part 142:

Authors note:
This post is actually scheduled for tomorrow(monday) but I decided to be a little generous and give it to you 3 hours earlier.. 🙂

The venue was set up in such a beautiful way that there was a separate entrance for ladies and a separate entrance completely for men…

As we entered the ladies entrance, it was very simply set centre pieces…all in rust and a deep red and a tinge of gold here and there…

The tables were set in plain white table cloths and white chair backs with an occasional tie back on certain chairs in either rust or red…The serviettes matched the same colours aswel….

There was a long table in the centre from one end to the other which indicated a buffet set-up…yippee…that meant no waiters…

And the best part of it all was that there was no stage…..I hate being centre of attention….my table…namely ‘the main table’ was set randomly on the one side of the place…not infront of everyone..just like a normal table mixed in the crowd sort of…

Aqeel walked me in and we stopped to greet my grand mothers, mummy and aqeels mum before he escorted me to the main table…

Aqeel:(giving me a peck on my cheek)”enjoy! And don’t miss me too much”

Me:”huh?what do you mean?(Confused)”

Aqeel:”you don’t expect me to sit in the ladies section sweetheart….I know you’ll miss me but absence makes the heart grow fonder(wink)”

that made sense..usually, even if people have separate functions, the groom still sits with the bride…infront of all the women..what about those women that are in hijaab or niqaab…how do we expect them to sit the entire function through with their hijaab and niqaab on just because of one man…

Yes it is his wedding after all but that doesn’t mean that he gets to be on show infront of other women…

Its sad how so many weddings will have such a huge do and have a small little section for the ‘holy ones’ or the ‘moulanas’ or ‘the purdah section’ as they call it….when actually…we are muslim….rather have the entire function accommodated for those who choose to fulfill their islamic duties and put the rest of the immoral and under-dressed in a separate section…doesn’t that make more sense…

Funny how our morals and priorities have all been totally mixed up…we need to screw our heads on properly…

It is my walima…but aqeel and I are going to be spending the rest of our lives together inshallah…so whats 2-3 hours without him going to do to me?I will survive and live…

Atleast I get to spend my time with my best friends and family…anyone was allowed to sit at my table….ofcourse fay was there and a couple of my cousins pulled their chairs to join also…it was so different and cool at the same time..atleast I wasn’t centre of attention again…

Walking in was alone such a terrible task….gosh, the stares I was getting from everyone, wondering if I was going to walk any differently today…what in the world do people think?or rather, is that ALL that people can think about..what do they expect…a couple that didn’t know anything about eachother are suddenly going to jump into things already on the first night?

We need to get to know eachother first, get comfortable with and around eachother before doing anything…

Islam is so beautiful and teaches a man not be like an animal towards his wife…compassion is a very vital trait in a muslim…..and no ‘man’ will be so harsh to force anything upon his shy bride on the first night ofcourse….

We all got comfortable and I took out my scarf and cape since it was completely separate….I noticed a few of my aunts take off their cloaks and purdah aswel….everyone was so comfortable and enjoying the fact that they could be free for once at a function…that took advantage and most of the ladies did their hair and wore stunning outfits…

I must say, we usually look down upon these ladies for dressing the way they do…but honestly I admire them after looking at them today…they have the choice to dress like this all the time, yet they choose to cover up…and the days they do get to dress up..we can really appreciate their beauty mashallah….I wish that oneday I too have the courage to dawn the niqaab…it is what Allah expects from us but I don’t want to rush into it and then take it off again..if I do it, it must come from deep in my heart and then I don’t ever want to take it off again….

Anyway..back to my walima……how I drift from one thing to another is beyond me…

My cousin rumana who pulled up her chair last to join us decided to ask me a question that left me absolutely annoyed….



25 thoughts on “part 142:

  1. Unknown says:

    Mashallah so nice when functions are compl separate -so much more barakah- walima is a sunnah and then we lose reward by Making it a mixed gathering

  2. sister/in/islam says:

    Its soo nyc that everything is separate … Makes things more comfy !! And all the blk abaya’s can come of n the glitery n shimeries can show ….

    Yes Salma !!! We won’t make u feel out of place and won’t ask any rude questions…. Its UR life n NO ONE needs to know abt it ….

    Hmmm …. Some ppl can put u in the eye … Now wat does dis cuzn need to know *inquisitive gal*

    ‎​​​​جزاك الله

  3. Unknown says:

    Do u tink we will get another post any time soon or am i pushing my luck- lol jus joking- 😀😊lookin forward to next post

  4. A says:

    Now y did Aqeel have to walk into the ladies section ? Couldn’t he have just left Salma to Fay or aunty fati *wink*
    Shukr for highlighting the importance of separate functions bcoz today wen u go to a function u wish u rather stayed at home with all the mixing of the men n women
    Also جزاك الله خيرا for highlighting the most important thing i.e. ppl don’t need to know whether a marriage ws consummated or not, that’s bedroom matters n should stay in the bedroom
    Wonder what Rumanah wants to know…..

  5. Binte Ahmed says:

    Love this post!!! The issues uv highlighted here r so relevant n mixed gatherings n a tiny box in the corner for the maulanas n purdah a “commentators box” as Mufti Menk says lol..ulama especially shudnt even attend such gatherings coz then the awaam(general ppl) will hav the chance to point fingers n say,”so n so alim was there so y cnt we go”..
    The best thing to do would b to boycott these weddings completely,to make them realise theyr doin sumthin wrong..lets join hands n support this cause 😛 lol..Allah save us all..ameenXxX

    • Luv that….I’m with u on that…I myself am in purdah and wouldn’t like to be shoved to one section like I’m some kind of interruption to the decor…
      Lucky for me, I hardly ever get invited to weddings…

  6. Sister A. says:

    Imprtnt point made abt functions been seperate. We ӑℓℓ know dat its not permissable 4 us Muslims 2 hav mixed gatherings. Wen 1 plans on inviting ppl °̩и Hijaab & niqaab 2 his/her function, 1 shud respect dem & accomodate dem by having it completely seperate. No point °̩и getin upset wen dey don’t attend da function °̩и which Ʋ went abt doin things da wrong way.
    Wen things wer running smoothly sum1 had 2 cum & spoil da mood. Wunder wat Roomaana asked Salma. Few thoughts cumin 2 mind now. Will hav 2 wait & c.

    • Excellent way of putting it…its so true that when people don’t want to attend because of how things are being done,,we take major offence and think we did them a major favour by inviting them in the first place..

  7. sister/in/Islam says:

    It makes it more realistic wen u add things like him walking her in2 the hall – and him talking to Fay ( I know its all wrong ) … But mayb ‎​​إنشاءالله Lata dey can look bak and say – I shudnt hav done that cos its not rite ….. U can’t make dem perfect in the readers eyes cos den ppl will feel , they soo good and only do the rite thing , n it won’t b soo realistic ( I hope u understand wat I mean )

    I too am in purda ‎​​​الحمد لله … And think its soo odd wen the groom sits in a hall full of women .. Its his first few hours of married life , n a hall full of ladies r ‘cheking’ him out – makes u wonder !!! I wud think its more sensible for him to b wid his friends n cuzns for those few hours cos den his life will b different afta .. Hahahah

    I once told my husband , why do men come to the ladies section ?? – do u see ladies going in2 the mens section ?? They just spoil the whole mood … Mayb I shud get a guy to wear a cloak n purda n go in2 the mens section – n see the reaction n comments that come afta !!!!! Lol

    • Lol…..think you should try that oneday…lol….just let me know when so I can be there to see the commotion…

      Yes you’re right…I nEed this blog to be as realistic as possible…..I can’t make them perfect because the truth is, no-one is perfect..every person has flaws and does atleast one or two things wrong but I agree that I can mention that its wrong etc etc

    • Yip it annoys me too..people carry on like we are making them uncomfortable whereas as muslims we all supposed to be in purdah anyway…and we try everything not to inconvenience anyone..I sometimes don’t understand how its affecting them that our faces are covered

  8. Slm
    Jazakallah for this amazing blog… I’m constantly cheking to see if there’s a new post and my husband says I’m lyk a drug addict suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

    Can’t w8 to c wwt rumana has to say…

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