part 181:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

The kids came back excitedly, both holding gift bags in their hands….

Imran had bought gifts for everyone in the house..

He bought a porcelain tea-set for raadiya..

A remote control motor-cycle for riyaad…

My kids were very happy as they hardly ever get gifts..well they’ve never really received any gifts from their ma and papa before…I don’t ever have money of my own so I can’t buy anything for them…ismail is too stingy to buy gifts for his kids…and we don’t believe in birthdays so basically the only people that ever do buy anything for my kids is dada and dadi…and now their dada too….

He bought A huge chocolate and nut parcel for dadi and dada…(Ismail mentioned to him on their first meeting yesterday that we’re living with my grandparents and we’re looking after them as they’re old)..

An extraordinary cutlery set for myself…

And He even bought ismail a gift…..wow….he bought him a digital quraan set…it was beautiful….it consisted of various reciters, one of which was ismails favourite qari abdul bassit…..and gives you the translation of the quraan aswel as the tafseer(commentary) of each verse….it also had a few ahaadith with meanings and the basic daily duas to recite, all with translation…

Ismail was chuffed…he looked like a kid who had been given a new toy…he was utterly impressed…

Me:”you really shouldn’t have done all this….”

Imran:”its all just something small…had to do some quick shopping this morning before I came and my gps directed me to the plaza in fordsburg…hectic place that, but atleast I didn’t come empty handed…”(He joked)…”Besides…..nabi(S.A.W) mentions to the effect that the giving of gifts increases love…”(Warm smile)

Me:”no really..its the thought behind it…you really didn’t have to…your coming all this way and giving us this great news is more of a gift to us than anything that money can buy”

imran:”honestly, I missed out on all of this for years…I may have moved on in my life..had my son and daughter and alhamdulillah Allah has brought us a long way and made things easy for us..but there was always that part missing in our lives and my wife maryam…ismails mum…and I…well…there hasn’t been a day in all these years that we hadn’t thought and made dua for his well being….its good to see that Allahs accepted that dua…..look at what a wonderful wife and loving family Allah has given you…”

Ismail shifted uncomfortably in his chair and just continued looking into his plate….

I knew exactly what he was thinking or feeling….but there’s no reason for him to feel sorry for himself anymore…this is the beginning of a great and brand new chapter of happiness in his life….I wish he’d see it that way….

Dada unintentionally broke the tension by changing the topic to what imran does for a living and basic london talks…dada and dadi had been a couple of times to london apparently so they could relate to a few things that imran spoke about..

It was lovely listening to him talk about his life…they may have had less in their lives..but they were content and so spiritually charged, it was something I admired and wished I too had….

We finished lunch and ate abit of a hot bread pudding for dessert….

While the men went to perform zuhr salaah in jamaa’ah, dadi and I cleared up the table and proceeded to perform our zuhr…

I joined them again in the lounge as soon as I’d completed my salaah…they were talking their own things….and the kids still hadn’t left their dadas side….

If you looked at them, they looked like one big happy family…

Imran then began telling us more about his family….about ismails mother and brother and sister….


Authors note:
Alhamdulillah we are on 4 khatams at the moment….if you can only manage a para at a time, then please do check out a journey in a journal’s quraan page..and you may add on which para you would like to commit yourself to for the next 2 weeks inshallah…and in that way we’ll be able to reach our goal of 319 by the end of sha’baan inshallah….just a month to go….we’ve already entered sha’baan…alhamdulillah!

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part 180:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

You know they say you get some people who are just the epitome of piety…their piety and noor shines right through and they automatically remind you of Allah?

Coming from ‘london’…I would have expected someone modern….less deeni…maybe that’s because I always just perceived london to be a mod place and so I just wrongly expect that everyone that comes from there to also be mod…but that’s totally my dumbness..lol…because I’m judging people because they come from a place that I’ve never even been to myself…that’s lower than low…I’m starting to become like those aunties in town who label everyone..

Well anyway, back to what I thought about imraan….a clean shaven, well dressed in a suit maybe…..half bald type of guy….

Well was I wrong…mashallah…this man was clared fully in sunnah attire…he wore a sunnah length crisp white kurta but was yet so neat, very fair in complexion with a charcoal grey full sunnah beard…a miswaak sticking out of his top pocket and I cannot believe the resemblance ismail has to him…

Well ofcourse he is his real father, but they were so identical, it was scary….

He was like ismail in a deeni version and a couple of many years older….

That’s what ismail meant when he said ‘this man looked so familiar but couldn’t place where he’d seen him’

That’s because duh,,,,he looked exactly like ismail….

The minute I entered the room, he stood up out of respect for a simple person like me?wow! And he had a broad smile across his face which could have brightened up anyones day…

Imran:”assalaamu alaykum….faaiza I presume?”

Me:”err..wa’alaykum salaam….jee..I’m so glad you’ve made it over…its so good to see you..did you manage to find the house nicely?”

Imran:”alhamdulillah…Allah has granted man a great gift of intellect….(Pulling out his GPS from his pocket and waving it in the air)…thanks to this nag woman who keeps nagging me to turn right….turn right…”

We all giggled….he already broke the ice….as tense as the situation ought to be…this mans great ways just melted all the tension away…

Imran:”ismail not around?”

I just adored the way he said ismail….just the way we’re supposed to say it…is maa eel….beautiful!

Me:”he should be back anytime..he just went to fetch the kids from school quickly….”

We chatted abit about the kids and everything in general….I brought a bowl of chevro that dadi made and served it to him while we waited for the main person to this whole story to return…

When they finally arrived, the kids rushed in eagerly to meet the new visitor…I later found out that they were so excited, they told everyone at school that their dada was here to visit them all the way from london…yikes!let’s hope the ‘wicked’ lot don’t get the news as yet….

Raadiya, who’s usually the more reserved and quiet of the twins, and who’s also very choosy with who she gets close to, surprisingly sat with imran from the time she entered the house and wouldn’t leave his side for a minute even…

Riyaad was overjoyed aswel, but found imrans accent more amusing than anything…

Remember that my kids don’t watch TV so this was their first time that they’ve ever heard someone talking with this type of accent…they’re accustomed to ‘flat’ south african english, boere afrikaans and the few african dialects…so the wha’ and tha’ and ha’ and fa’ accent was absolutely fascinating…it really is!

Even ismail seemed to be enjoying himself with his new-found father…well he wasnt all fatherly, they spoke like old buddies but everything was going quite smoothly alhamdulillah…

I couldn’t help but ponder about the ‘so-called’ inlaws…how I never in my 7 years of marriage seen this type of bonding and peace. Its always been a cold atmosphere with them….very icy actually….

And my ‘so called’ father in law and I have NEVER had a decent conversation with eachother EVER…and here..I know this man for less than 24 hours and the conversation seems to flow from one thing to another…

Dadi announced that the food was ready and that we should all move over to the dining room..imran excused himself and said that he’d forgotten something in the car and that he’d join us shortly, however the kids just wouldn’t let him go and joined him while we all continued to the dining room to sit down for a scrumptious lunch…


Authors note:
Ok ok…..I’m REALLY very sorry for the late post…busy busy busy day…but rather late than never right?;)
And tomorrow I MAY be late again..but I’ll definitely post one inshallah as soon as I’m abit free…

Alhamdulillah we are on 4 khatams at the moment….if you can only manage a para at a time, then please do check out a journey in a journal’s quraan page..and you may add on which para you would like to commit yourself to for the next 2 weeks inshallah…and in that way we’ll be able to reach our goal of 319 by the end of sha’baan inshallah….

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 179:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

In life we go through things just to make us stronger as human beings…little do we actually realise that our entire life has already been written out for us by Allah long before our existence….

We move through life, frustrating ourselves over certain situations when inevitably its all been set out and what’s meant to happen will happen….actually….some things we don’t even imagine to happen in our lives…but Allah knows what we don’t know….He is The Most Wise and The All Knowing…

Ismails life was an example of this…just a year ago, he would never have even imagined his life to be the way it is today…

I woke up the next morning as nervous as ever….why?I have no idea….its not like I’m meeting my own father or something, but it all was just so exciting….

Ismail on the other hand was as emotionless as always….he didn’t look one bit nervous or excited…

While getting the kids ready for school I explained to them that we’ll be having a guest over when they return from school later…

Me:”so you see, dada and dadi are MY dada and dadi…they are my daddys mummy and daddy…but today, you’re going to meet your own dada…”

Riyaad:”so a dadi and dada are your daddys mummy and daddy?”

Me:”aha”

Riyaad:”but aren’t ma and papa our daddys mummy and daddy….”

Me:”umm…yes but….daddy has 2 mummys and 2 daddys….”

How in the world was I supposed to explain this messed up situation to 6 year olds?gosh…people can complicate life for the innocent…

Riyaad:”whoah”

Raadiya:”really?where does he live mama?”

Me:”in london….”

Raadiya:”wheres that mama?”

Me:”its across the world somewhere sweetheart…very very far away…”

Riyaad:”and he came all the way, so faaaar away just to visit us?”

Me:”yes, he’s very excited to see you kiddos”

Raadiya:”do we have a dadi also?”

Me:”yes….but she’s still in london…she’s sick so she couldn’t come with…you must make dua that she gets better ok?”

The kids were getting late so I sent them off to school….

Ismail didn’t go to work and returned after dropping the kids off…

Ismail:”what am I supposed to talk to the man about?”

Me:”just be casual babes..its not a formal meeting or something….you don’t have to prepare some major speech…just be yourself and make him feel at home”

Ismail:”ya its easy for you to say…its very awkward for me, you don’t understand…eish!”

Dadi and I prepared a lovely lunch and had the table set and ready by around 12 already as he messaged to say that he’s on his way and will be here shortly…

Ismail had to fetch the kids from school and luckily this morning apa called to say that she wasn’t fEeling well and they didn’t have to attend madressah…..

The intercom buzzed just after ismail left….I was hyperventilating….it was him…he was here already…crap!what was I going to do with him….?I was hoping that ismail would be back by the time he gets here….

I opened the gate and called dada to welcome him in….

I could hear that chatting outside..dada had a very warm and welcoming character…anyone who met him for the first time would feel as if though they’d known him for years….

Daddy was just like dada…a very loving man with excellent character…what can I say? like father, like son….

I wonder if I could say the same about ismail and imran…

Dada seated him in the lounge and called me from the kitchen….

I fixed my scarf As I walked into the lounge ready to greet and I was absolutely shocked at the figure that stood infront of me..imraan was nothing that I had expected…….infact he was the total opposite of what I’d thought him to be….


Authors note:
Jazakallah so much to all of you for the duas yesterday and for being so understanding…alhamdulillah with all the duas of you wonderful people I am feeling a little better today…there’s a terrible bug in the air here in gauteng at the moment so please do be careful and recite the following dua:
“Bismillahillathee laa yadhurru ma’a ismihi shayun fil ardi wa laa fis samaa’ee wahuwas samee’ul aleem”

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

apologies

Assalaamu alaykum everyone…

Please make me maaf, they may be no post today as I’m not feeling too well…..

Inshallah as soon as I feel better I’ll try to resume posting

Maaf for the inconvenience and jazakallah for understanding…

Walaykumus salaam….

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 178:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

Who ever said that a woman can’t make a difference?who ever said that a woman is useless?

Islam treats a woman with so much of respect and honour…..

There were so many women in the history of islaam that held great positions and made positive differences….

Hazrat khadija(R.A)…the first wife and companion of the beloved prophet(S.A.W) was such a pillar of strength to him in his most difficult of times….she assisted him financially, she gave him a shoulder when he needed, she looked after him, bore him strong and pious children…..she loved him unconditionally and supported his every decision…..she gave him courage when he needed it the most…

And how did Allah honour her for that?she was the first woman in the history of islam that Allah sent salaams directly to….

Not because of her beauty, not because of her wealth, not because of her status, not because of the way she dressed, not because of what she possessed…but just because of her piety and her standing by her husband all the time…..

Its from here that I have decided to stand by ismail no matter what….he may have some nasty characteristics…..but on a whole, he was human, he had imaan, he was muslim……and most importantly, Allah had joined us as one…..

So I’ve decided, that wherever he appears weak and unable to handle a situation, I will take control and make things easier for him…

ismail:”what are you going to tell him babes?”

Me:”don’t worry….just leave it to me……please give me his number…”

Ismail:”(scrolling down his phone)….this is the number he said he’ll be using during his stay here in jhb……but wait…please….I’m going outside to smoke while you talking to him…I don’t want to be here….”

Me:”why not?(Giggle)”

Ismail:”because…..just…..its awkward..you don’t understand…..”

I found ismails reaction amusing….but I respected that……

Me:”assalaamu alaykum”

A man with a soft but heavy british accent answered…..

Me:”err…..my name is faaiza…..umm…..ismails wife…maaf to trouble you…are you busy at the moment?should I call you another time?”

Imran:”no no….not at all……I can talk…..how are you?”

Me:”alhmadulillah I’m well and how are you doing?”

Imran:”I’m great thanks……how are the children doing?”

Me:”alhamdulillah, they’re good….getting big and naughty….(Pause)….it would be great if you could meet them inshallah…I’m sure they’ll love their dada….”

Imran:”(quiet)…..I know it must be something really hard for you all to accept…and the only thing that’s been playing in my mind ever since I seen ismail is why have I been such a coward?why didn’t I just make the effort earlier…..?”

Me:”no…don’t blame yourself….Allah knows why certain things happen…..we’re just glad that its all out now……rather late than never….imagine ismail living his entire life and not knowing this…?so we’re actually really happy that you’ve taken this step…look, I’ve actually called to invite you home…..please come over tomoRrow for lunch…you can meet the family….”

Imran:”alhamdulillah beti……may Allah reward you for your good intentions, honestly, you don’t know what it means to me….I came all this way not knowing what to expect…I expected to be shunned or treated like a criminal..honestly I expected the worst…and those few words of yours has really made things easy….the fact that you have accepted me after all that I’ve done….”

Me:”this has nothing to do with me really…..it has to do with ismail…why should I have anything against you?I feel a lot of good can come out this…ismail needs the comfort and love of a good family……”

Imran:”would it be possible for you to text me your address…..? What time should I come through? I don’t want to inconvenience you in any way”

Me:”no inconvenience at all…..definitely I’m send you the adress….you welcome at any time……whatevers suitable for you….ismail will be home aswel tomorrow inshallah….”

Imran:”once again, jazaakallah so much for all this..I really really appreciate it”


Authors note:
Q&A page updated
ALHAMDULILLAH….we have reached 2 quraan khatams with the mercy of Allah….I won’t mention the names of whoever makes the khatams incase they wish to remain anonymous…however, this is such a great achievement..may Allah accept from these readers and grant us the ability to practice on everything mentioned in quraan inshallah…
Remember that making a khatam of the quraan is an action so loved by Allah and the angels kiss the person who has made the khatam in-between their eyes….mubarak to you sisters…..

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part 177:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

Me:”so now dada we have no idea what to do…..”

Dada was silent and expressionless after I sat over an hour trying to explain to him about the entire situation that we’re faced with…I couldn’t tell what he was thinking……all he did was brush his big, fat, white beard with his fingers…..

After much contemplation he finally started talking….
Dada:”firstly beti……both you and ismail, read 2 rakaats of salaatul haajaat…at the end of which you ask Allah for His guidance and help…..continue reciting the istikhaarah dua…”Allaahumma khirli wakhtarli”…..but no doubt, the best thing to do is to join ties with his newfound family……life is short….and knowing that his life could be in danger, imraan still made an effort to find ismail……so that alone shows how important this is to him……”

Its true……imran and his family probably really love and care about ismail….to travel all the way and risk his life and whatever little he may have, just to find his son…..

Now that just shows that they are true family…unlike these rotten dogs that don’t even care about ismail, even though they live in the same town…

Me:”but dada, what about these rotten people?”

Dada:”the fact that they took ismail in and looked after him all these years, sheltered him, clothed him, fed him……ismail shouldn’t be bad to them you know…ismail needs to be the better one beti…..whatever they have done, they will have to deal with Allah about it…Allah is Most just….he will sort them out in the best possible manner…all I can say is that I hope they repent and regret sincerely what they’ve done inshallah beforE their eyes close oneday…”

Me:”but dada they weren’t even good to him…they really damaged him and ruined his life”

Dada:”beti…..so did the kuffaar to our beloved prophet(S.A.W)…..what torment and torture and humiliation didn’t he go through……but he always found it in his heart to forgive for the pleasure of Allah…..(Pause)…look my child…its never easy to forgive the hurt someone has caused you…..and Allah knows that…that’s why the reward for the one who forgives is so great….”

Me:”and what about what they could do to imraan dada?”

Dada:”beti, over 30 years ago there were no proper systems…..and after so many years I doubt they could have the little piece of paper with them…..ismail is an adult now….when he was a kid, it was probably just a threat to imran….nothing more….tawakkal alallaah…trust in Allah…..Allah is always with those who do good…..”

Me:”so you’re saying that they really can’t do anything to imraan?”

Dada shook his head convincingly….

Dada:”life is too short beti….ismail needs to go and see his mother, his family…try to mend things before its too late…..why don’t you call him over…discuss things with him….our doors are open my child….”

Dada is such an amazing person….his advice is so valuable….and has so much of wisdom behind it….

Ismail remained stuck in the room…he didn’t want to see or speak to anyone…he didn’t want to eat, so I made him a toasted sandwich instead and took it up to the room…..I conveyed to him whatever dada had said…..

Ismail:”unfortunately I can’t forgive them…I never will……I’ve decided that since they aren’t my parents….I’m cutting them out of my life completely…..I need to take control of my life……they can go to hell for all I care……”

Me:”in the end of the day, its all upto you love….and you know I’ll stand by you throughout it all…I love you…and I’ll support you all the way…”

Ismail:”and as for imraan…I don’t know….you don’t understand..its not easy for a guy, after so many years to just accept the fact that you’ve got another family and just be all happy and jump straight into things….”

Me:”but babes…what if something happens to errr….your….err mother……won’t you regret?or feel bad that you never made any effort to fix things?or re-unite?”

Ismail:”I don’t know……..I’m numb….I don’t really care about anything really….I’ve been through enough already”

Me:”ok fine….if you don’t want to, then I will…..give me imraans number……”


Authors note:
Inspirations page updated
Hazrat adam(A.S)’s page updated

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part 176:

‘Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem’
(In the name of Allah, the Most kind, The Most Merciful)

I just listened very curiously….

Ismail continued:
“He’s quite a friendly uncle….he had abit of an accent, like a british accent….he asked the secretary for me and when he walked in he looked abit familiar but I couldn’t place who he was at all…..I thought maybe we did business together in the stationery shop because he knew my father….”

Me:”so then?who is he?what did he come to talk about”

Ismail:”babes he knows me…..more than I’d expected him to know me…he told me when I was born…my exact date of birth…..(Throwing the pillow hard)….they lied to me baby…my whole life they lied to me….I will never forgive them,,they ruined me”

Me:”who babes?what are you talking about?who lied to you….?”

I just couldn’t understand what ismail was talking about….

Ismail:”those freaking dogs that abused me my entire life and took away every bit of my self esteem……they aren’t my parents fay….imraan is my father…..”

Me:”WHAT?????(I screamed)”

I couldn’t believe my ears…I couldn’t imagine what ismail was feeling…having being lied to your entire life and when you’re a father yourself, having to find out that your entire life was just a lie…..

I guess it would be different if they were good to him and treated him with extreme love and compassion…

But these people broke him, didn’t bring him up well and to think that they’re not even his own…

He was a trust unto them….and they didn’t fulfill their trust….the more I want to have good thoughts about them, the more I discover what evil and nasty people they really are….

And all this time I thought that I had it bad for not having parents, but here’s ismail who has 2 sets of parents and yet his entire life is totally screwed up….

Ismail:”apparently my mother and father were married very young…my mother fell pregnant soon after but they couldn’t afford me..they were extremely poor …they had no choice but to put me up for adoption..they didn’t want me to suffer..that wanted me to have better in my life and they couldn’t give me that….my ‘so called mother’ couldn’t have children again after rukaya..she had some medical issues and had a hysterectomy done after she gave birth to rukaya…apparently after a few years they desperately wanted a son, so they applied to adopt at the same time and I was given over to them….”

Me:”oh my word…..that’s why the big gap between you and rukaya!….it makes so much of sense…(Pause)..but why didn’t he come back earlier?to tell you atleast?why now….30 something years later?

Ismail:”because the *#@+ made him sign a contract with them….that I will live with them as their own son and my parents are never allowed to ever contact me or ever have anything to do with me again in their lives….they must forget that they ever had me….or else, they’ll have my father locked up…..”

Me:”oh my word….they are worse than I thought them to be….this is crazy…”

Ismail:”and now he came back, because my mothers not well…she’s on her last….or so the doctors say…and her wish is to find me and know if I’m okay..she wants to see me before she goes…”

Me:”baby..that is so sad…(I hug him)….so where are they now?”

Ismail:”they live in england….but he’s staying at a hotel in jhb for the time being….he came to find me”

Me:”and your..err…mother..is she still in london?who’s looking after her?”

Ismail:”umm….they had another son and daughter a few years later when they were financially stable, so they’re with her at the moment..looking after her…”

Me:”(smile) so you have a brother?and a sister?(Giggle)”

Pause…

Me:”(serious)why don’t you tell imr…err…your father to come over…..?he can stay here babes..he doesn’t have to stay in a hotel…what must the poor man be eating and stuff…?”

Ismail:”I don’t know..its just abit much..its awkward…imagine finding out now?how can I face these rubbish’s?I hate them….they wrecked my life and abused me when I wasn’t even their own child…what must I do?what do you think?must I confront them about it?but what if they lock him up?or do something to him?”

Me:”there’s no such a thing…..they can’t….we’ll get someone involved and make sure they don’t…..its years ago..I’m sure they’ve got no proof of that stupid contract…”

Ismail:”I really don’t know how to handle this whole situation baby….how do I go about everything….”

Me:”give yourself some time to think things through…its just one big shock and something really new….should I speak to dada maybe?he’s wise and always knows what the right thing would be to do…..but for now…turn to Allah….make dua and read 2 extra rakaa’ahs of salaatul haajat(salaah in the time of need)…..and ask Allah to do what’s best inshallah”


Authors note:
This post was especially dedicated to puma girl for going the extra mile just to read every post of this blog…..jx sooo much…

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