much better idea and reward. Few people know that the haram areas actually extend quite far out, and are not only restricted to the outdoors.
    Love the sacrifice that is shown here. Our girls today in SA would pack up and go to their parents. Allah guide us and give us the Yaqeen and abstinence of the Prophet (SAW) and his wives. Keep up your great efforts, sister. Love & Du’aas. Ma’asalaam!

  9. . says:

    Asalamu alaikum,
    i always love your posts and thoughts mashaAllah. Alhamdulilah i am doing well reg what i had previously mentioned,maybe i wont do well sometimes but make dua i never stop gettng up and gettng motivated and acting insh,i would like to commend you and sister admin on ur khatam challenge, i will join insh,just a question,i am sure imraan and his wife were white i think? And ismails adopted family was indian so how come he never questioned how was he diff from his fam? Maaf if im wrong

    • Alhamdulillah my dear sister..I’m so glad that everythings going good for thing that we all need to remember is that in lyf we all will fall…sometimes many tyms..but that should never make us feel despondent…we should rem that Allahs help is wth us as long as we try and are determined to do the ryt thing..
      We are not a failure for falling…we are a failure when we don’t get up and try again

      With regards to what you’ve asked…will deff bring that up in future post inshallah…;)jx

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