part 161:

Apas point of view:

Me:”assalaamu alaykum rashida….how are you?please come inside”

Rashida:”wa’laykum salaam….apa let’s not waste any time, you know exactly why I’m here…you’re probably wondering why I haven’t called you earlier but I had no idea about this….my son only mentioned it to me just before we came to madressah….”

Me:”oh…but I sent a letter with the girls yesterday….and I’ve been writing warnings regularly in their progress books…..”

Rashida:”(screaming) honestly, my life is too hectic and stressful to worry about silly progress books…I don’t have the time for all those petty things….anyway, I’m here just to inform you that I won’t be sending any of my kids back to madressah…..”

Me:”is this because of the suspension….?”

Rashida:”well…yes…what can I say…that has just drawn the line…I mean its not something you do…suspension is a major thing and because of that none of my kids want to come back…”

Me:”its none of my business, the choice is yours in the end of the day, but I’d like to just ask you….if yoiur kids come home oneday and tell you that they don’t want to go to school anymore, are you going to accept it?or are you going to force them to continue?”

Rashida:”(screaming) don’t bring in school to this….this has nothing to do with school….in school they don’t just suspend you for every little thing…they first give you warnings and then they embarrass you in assembly…”

Me:”ok so you prefer your child being embarrassed infront of the entire school over being suspended for a week from madressah where they have time to reflect on their behaviour?”

Rashida:”(screaming) you know I send my kids to a private madressah so that I don’t have to deal with all this nonsense that the main madressahs have….I don’t know whether all you apas and moulanas sit and discuss how to make our lives more and more difficult or what but its just not on…”

Me:”rashida, I have no conact with any of he other apas and moulanas….all I am trying to do here is encourage your children to act as muslims should, to perform atleast one salaah..they are both baaligh and by now salaah should be a part of their lives…the sin is now their responsibility for not performing salaah”

Rashida:”(screaming) well islam is not to be forced upon….islam is a complete way of life!”

Me:”islam is not to be forced upon a non-muslim….you totally misunderstand the statement….when they say islam is a complete way of life, then salaah should be apart of our lives by now…and yes, by the age of 10 if our children are not performing salaah then it should be forced upon them, they should be punished according to nabi(S.A.W) for it…”

Rashida:”(screaming)…you know I didn’t come her to listen to one long bayaan, I came here to tell you that my kids won’t be coming back to your madresah…and since I’m done telling you that……this conversation is over…..”

And with that she walked away with her 3 minions behind her and slammed the door closed….

All of this was infront of a class full of kids mind you….

I felt humiliated and frustrated..not so much because she had insulted me infront of my students, but rather because of what our world is coming to….

how do parents expect us to discipline the kids…..we aren’t allowed to hit….we not allowed to shout anymore, and now we’re not allowed to give merits and demerits…

So in my understanding, we as mu’allimahs are just fools, to be sitting infront of these rude kids who have absolutely no manners, our time must be spent in teaching them things that they are utterly not interested in….and we hae to just accept their pathetic behaviour…

I hate bringing in schools, but will this type of behaviour be tolerated in a school?

One of my other students didn’t come to madressah oneday, and when I asked him why he was absent the following day, he’s reply was: “I forgot to come to madressah”

Is that normal?can we forget such a thing?will we forget to go to school?even though we need to wake up from our deep sleep and sometimes in cold weather…but we don’t ever forget to wake up and go to school….

Another student remarked after I’d given him a demerit for not learning his work:”I don’t care about merits and demerits, I’m already spoilt and get whatever I want”

Is this the condition of our kids of today? I’m absolutely afraid to think about what this generation Is going to be like as adults…

The times are getting worse day by day…if we as parents don’t put our foot down and disciplone our kids, then who will?

Its not a childs fault for behaving the way he does…its a parents fault for not teaching him better than that…

We often hear parents complaining that “oh my child just doesn’t listen.he’s so stubborn and doesn’t stop throwing tantrums until he gets what he wants…”

But that’s a parents fault for giving in to his tantrums….if you give him a solid hiding and or ignore his tantrums once…it won’t continue…

A child needs to know the difference between parent and child…why is it that parents find it hard to tell their kids something?because they are too scared to tell their children?who is the parent?and who is the child?

Yes, have fun and joke and laugh with them, but in such a way that its still recognisable as to who the parent is and who the child is….

Me:”Anyway, I think this rashida woman really got me all worked up because now I’m busy giving you a big bayaan…(Sigh)…maaf faaiza”

Faaiza:”no apa, I totally understand, and I’d be just as angry if I were you…”

Me:”sometimes I feel I should just stop teaching when things like this happens, but you know, times are so tough and my husband doesn’t earn very well…”

Faaiza:”no apa, please don’t…you know, every child that comes to you learn something that they will use for the rest of their life….you are teaching kids the arabic alphabet and you are he foundation of their reading quraan….for the rest of their lives, whatever quraan they recite, be it even one word, you will receive the reward for it…..”


Authors note:
In the blog world page updated
Books I recommend updated
Jokes page updated
Pls advise about the challenge…whether u all think its a good idea or not as I haven’t rcvd any comments with regards to it…except for 1 like from sister amani…

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

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11 thoughts on “part 161:

  1. A says:

    ALLAHu Akbar!! I can truly understand how Apa must be feeling bcoz we regard school as the most important thing in our child’s life and Deen n Madrasa by the way then when they grow up as adults n dont know الله then we the first to cry bcoz the first rights they neglect are that of the parents

  2. sister/in/Islam says:

    Its a sad reality that muallima n muallima’s r put down n secular teachers r praised no matter how lazy they r !! ( I’m not putting teachers down , just trying to make a point – all people who impart knowledge r very important in our lives )

    Deen is supposed to b tawt from wen a child is born – by continuously reading all the duas , making the child aware of ‎​اللَّهُ and teaching den to start with bismilla , using right hand .. They may not start reading n doing things soo early – but it gets stored n wen they start talking den ‎​​​الحمد لله they rmb a lot ..

    May we put DEEN first b4 DUNYA !!!! ‎​​​​آمين

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  3. umm muhammed says:

    Unfortunately it is a reality in many madressas today, may ALLAH give us as parents the understanding how important the acquiring of knowledge of deen is.

    Also read Predestinedtobe.wordpress.com

  4. Rasidah doesn’t realize that her kids are learning from her actions, and in the future she’s going to be suffer cause they won’t have respect for her.

  5. zana says:

    My word rashida was really rude. But its a sad reality and many a person share her view. Not realizing our deen will take us futher

  6. Sister A. says:

    Rashida is a very arrogant & rude mother. Wat a BAD example 4 her children. Insted of sorting da problm out she made it worse & den ran away frm it. Hw r her children ever gona learn right frm wrong wid a mother like dat? Shame poor Aapa!

  7. aziza.H. says:

    Slmz,just started reading this blog a few days ago,and I have Sooooo much to catch up on,lol bt I just had to comment here especially regarding this topic of apa’s–i can totally relate to Apa as I run a pvt madrassah and so far I’ve had just one parent like Rashida,this post felt like it was me lol bt shukr it wasn’t done so rude like Rashida and not infront of a class bt the words were similar and yes its very sad that’s kids are so rude and blatant about not coming to madrassah and stay absent for such silly reasons,only Allah Ta’ala can grant hidaya and insha Allah through our efforts of doing deen,Allah Ta’ala let us be a means of hidayah to parents and kids and to their home and lifestyle changing to that of Quraan and Sunnah!

    • Jx so much sister for taking time out to read this blog… Hpe it can be of some benefit inshallah..
      Yes definitely this madressah issue is something that is really not taken seriously nowadays..its sad how people ill treat their ustaadhs, but I feel Allah will only reward us with the best for the sacrifices we make..inshallah..

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