part 114

AT THE MAYYIT-part 2

Aunty Saabira:”assalaamu alaykum my bachu….(Hugging salma)…how you doing ma?”

Salma:”I should be asking you aunty saabira…how you holding up?may Allah make it easy for you people all and grant him jannatul firdous inshallah…”

Aunty S:”you know these tears I shed(wiping away a tear from her cheek)..these are tears of joy…my goolam is in such a better place now….he has nothing to account for…he had changed his life so much and become a complete muttaqi(Allah fearing person)…not only that..but he is the cause of us all changing our lives in this house and coming on to deen(religion)…and he paSsed away as a shaheed…what more could we ask for?”

Me:”you’re so strong aunty saabira..mashallah…wish we all could be so strong…”

Aunty S:”goolam always used to say when things got tough for him that a true believer is one who makes sabr immediately when they’ve been afflicted with difficulty…not after days and days and after things have cooled down…..that’s not sabr”

That’s so true….and when a beloved is taken away and a person has sabr…allah sends peace unto that person and mercy and they are the blessed ones of Allah…..Allah praises such a person in the heavens to all the angels….

Aunty saabira asked us to sit and read some yaaseen for him…and there were paras of the quraan…if possible we should try and read for him as much as possible….

She obviously went to sit in a little room where the mayyit was kept…surprisingly there was a sign on the door…the sign read:
“Kindly be advised that only the mahrams of the mayyit may enter this room…no naa mahrams allowed whatsoever…”

Normally, people don’t care about these things…anyone and everyone just sit near the mayyit, not realising how haraam this is…

Since we were of no connection to goolam, salma and I moved to the larger lounge and took a seat on the grey blankets that were laid down…

there were ladies of all ages sitting in the lounge with us…most of them either had tasbeehs in their hands, since there were no beads to found like there is at most mayyits..others had yaaseens or a para and others just sat idle…but almost every group of ladies were chatting away and whispering while reading…

This got me thinking..we want to make a couple of khatams(completions) of the quraan, yet half the people are not even reading correctly..talking inbetween and not even reciting ta’awwuth again before carrying on for another 5 minutes and then putting in a word or 2 to the person next to them….

I noticed a couple of ladies with their tasbeehs who were reading away and turning beads so fast, I could not for the life of me understand what in the world they could be reading so fast…even if they were making thikr of the word Allah, it was way too fast…

Then in one corner was a group of teenage girls, whispering and giggling to eachother..2 of them typing away on their cellphones….

Another few ladies walked in..probably a mother and 2 daughters…the mother had such an expensive looking abaya on…..it was dazzling so much that we’d be able to notice her even if the lights were all switched on….

The daughters abayas were tailored to perfection…the one had her abaya lifted up enough for us to see her tightly fitted jeggings under while the others abaya was open in the front and the most revealing clothes to be seen under….

All 3 of them had the huge camel hump on their heads with abit of their fringe sticking out in the front….

I watched as they carefully sat down, quite aware that they’d brought so much attention to themselves but pretending as if they hadn’t noticed everyone staring at them….

They picked up a yaaseen and began reading while occasionally glancing around the room to see who was there and who wasn’t….

Allahu akbar I thought….what if this was my mayyit?is this how people are going to be praying for me?is that what a mock we’ve made of islam?we want to practice islam in the way that suits us best…we read quraan with our hair sticking out….we reading the quraan while infact the quraan is cursing us….

Because clearly the quraan talks about modesty…the quraan talks about attracting attention and how haraam it is for a woman to leave her home dressed in the most inappropriate way that draws so much of attention…

We fool ourselves into believing that we are dressed islamicly…that we are covered and in hijaab….but are we really?

If nabi(S.A.W) had to stand infront of us right now, would he be pleased with the way we’re dressed and with our behaviour?

A mayyit is supposed to be a place of contemplation….a place where we start to take stock of our lives and realise that we could be next…

Some of the ladies had so much of perfume on that it could be smelt from a mile away…and to think that they had to walk past all those men at the entrance…and nabi(S.A.W) had warned us that if a woman applies perfume and walks past a group of men who smell her fragrance..she is regarded as an adulterer…

Imagine if someone had to call us a slut/prostitute or whore to our faces…..we would be enraged…..yet here nabi(S.A.W)..the best of creation…who never had a bad word for anyone is called us the above mentioned words…..

I made a firm intention in my heart to try and start wearing abaya full time….inshallah…and I would really love to go into purdah….but I don’t know how ismail would react to it….

I sighed and got up to fetch a yaaseen instead..all of this was too much for me and it pained me dearly…

Just as I was about to sit down I heard some commotion coming from near the room where the mayyit was kept….

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30 thoughts on “part 114

  1. A says:

    الحمد لله u r back to normal with ur posts n ur blog sorted out
    It’s so true that mayyit a have bcom a fashion show where ppl dress more to impress n show off
    Hope this blog goes from strength to strength in highlighting the wrongs of our society آمين

    • Alhamdulillah…shukr…thanks to all of u for making so much dua….
      Inshallah…it just shows that wrongs on our society are so many…everyday there’s something new to discuss and yet we haven’t even reached 10% of it

  2. sister/in/islam says:

    Absolutely relatable topic !! We all really need to take heed bcos dis is a common error in all mayyits

    جَزَاكَ اللهُ خَيْرًا 
 ┉┈┈┈♡♡ -̶̯͡┈̥⌣̊°˚
    For reminding us

    • If each one of us reading this blog can start with these little little things…..inshallah our society can change…from what I’ve been noticing….alhamdulillah I’ve been getting over 6000 views daily…that means aprox 6000 people can definitely make a difference in the ummah

  3. As salaamu alaykum

    Glad to see you have your site working again!

    You’ve addressed some very pertinent issues in this post, and other posts as well, its nice how you incorporate this into your story. May Allah keep you steadfast and guide all of us to gain a better understanding of Islam and to practise it in a way in which Allah will be pleased with, Inshaa Allah.

  4. a95r says:

    Its really sad the way some people behave at mayyits. You think to yourself, there is a mayyit right there, this is a time to ponder over death Are you ready to die? And there are people giggling away yet nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم advised us against excessive laughter and he صلى الله عليه وسلم said something to the effect ‘remember death more often, you will laugh less’.
    If you can’t contemplate over death and the qabr then, then when will you?
    May Allah grant us all death with kalimah on our tongues, whilst He is pleased with us. آمين.

  5. a95r says:

    And جزاك اللهُ خيراً author for all your effort and for sorting out the problem. :). And for the reminders and advice.

  6. umme says:

    Soo true and sad that these things really do happen at a mayyit house. Allah taala cleansed Gulaam from his sins before he can meet his creator. How fortunate he is ,he’s nikaah will be made in jannah.patience is beautiful. Auntry Sabera is soo strong.

  7. sister/in/islam says:

    It was very sad @ a recent mayyit I attended – BORN muslim ladies – all ages – were yapping away – and a ReVERT blk muslim lady had2 remind dem where dey were – she told dem cover ur hair – and hav respect for mayyit !!!! wat a disgrace we r !!!! We supposed to b role models – yet those that revert to islam r better than us !!! May اللَّهُ show us the light and make us realise how beautiful our deen is b4 its toooo late !!!!!
    جَزَاكَ اللهُ خَيْرًا 
 ┉┈┈┈♡♡ -̶̯͡┈̥⌣̊°˚

    • Its true…we take it for granted that we are born muslims….we sometimes don’t value our deen enough…a revert appreciates every aspect of deen because he understands what its like to not be blessed with imaan

  8. yumz says:

    This post is so true. Its really sadening hw mayyits r a fashion show nowadays rather than doing self reflection and make dua for Tђε deceased. Parents don’t even tell their children to keep quiet and read coz they themselves are busy gossiping and making panchaat so glad Tђε posts are bak 2 normal. Great 2 have u back

  9. Shukar alhumdulilah you are back online. Your words ring so true on how people behave at a mayyit. Today we have become so careless with regards to attending a mayyit. We find ladies will attend a mayyit to either see how the deceased person’s house looks, or some will attend for the food and tasty khir offered while others want to make a fashion statement with makeup galore plastered on their faces and to make known to others that they attended the mayyit. Also in some mayyits when the face (female marhoom) is opened, woman will run quickly, jumping over others to see the face. When the body is taken away not even barely reaching the hearse, the house becomes a “fish market” with ladies talking so loudly and racing to meet and greet the loved ones left behind. Let me not speak about the food, where family members fight to gain fame and glory (pulling the its my “Haaq” – right) of who is going to sponsor the food for the day of the funeral. If a person passes away on a Friday, shukar they have a Jummah death, but the ugliness is that it becomes a weekend of feasting and again arguing of who is sponsoring lunch and supper for Saturday and Sunday. If a mayyit is carried out the correct way, with segregation for “non-mahrams”, no loud outbursts, constant reading and someone in the family immediately reads the 2 rakaats (to make the questioning easy in the qabar) as soon as the marhoom is taken away, how much ease and comfort will the marhoom have in their qabar? Maaf for the long comment, but I feel so strongly about this issue. Jazakallah and may Allah Ta’aala make us turn away from such actions.

    • Jx so much to you for all ot that..that’s almost everything I was still going to mention in the nedt post…it seems as if we all agree and have witnessed the same sick behaviour at mayyits….sad…but true….we the crew of foreveramessup will make a difference to this ummah…inshallah…and we’ll do it together….!

  10. Sumayya Riaz Jamal says:

    Great topic brought up! The behaviour at funerals are so disturbing! I’ve been through an experience – at my dads mayyit there was a lady taking pictures and videoing! we told her to stop and she started agruing x_x
    And the dressing, So dissappointing
    Allah knows best!

    Happy the site is worKing again 🙂

    • That is the height of disgusting…..photos and videos at a mayyit?oh my god….people have really gone to extreme levels…jx for sharing that..may Allah grant ur dad the highest stages of jannatul firdous..inshallah..

  11. Sister A. says:

    100% correct ! A mayyit is a place 4 reflection ……….
    Unfortunately wat we see hapening there is sumtin else. It’s bcum a place 4 socialising. Pepl use Mayyits as meeting places 2 catch up wid others. What reeeaaaalllyyy angers мε is wen disrespect is shown 2 da Qur’aan Sharief. Ʋ’ve covered dat °̩и da post already so I won’t repeat it. Da next point I’d lyk 2 mk is dat of ghair mahrams sitting °̩и da room wid da Janaaza. Ʋ’ve covered dat 2. We get sum women who r so stubborn dat dey ωɪℓℓ not only sit der bt not leave da room even afta been asked 2 °̩и order 2 mk space 4 da famly men 2 cum pik up da Janaaza. Dats wen men & women Εn∂ up bumping in2 each other violating da rules of Hijaab. I cannot 4 da lyf of мε understand wat it is dat dey need 2 see. My next point is about da dressing of da females @ Mayyits. A mayyit is supposed 2 remind us of death ….. It is not a damn fashion show. Sum women tk it as an opportunity 2 show of their latest Abaayas. Den aftr da Janaaza leaves da house da ” party” starts. Ders so much of noise 1 wud not even think dat a Mayyit has taken place der. I’ve loads mor 2 say bt I ωɪℓℓ leave it here 4 now otherwise I ωɪℓℓ end up writing my own post. Very pertinent points hav been covered °̩и dis post. Keep up da gr8 wrk sister. XoXo

    • Jx to you and taybs….most of the aspects I was going to mention in the next post have been brought up..however for the benefit of those who don’t read comment, I’ll still use sum of your guys points….

  12. Jazakallah would really appreciate you elaborating further on this issue. May Allah Ta’aala grant all the Marhomeen Jannat-ul-Firdous, fill their qabars with noor and the fragrant musk of Jannah flow into their qabars. Inshallah Aameen

  13. AOC says:

    ما شاء الله اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ that is sooo true….. May we all make amal on this. إنشـــــــاء اللَّــہ آمِيْن

    We need reminders unfort some ppl think we are “holier than though” by trying to rectify their small faults, we are all imperfect and shudnt take offence when we try n rectify one another we never know which action is our means of guidance and could be our ticket to jannah إنشـــــــاء اللَّــہ آمِيْن

    May Allah guide us all and strengthen our imaan إنشـــــــاء اللَّــہ آمِيْن

    • That’s the problem…people cannot accept that they’re wrong and don’t want to take a lesson, so they say “who are you to tell us what to do?since when are you so pious?”

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