part 153:

I slowed down abit and tried to squeeze my way through these inconsiderate people who park their cars like they own the road…don’t they ever think that there’s crazy people like me on the road?that could possibly dent or damage their cars severely?

Ismail helped me by slightly turning the steering wheel to the right….I think more because he was stressing about me bumping….

Shooooh…….I made it through..how freaking embarrassing….

Ismail:”ok I think that’s enough for one day…let’s go home….(Pulling out a cigarette)…”

Me:”your grand idea(rolling eyes)”

Ismail:”apart from you almost bumping someones black SL500, err…you weren’t that bad….”

Me:”ya well I just need more practice again….I don’t even know if my licence is still valid…..”

Ismail:”you better check it out…if its expired you going to have to do the whole learners thing and all that again…”

Me:”great! And here I was thinking that all my exam writing has come completely to an end”

We got back home and I was abit worried to take the car into the driveway so I stopped just outside while ismail pulled the car in properly and parked….

Monday morning, I woke up excited…sal was coming to spend the day with me…once I’d given everyone breakfast and ismail had left to drop the kids off at school, I decided to give her a call….

But her phone just rang and rang and no-one picked up…..

I tried one more time and just before I was going to put down, a very groggy salma answered…

Sal:”WHAT?!”

Me:”oh gosh….someones crabby today….missing your other half so soon?”

Sal:”do you mind fay?not all of us need to be up so early in the morning..besides, I’m not used to waking up this early..we’ve been waking up around 11 and 12 for the past week…I’m tired(yaaaawn)”

Me:”(laughing)ok sorry..I just called to see what time you’re coming here..forgive me for being over excited to see my sister…”

Sal:”I jumped back into bed immediately after aqeel left….I thought I could get abit of a snooze before the maid comes at 9:30″

Me:”oh good, you have a maid…”

Sal:”ya thank god….even though its the 2 of us only,but we’re too spoilt…I don’t think I’ll cope without one….”

Me:”ok so what time can I expect you then?”

Sal:”she’s new, so let me stick around abit to teach her everything and once I’m showered and dressed I’ll pop by…hopefully by 1….depends on how slow she is….”

Me:”alright….will wait for you for lunch…try to hurry up..just for today….see ya”

I started abit in the kitchen….preparing most of the stuff….I decided on some crumbed mushrooms and nachos for starters and saucy peppersteak and baked potatoes with sweetcorn and cheese for mains with a lovely salad and not too sure what to make for dessert….

It is abit chilly today so maybe a warm pudding would be good..I think we’re going to have winter much earlier than usual this year…

I didn’t have to worry about lunch..there was still quite abit of akhni left from yesterday, so we’ll all just have that and I’ll bake some pies for ismail the fuss pot who won’t eat left overs…

There are so many people starving in the world, they don’t remember when last they’ve eaten their last meal and have no clue as to when their next meal will be, and here we are fussing about eating left overs…

The problem is that he’s too spoilt and no-one taught him from young….he’s mother had her priorities all mixed up….she spoilt him in the wrong ways….by giving in to his fussyness but not bothering to give him the love and attention that he really needed…

I wonder how they are all holding up in that screwed up household?….honestly, its so much more peaceful without them interfering….

But it does cross my mind now and then….all these questions..how do they manage everyday, who’s been cooking for them, if rukaya is still with them or gone back home….I even wonder about chotikhala….and her baby..the babys probably around 6 months or so by now….I could never really picture her as a mother…

Ismail doesn’t ever talk about them…I wonder if he feels the loss of not having his family around or if we’ve filled that void enough for him…

Lifes been ok on my side for now…..I could only imagine how strenuous things wouldve been for me if I were still living with them…

No doubt, this was Allahs plan…otherwise I wouldve definitely lost both my babies……

Which reminds me, I have an appointment at the gynae again this week to check up on my little angel….we’re eager to find out what we’re getting this time around, but everytime we go for an appointment, the baby is in an awkward position and the dr can’t seem to make out for sure…

I don’t really mind what it is, as long as its a healthy and normal child, but I’m just eager to know..


Authors note:
Since we are nearing the months of rajab and sha’baan, I’ve uploaded a page to help us understand the importance of these upcoming months and what is required for us to do…feel free to add on as you desire….

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 152:

I walked gracefully with my arms folded and my forehead creased towards the car……and once I was stationed right infront of ismail I asked:
“Babes?where exactly are we going?you’re acting very weird I must say….”

Ismail grinned even more crazily and lifted up the car keys with 2 fingers right infront of my very curious face…
“To get you driving once again….”

I couldn’t help but laugh right there and then, in his face…
“You are absolutely out of your mind love…there is no way I am jumping in the drivers seat….I haven’t been behind a steering wheel for like 7 years and now suddenly when I’m as round as jumbo, you expect me to just drive?uh uh…you mad…”And I started walking away giggling to myself….

Ismail:”babes…come on…you first angry that I don’t want you to drive..now when I want to teach you, you’re laughing at me…?!how bad can it be?its not like you have no clue how to drive, you used to drive all over the show, you just need a little bit of practice…”

He was right, but I was nervous…I had no courage to drive again….I know its a necessity, but honestly, now is really not the time for this…

Almost as if though he could read my thoughts….
“Besides, its a sunday, the roads are more quiet than usual….and if you feel like you can’t manage, I’ll take over and we’ll come back home..” He looked at me questioningly… He wasn’t sure if I was going to agree or not…

Agh! What’s the major deal.?…he was atleast trying…let me just do it to make him happy…even though it would be rather strange with my big tummy coming in the way….

Ismail:”and trust me love, your tummys not that big yet…if I weren’t your hubby, I wouldn’t even know you’re pregnant…”

Me:”that’s because I’m wearing a cloak…YOU can’t notice it..but I who’s wearing the big fat belly, can definitely feel it…(Big sigh)…oookay….let’s try this”

The kids were still standing at the front door waiting for us to go…and when they noticed me jumping into the drivers seat they started giggling to themselves…

Raadiya:”mama?you can drive?”

Me:”I could….but I don’t no anymore….”

Riyaad:”this is going to be so much fun….daddy please can we come with to see…?”

Me:”no ways(giving them big eyes and then turning to ismail)…they cannot be in the car..its bad enough that we’re risking 3 of our lives here…we can’t endanger another 2 humans…(Screaming)….go inside kiddos….we’ll be back soon…verry soon”

I closed my door and put the key in the ignition….

Ismail:”see!(Smiling)…that’s a start love…you still remember where the key goes…”

Me:”oh shoosh babes…its not funny…I’m going to have an anxiety attack and its going to be all your fault….couldn’t you wait till after I give birth…..?”

Ismail:”then you’ll say can’t I wait till the babys bigger and then you’ll be pregnant again and we’ll go on and on…..besides…dada and dadi are old and I’m most of the time at work or on training..I feel its necessary, especially with the kids now…I’m not saying you have to do everything and be in the car the whole day, but you need to just know, incase there’s an emergency, atleast you’ll be able to jump in the car and move…”

He had a very valid point..but since I got married, I’d become so dependant on him to take me wherever I needed to or get whatever I needed, I even forgot that I once was so independent and did everything myself…

I read bismillah and with a very heavy chest, switched the car on…….with a jerk…..

I put my face in my hands out of frustration while ismail laughed, clearly enjoyed this…

Ismail:”babes….you’re too tense….just calm down k….”

I tried again…this time its started and staying on…I then slowly put the hand brakes down and carefully pressed the accelerator…..oh my god!!!I was on the road again…..eeeeek!

Ok ok..calm down faaiza..this Is not going to be so bad…shukr to Allah that the roads were generally empty…so I surprisingly still remembered how to drive and change gears….

Until I came onto a very narrow street a couple of blocks away and there were loads of cars parked just where I needed to take the bend….and to top it all off, there were also just as many people standing outside the house….I started to panic…what if I couldn’t make it through…this is so embarrassing….


Authors note:
A new page has been added…this is your q&A page…feel free to post any questions you wish to ask and inshallah these will be answered and pasted on the page….should you wish to ask any questions but don’t want to do this on the site, you may forward me an e-mail….females ONLY..any males wishing to ask questions should do so strictly on the blog…
Questions won’t always be answered immediately…it may take between a couple of hours to a couple of days, but we will try to answer every question posed inshallah….
We truly hope this blog can be of benefit to many inshallah…
By you asking questions, I learn, aswel as every other person reading the blog…
Please do check out all the pages as they are regularly updated….

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 151:

Back to faaizas point of view:

Shukr salmas wedding went off remarkably well…..perfection in every possible way..mashallah…

Its like a new road that you venture on, you’re afraid of getting lost or taking the wrong turn, and when you’ve finally reached your destination, you cannot believe how superbly you’d got there….

I envied her..not in a way that I’d want what she has to be taken away from her…no..never in that way…..I envied the fact that she’d passed one of the greatest test of todays time..that she went totally against what the norm is….that she didn’t care about turning to a man previously for love or comfort or company….and she did things in a way pleasing to the Almighty…

She didn’t wait and worry about irrelevant things like what people would say that she jumped at the next available man that came along….or that he was married previously..or that it was done in a matter of a day…….all she ever cared about was Allah…..and that’s what made everything run so smoothly…

Her day and days were filled with noor that unfortunately I hadn’t witnessed…

I unfortunately lost out…I unfortunately chose comfort in haraam when I’d lost everything…when I had no-one to love me, I didn’t choose Allah…I chose a man……a man who claimed to love me and flatter me with his false personality…a man who is and was always unable to sustain or provide any kind of security to me…..

I broke the laws of Allah and took away the barakah of my life by cuddling and smooching before it was halaal for me…..

I always consoled myself and said that it was fine because he was the only man that I’d had in my life and he was the only one that I’d married….

But now that I look back….with a regretful heart….I know that I was wrong….Allah didn’t make it permissible for me to have any relation with ismail before my marriage….he didn’t say it was okay because I will oneday be his wife……

That feeling that salma probably had after her first kiss with aqeel, was a feeling that I couldve had, had I chosen the correct way of doing things…

I can’t blame it on my lack of knowledge..on being ignorant…because I wasn’t…we were taught that it was wrong to be in a relationship…for a girl and guy to be anything with eachother, be it friends or an accomplice…it was wrong…and I knew it…

I can’t blame it on the fact that I had no-one to stop me….because I did..I had my own self to stop me…my nafs…it told me to stop and save myself….but the evil of my nafs..my inner soul told me to continue…I was an adult and knew my boundaries…?!

I can’t blame anyone but myself for the mistakes I’ve made…for the barakah(blessings) I’d lost….for the harm I’ve caused to myself and my imaan……

Allah alone knows how I lament on these issues of my past…how I wish I could turn back time and change the way I did things..but I’ve learnt that that is life…we can’t change what has happened in the past..it can never be erased. No matter what we do, we will be constantly reminded of the mistakes we’ve made…but….what we can do is make sure that we, and the ones we love around us, don’t make the same foolish mistakes that we have…..

I invited salma and aqeel over for a meal one of the days….gosh they were like damn celebrities….invited somewhere almost every night….but I could wait…..whenever they were available….just to catch up with my dear sister..I miSsed her so much but I knew she was in brilliant hands…and I didn’t worry about her one bit..

They agreed that monday was good as aqeel would be going back to work and salma could spend her first normal day with me…great!…enough time to find out how married lifes been treating her thus far…

On sunday after lunch ismail hooted for me to come outside…

As I walked toward our ‘smashing’ golf, which was strangely parked on the road and not in the driveway, he hopped out of the drivers seat and had a bizarre grin on his face…

The kids ran out just after me, wondering who was hooting and why I suppose..and also had confused looks on their faces….

Riyaad:”daddy? Where are we going?”

Ismail:”you and diya go back inside son…..mama and I will be right back k….”

What was this man upto?and where was he taking me?

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 150

The first week of marriage has been quite relaxing and fun….aqeel and I sit up talking till the wee hours of the night, perform tahajjud salaah, read abit of quraan until fajr, we read our 2 sunnah rakaats of fajr salaah together and then he goes to the masjid for salaah….

Nabi(S.A.W) is reported to have said to the effect…”that we should not make our homes like graveyards”…meaning that some salaah has been encouraged to be performed at home as this will be a means of barakah(blessings) in the home…

Ofcourse this doesn’t mean fardh salaah..as far as possible a man is required to perform all fardh salaah In the masjid with jama’ah(congregation)….but its preferred that the sunnah and nafl salaah should be performed at home so there is less risk of doing it for show..

Aqeel confessed that he sometimes found it really hard to go to the masjid…just the thought of getting into the car and driving all the way and then driving back..by then so much of time passes and its too late to catch a nap again before work…

But he heard someone mention in the masjid the other day…that if an announcement was made that a large amount of money was to be distributed at a specific time to anyone who comes to such and such place….we all would be more than happy to rush there….then sleep also would be forgotten…

So here, Allah is promising everlasting wealth to the person who sacrifices his time, his sleep and his comforts whilst so many are enjoying their slumber….

Aqeel:”how can we ever miss this opportunity..only a fool will do something like that”

And so he’s made an intention….which for now is better than nothing at all….to go to the masjid for every salaah inshallah….

Before he can even return from fajr, I’m far away in dreamland….we wake up around 12, have a cup of tea, read zuhr and then go out together for lunch…

We’ve been doing loads of shopping..aqeels been spoiling me rotten…..everything my eyes fall on, he wants to buy…..and there’s no arguing with him…..its a total waste to argue with aqeel…he always gets what he wants..

For supper we’ve been invited by all the family….its either my mum or his or this cousin or aunt….which is quite of sweet of them…but I honestly can’t wait for normality….for life to begin and responsibility to set in…

I know I sound crazy..I mean who wants responsibilty to start?everyone wants to live a life like this….no responsibility, shopping everyday, no cooking, cleaning, having to make lunch…no routine….but that’s not me….I LOVE routine….

So after the first week was over, aqeel unfortunately had to return to work…even thought it was their own business, aqeel was very hard working and didn’t take advantage….he was passionate about his work…

We discussed about the apartment one night….

Me:”baby…why don’t you want to stay here? Its lovely….and cosy and comfortable..and we’re only 2 of us…there’s no need to buy a house at the moment…maybe oneday, if and when Allah grants us kids, then we can think about it…”

Aqeel:”its not fair sweetheart…..you deserve better than this place….and there’s too may rotten memories for me in this house….”

Me:”ok…I understand…it reminds you of her ne?”

Aqeel:”yeah…and not like there were any good memories at all…”

Me:”sorry….to bring it up…it must hurt a lot….”

Aqeel:”naah…not really…it hurt at first, when ismail came to me that night to tell me, I was shocked, because I felt like a total fool…..I trusted her with my whole life..I never doubted her even though there were many warnings before we got married, to make my mother happy I ignored it all and went ahead with it….I felt pathetic…..but once It really kicked in, I realised that we never really had much of a relationship, there wasn’t ever a spark…you know what I mean?”

A smile automatically spread across my face..
“Ofcourse I know what you mean”

Aqeel:”(giggle)…exactly….like you and I…we have that spark…from the beginning….like an electrifying type of feeling that runs through your every nerve in your body….”

I was blushing again..I could feel my cheeks turning all shades of red….

Aqeel:”you’re blushing again…”

Me:(embarrassed and hiding my face)…”I’m not”(giggle)….

Aqeel:”yes you are….”

And there he went again…tickling me like crazy..I’m extremely sensitive…I go insane if someone tickles me and aqeel figured that out….and he wouldn’t stop until I had tears streaming down uncontrollably…

That’s what I’ve learnt to love about him..the situation can be so serious and tense but he always eased the tension…and we’d always end up laughing and smiling at the end….

I’m falling in love more and more, day after day with this man who’s my husband and we yet have the rest of our lives to fall deeper in love…I am so at peace for doing things this way…

May Allah bless mine..aswel as all the other marriages in this world with peace, happiness and contentment and most of all…understanding!ameen


Authors note:
A new page has been added under the title of ‘duas we make unknowingly’
Please do check it out and feel free to add what u wish….

Also, this is the end of salmas point of view…things will continue from faaizas point of view as of tomorrow inshallah…..hope you all are having a wonderful weekend

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 149:

Aqeel got up…went to the kitchen, drank some water and came back to the room…

Aqeel:”sorry my love….certain people and certain things make me very angry…..tell me…who told you that?it can only be rubeena herself right?”

I just noDded…

Aqeel:”well I should have warned you about her before this happened….but I didn’t think she would start her sh** as early as my walima….”

I looked at him puzzled…

Aqeel:”rubeena is my mothers sisters daughter”

Me:”(nodding)..so she said…she’s ‘faatis’ sisters daughter…(Giggle)”

Aqeel:”exactly…that alone will show you how rotten she is….no damn respect for anyone…I don’t completely blame her..I blame her parents for not bringing her up properly..but now that she’s an adult, she has a brain of her own to know what’s right and wrong…”

I listened…..not saying a word..giving him a chance to explain….

Aqeel:”Rubeenas mother…..my khala….was always jealous of my mother, especially when my father started prospering….she was divorced and even tried seducing my father..shukr my father had more brains than that…but he didn’t want to cause problems between my mother and her sister so he didn’t tell my mother anything…and he gave her some money every month, because he felt sorry for her…having to look after rubeena as a single parent….but she took this to her advantage and started putting doubt in my mothers head….”

Me:”like mother like daughter”

Aqeel:”(light laugh)…aha…rubeena turned out exactly the same…my khala is very different to my mother…sometimes I wonder if they were born from the same parents…but anyway…my mother and father started fighting endlessly until oneday my father finally told my mother about her….they didn’t speak for a few years but because my mother is a soft person, after a few years she made maaf with her sister thinking she’ll change….but unfortunately ‘old habits die hard’ ”

Me:”oh my word…..do you seriously get people like this?”

Aqeel:”unfortunately so my love”

Me:”but why does she have it in for me?did she interfere in yoiur first marriage also?”

Aqeel:”(sarcastic laugh)….you see, rubeena was the only person that my ex-wife ever got along with..I’m sure fay must have told you..noori was one stuck up person…and since rubeena and her had so much I common, they were very good friends….I’m sure they probably still are…”

Me: “oooooh….now I see….she hates me because of her best friend……(Sigh)”

Aqeel:”it shouldn’t matter love if she hates you…..she’s evil on her own….so what exactly did she tell you?”

I told aqeel how I conversation more or less went…

Aqeel:(sarcastic laugh)”inseparable?pft…in her dreams….I never ever so much as even greeted her properly in my life….inseparable is so over exaggerated…”

I hugged him:”what a relief, I was feeling quite upset after that but I’m sorry for being annoyed with you about it….”

Aqeel:(kissing my head)”no need to be sorry love…you just need to be careful ok…..just stay out of her way if ever you see her….”

Me:”just one more thing…”

Aqeel:”mmm?”

Me:”umm…she asked for my number and….”

Aqeel:”don’t tell me you gave it to her?”

I put my face in my hands…defeated….

Aqeel:(huge sigh)”its ok…..if ever she contacts you just ignore her and we’ll block her number from your phone..otherwise if you want to, we can get you a new simcard?with a new number?”

Me:”umm…but everyone has this number of mine..”

Aqeel:”ok my love…no problem..let’s just wait and see….hopefully she won’t trouble you…and if she does….I’ll sort her out once and for all….”

Me:”(smiling and rested my head on his chest)…my bodyguard(giggle)”

Aqeel:”so…….I’m going to be taking off for ths week so I can spend some precious time with my gorgeous wife….I was going to take you somewhere for a honeymoon, but one of your cousins approached me and said that they’d like to gift us our honeymoon trip…but that will only be in 3 months time….”

Me:”what?are you serious?which cousin?”

Aqeel:”I can’t remember their names…if I see them I’ll be able to tell you…but they took my number and said they’ll get back to me some time this week to finalise everything…..(Pause)….I hope you don’t mind? But if you want to, we can go to durban for a few days this week and then again in 3 months time for your official honeymoon?”

Me:”(giggle)..no…..anyway there’s no basis of honeymoon in islaam….we can be anywhere in the world, but what makes a difference is that we’re together..even if its here at home….”

Aqeel:”that’s why I chose to marry you my queen….(Hugging me)…because everything in your life has to be about your deen(religion)…”

Me:”I try….”

Aqeel:”the best wife is one who reminds you of Allah….”

Me:”and the best husband is one who is kind to his wife….”

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 148:

Fay unlocked the bathroom door and peeped out slightly….

It was just 2 little kids wanting to use the bathroom…lol…we didn’t realise that we occupied the entire bathroom and didn’t consider that someone might need to use one of the loo’s..

Fay let them In and fixed up my make-up abit
“Cheer up now…and no more crying(pointing her lip liner at me)…I’m not fixing up your make-up again…”

After tea and dessert everyone started to leave…fay helped me to put on my cape and scarf and the few people that were still left from my side came and sat around my table while aqeels family helped to clear up…

We sat and giggled and spoke about random things and some of them had to leave…by now there was no seperation…some of the family men were now on our side trying to help out to clear up…

Aqeel walked in casually looking straight at me….that smile that just made my heart melt and made me forget all that’s happened…how could I be angry with someone like him? He’s so sweet and loving and caring…I’m sure there’s 2 sides to every story…

Fortunately I didn’t have to see that witches face again…she seemed to have got onto her broom stick and flew away…shukr for that..

He pulled up a chair and sat next to me after giving me a small peck on my cheek…I blushed like a shy bride…well I was a shy bride…lol…he took my hand and sat all the while next to me having a conversation with everyone sitting around…

A man looking quite dishevelled came close to where we were seated..aqeel stood up and walked up to him. He put his hand forward and warmly greeted the man…

Aqeel:”(patting his shoulder)..did you eat nicely uncle?”

Uncle:”jee yes..jazakallah..may the almighty bless you and your wife…”

Aqeel:”ameen…please..don’t leave without taking some food…they are probably emptying out the food in the kitchen…stop there and take some with you before you go home ok…”

Uncle:”really you have a very good heart son….may the almighty grant many a heart like yours…and may you never be short of anything..”

And with that the man was gone….I was in awe of aqeel…

I later found out that at all their functions, they buy a sleeve full of take away polystyrene containers where they pack away all left over foods and give it away to the poor….nothing is kept for the family….

Me:”even the prawns?(My eyes were wide)”

Aqeel:”even the prawns…. (Giggle) Shukr we’re not short of anything..if we want more, we can buy more….when will these people ever get to taste prawns and fish etc?….forget that….when will they have their next meal…?”

Apparently its a monthly routine, that started off with aqeels father a couple of years ago that on a saturday they buy crate loads of bread and drive around giving out to whichever poor people they find…..

Aqeel:”no-one really knows about it…no-one needs to know about it..we were once not very well off…when I was a young boy it was tough…we lived from hand to mouth…my father sometimes worked a full 24 hour shift just to make a few extra rands so he could bring home some food for us…

There were days that we would just have a cup of tea for breakfast and skip lunch because there was nothing to eat and then for supper we would have a bowl of soup which my mummy managed to prepare…

And then shukr Allah started blessing us with wealth..my father moved jobs and started working for a white company who only allowed him to move higher and higher until he was stable enough to move on his own…and from there he invested in different businesses and houses etc…

So now that Allah has given us, its the least we can do to thank Him for taking us out of poverty and giving us a life of luxury…

My father always used to make dua for Allah to give us abundance of wealth yet to never forget the times that we didn’t have…and not to allow our wealth to go to our heads and give us pride…”

I cannot believe my luck….what have I done to be given such a gem of a husband…Allah is truly Great…and the more I learnt about him…the more I seem to love him….

Now I understand when they say, love comes after marriage and you will learn to love your husband even if you didn’t when you just got married…

we returned home after a very tiring and eventful walima…just aqeel and I…we were exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before…

So after reading asr we just relaxed until maghrib….I was 2 minded about asking aqeel about rubeena…I knew I had to but I was scared for some reason…

So while laying in his hands and he playing with my hair, I sat up to face him….

Aqeel:(smile)”what’s wrong my love?”

Me:”umm…(Looking down and peeling my skin off my fingers nervously)….I need to …umm…ask you something…”

Aqeel looked at me with so much affection…..and took my hand…
“Sure..what’s on your mind?”

Me:”err…have you ever been really close with any of your female cousins?I mean like close close?”

Aqeel:(looking very confused)”I speak to most of them, I greet but nothing ever really deep or personal…I don’t do that hugging and shaking hands thing…why?(Smile) are you worried my sweet heart?I’m yours….and only yours….”

Me:”(feeling abit annoyed)..are you sure?what about your cousin rubeena?I heard that the 2 of you were quite ‘inseparable’….”

Aqeels smile wiped off his face and was replaced with anger that I haven’t yet seen…his eyes were blazing. I wasn’t sure if I’d just ticked him off about this…had I taken it too far?I shouldn’t have brought it up….I started getting scared…what did I do? Were we going to have our first fight already so soon?….

silent living-foreveramessup.wordpress.com

part 147:

Authors note:
This is a bonus post because I’ve reached 300 followers…alhamdulillah….jx to everyone for the great support…..


Girl:”hey….salma right?”

Me:”(fake smile)..err jee”

Girl:”oh I’m rubeena…(Putting her perfectly manicured hand forward)”

I couldn’t help but noticed that her nails were quite long and she had red nail polish on them…..yuck

Me:”(forcing a smile)…nice to meet you”

Rubeena:”yeah…most feel that way(annoying giggle)…I’m aqeels cousin…faatis sisters daughter…”

Faati?like girl..if you’re ‘faatis’ sisters daughter then that would make you ‘aunti’ faatis neice…..where is the respect gone to?who do you think you are..

Me:”oh ok….(I managed to force out)”

Rubeena:”ya so you’ve probably heard a lot about me from everyone…(Twisting some of her hair around her finger)”

Me:(confused)”..no..not really…”

Rubeena:”oh(wide eyes)…you haven’t?oh well you shall..trust me..aqeel and I go back a loooong time…because we’re aroud the same age we like grew up together..quite inseparable actually…nobody could separate us..you know aqs..he has somewhat of a soft spot for me……(Wink)”

Why was this girl thoroughly enjoying this? She was trying to spoil my day and trying to make me jealous, which was working quite well….I don’t know if I approved of my husband being inseparable with another woman, even though she’s his cousin…and especially one like her…I know I’m judging..but she’s given me all the reason to….

Rubeena:”(clearly enjoying the look on my face)…its quite unfortunate that he ended up with someone as simple as you…you’re really not what I expected for my aqs…but what to do…..?have to just accept his choice….”

My blood was boiling..who the hell was this evil witch to tell me such crap on MY big day…I felt myself gulping hard….and swallowing the tears that were threatening to flow…why couldn’t I answer her back?why can’t I just put her down the way she’s belittling me?

Rubeena:”anyway….we should keep in touch some time……what’s your number?bbm pin maybe?are you on whatsapp?oh what a dumb question, ofcourse you must be, how else would aqeel find you…(Laugh)”

I just glared at her…

She opened the flap to her phone and began poking her fingers typing out something…

Rubeena:(talking to herself)”sal-ma…aqs second wife…right so your number is?(Looking at me, waiting for me to give it to her)”

Me:”err (clearing throat) err its….”

And I gave my number to her….only when I gave her the last digit did I regret…how stupid could I be?….this woman was crazy…I hope she doesn’t stalk me….

Rubeena:”anyway, I will like be in touch…please do look after my aqs…..otherwise dear, you would have to deal with me(giggle)…”

And off she went…

My blood was boiling..I was fuming…I hate her..I may not know her, but I hate her……I felt like crying…I don’t know why I was so sensitive..and I was mad at aqeel…..I don’t know why I was mad at him, but I was….why didn’t he tell me about his cousin that he was so deep into?

Fay:”sal…….hmmm…try this dessert….oh my word…its a strawberry mousse…its absolutely divine…..(Pause to look at me)…..whoa…..what happened?you okay?I was just gone for a few minutes and you’re so upset already?(Trying to brighten my mood)…”

Me:”fay, I think I need the bathroom, please come with me, do you know where it is?”

Fay:”no, let me just quickly find out k(concerned look)”

Fay went to inquire and was back in 2 minutes….”come..the bathrooms this way…”

We reached the bathroom and made sure there was no-one else there, I locked the door so no-one else could enter and then I burst into tears….

Fay:”oh my word sal…..what’s going on?(Hugging me)….you can’t cry like this…did something happen?are you just feeling emotional about being married?it will all be ok..you’ve got a good guy and he’ll look after you..and you’re living in the same town so you’ll see your family all the time and you’ll see me All the time also….what brought this on…i swear you were so happy till now….”

But I couldn’t speak…I hated that girl…..and once I cried out whatever was left..I told fay about her…

Fay:”oh gosh…Salma don’t let her get to you…I don’t know her, but from what you’re telling me, it seems like she’s just jealous..and there’s no place for jealous people in our lives….this is shaytaan trying to spoil the blessings of a beautiful day..thus far everything has been done the right way and shaytaan can not handle it..he just has to try and get his destructive hands on every situation…so don’t give him the upper hand…”

Me:(giggle)..”you talk a lot…..”

Fay:(raising eyebrow)”and you only figured that out now?”

We both laughed..

Me:”I guess you’re right…I’ll just speak to aqeel about it later on…she’s not worth my tears or my happiness”

There was a loud knock on the bathroom door…..and fay and I both jumped…


Authors note:
A new page regarding prophet moosa (A.S) has been uploaded..please check it out whenever you have time and feel free to contribute by commenting

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