Salmas point of view:
I cannot believe that this weekend was supposed to be my nikaah..I was finally supposed to be married and instead, my fiance is now enjoying himself with the hoors(damsels) of jannah whilst I’m stuck in this world and back to square one….
Aunty saabira really got me thinking..she was such a kind and wonderful woman….I wouldve had an amazing mother in law if I’d married goolam…but I guess Allah knows best…..
While driving back home with fay and ismail….we were chatting when ismail and fay had abit of their own moment…ismail has changed so much..the ismail I once knew would have been quite rude to fay..yet he the words he chose to admonish her..was rather frank but worth thinking about…
I sat alone at the back wondering if I’ll ever have this type of relationship in my life..will I ever have someone by my side to rectify me when I’m wrong and share in my happiness when things are good..?will I ever know what its like to be loved unconditionally by someone else?
I dreaded going home…my mothers going to start her nonsense again about doing the samoosa runs…she’s going to insist on me marrying just any tom, dick, harry or sally that comes by…..gosh!I’m not in the mood for that….
We were almost home when I received a random sms from a number I didn’t have saved….
I looked at the number a few times and couldn’t for the life of me think who this could be..I saved almost every number that called me ever or that I thought was important..so who in the world could this be smsng me this time of the night?
The message read:
“Slmz salma.heard about what happened.may Allah make it easy for you and grant you the best partner in the world to complete you.Allah has a plan for everything that happens..just know that.wslm..AQEEL”
I was shocked…..aqeel?where in the world did he get my number from?and oh my god…….he actually messaged……
Ugh what is wrong with me?I just lost my fiance today and I’m busy thinking about how sweet another guy is….this is the height of desperation and frustration….
You should know by now what a stress pot I am…I started stressing about whether or not I should reply to his message…
Would it be regarded as a sin if I just sent a simple smiley face even?and if I don’t..will he think I’m rude?
Maybe I still have a chance with him…oh no..my parents will freak out..he was married before….
But mum knew the whole story…she heard it from the horse’s mouth literally, so they knew he wasn’t wrong..they know that noori was a…you know what…
What am I even thinking?it was just a simple message…to ask if I was ok and to offer his condolences…not a damn proposal….and I’m busy jumping the gun here..
Nobody else seems really bothered about how this whole goolam thing had affected me..I guess everyones so shocked that he passed away, they’ve forgotten that I was ready to get married….
Faaiza turned to ask me if I was ok….I just gave her a simple hmmm….cos I truly wasn’t….she doesn’t possibly expect me to tell her….like no fay..ofcourse I’m not…its supposed to be a day or 2 before my wedding..I’m supposed to be putting mehndi for goodness sake and here I am returning from my damn fiances funeral….(sarcastic)….oh and to add to that…a guy I once wished would actually propose….just smsd me at this very odd hour to offer his condolences….(Rolling eyes)
Ok ok..I know fays worried..she knows me better than anyone else….I’m sure she’ll gun me down tomorrow to find out why I was so quiet the whole way home….or rather halfway home…after ismail shut us up about judging everyone…
I’m a mess…..my lifes ‘forever a mess’….freak!my bags are even packed, parcels are made…..my outfits been altered and changed about 7 times already just so it fits me perfect….and now…I’ve got everything ready but no freaking husband…..
I think I’m just really tired…..and my heads spinning…and aqeels message just made me more crazy……I was about to type a reply when ismail stopped infront of my house to drop me off….