part 94:

After doc gave us the following advice, we left….

 

The point of counselling is to teach us that communication is very important…tell eachother how you feel….whether you’re happy, angry or sad…its important to explain your emotions…

 

A woman and a man are both very different human beings….a lot of the time a woman expects a man to just understand or know what she’s feeling inside….whereas really he has no idea whatsoever…

 

Appreciation is an important point in a marriage….for any little thing that your spouse does for you…a simple thank you with a peck on the cheek can do the world of a difference…

 

Doc gave a good example…that when we’re eat at a restaurant, we are required to give 10% gratuity to the waiter…..the waiter is someone who hasn’t even served you half as well as your wife does but yet you give that tip….your wife serves you more than a hundred times a day…thank her for that..do things to make her feel special and loved..its all they ever want from you….by buying someone a gift, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you care..you need to show them by means of action and speech…

 

What was done in the past can never be undone…..but a better future can be created just by learning from past experiences…

 

Doc advised us that as a couple, we are definitely going to have ups and downs..but no matter what….we should always remember that we are the most important people in eachothers lives…

 

We don’t always have to have the last say and we don’t always have to prove that we’re right….lol..that’s often the case…just give in sometimes…Allah knows that you were right and he’ll compensate you for it…

 

Certain marriages turn upside down because the one wants to prove a point and be more spiteful than the next…’I’ll show that dog….he’s so spiteful..I’ll also be just so spiteful….I won’t give him breakfast tomorrow..and I won’t wash his clothes…and I’ll leave him to starve..just watch…”

 

By doing that its going to be a never ending battle…it can go on for years and years..but if we just give in..and let it go…lower our pride and be the first one to hug, kiss and make up….what a better world we’d be living in today….

 

Doc mentioned to us about a certain incident in the time of our beloved prophet (S.A.W)….someone was swearing and insulting a companion(R.A) if I’m not mistaken….(Forgive me if I’m wrong)…but he didn’t say anything….after a long while he replied…nabi(s.a.w) explained to him to the effect that the angels were replying to the man for him until he had spoken up…

 

We felt amazing after we left doc….ismail wasn’t angry..infact he was so much more affectionate towards me…he looked like he had deep regret…and I reassured him a million times that it was over and he should never think of it ever again…

 

Today we didn’t make any mistakes with who’d pick the kids up…I asked salma to….lol..we didn’t need any confrontations between salma and aqeel, knowing how aqeel feels about her…

 

Once reaching home, salma joined us for lunch, I got the kids ready and ismail went to drop them off at madressah and then advanced to work…

 

Shukr(thanks) to Allah..ismails really been enjoying work…he says its almost stress free and the people he works with are quite efficient…

 

So once everyone was gone and we were done clearing up the lunch table there was sufficient time to catch up with salma on her istikhaarah and what she had decided….

 

Me:”so sal?how’s you istikhaarah going?you getting anywhere with it…”

 

Salma:”I guess so (sigh)…”

 

Me:”aaaaNdd?why don’t you look too happy…”

 

Salma:”we’ll I have been reading istikhaarah..and that short istikhaarah dua you gave me and I’ve been doing my research and I’ve been stalking the guy on all social networks possible….”

 

Me:”and?”

 

Salma:”well his facebook has mostly guys..like mostly mostly”

 

Me:”soo?that’s a good thing..atleast you know he’s not some kind of a pervert or player”

 

Salma:”here….here’s a pic of him..(Handing me her phone)…Its his facebook profile..”

 

Me:(taking her phone)”…oooh…cheese boy I see(giggling)…”

 

Salma:”exactly my point”

 

Me:”what?you worried about how him being a cheese boy…..?eventually he’ll grow his beard.look at ismail…okay its after sooo many years but still..his doing it..”

 

Salma:”fay!you could still see that ismail used to shave…he had that green all over his face….but this guy is like clean clean…like he lasers or waxes or something..”

 

I was ripped…..I couldn’t stop….

 

Me:”sal you are crazy..honestly!”

 

Salma:”and look at him with his hair all gelled back…and a leather jacket?like really….?who wears leather jackets nowadays…”

 

Me:”did you tell your mother all this?I highly doubt it cos if you did she be running after you with her rolling pin(laughing like mad)….no seriously sal…..didn’t you already see him when he came for the samoosa run?”

 

Salma:”that’s what’s bothering me fay….he had on a kurta and topi when he came to see me…”

 

Me:”hmmm…”

 

Salma:”well I’ve come to a conclusion about me and this chap….fay……I think goolaam bhai is…….”

Advertisements

31 thoughts on “part 94:

  1. sister/in/islam says:

    Hmmmm …… GHULAARM BHAAI izzz !!!!!!!! Not the 1 , defntly !!! Cos Aqeel is .. ƗƗɐƗƗɐ…ƗƗɐƗƗɐ…
    Its very important 4 couples to go 2 a good muslim counseller – like der 1 – [ ( who actually is out author – ‎​ℓ☺ℓ ) {mayb u shud take that up as a profession mrs author} ] …….. Who explains everything 2 dem n also gives Islamic perspectivs ..
    Soo happy that they r progressin well .

    So true abt gifts not being enuf for appreciation – sometyms a good compliment or words of gratitude mayb mor heartwarmin than expensiv gifts !! Makes a person feel mor loved n worth it !!

    جَزَاكَ اللهُ خَيْرًا 
 ┉┈┈┈♡♡ -̶̯͡┈̥⌣̊°˚

    No mor monday mornin blues I hope beloved author !!!
    *hugs*

    • Lol lol lol……I unfortunately don’t have what it takes….but in my weak capacity and maybe through this blog I would LOVE to take up counselling others…..actually it was my dream when I was in school to either study psychology or graphic designing….but Allah had better plans for me alhamdulillah…

      No shukr no blue monday….just FLU monday lol

  2. zana says:

    Goolam bhai😁 I think we have our answer. Salma has her made her choice
    She read her istighara dua and allah has been showing her signs
    Its so true that we remember what happened yesterday can’t be changed and we can only learn from it

  3. Sister A. says:

    Lmao! =))=D=))Њα̲̅α̲̅ Њα̲̅α̲̅ =))=))=))˘°˘=))˘•˘=D=D˘•˘=))˘°˘=))=D˘•˘=))˘
    =D˘•˘=)) нªª˘°˘нªª˘°˘нªª˘°˘ =))˘•˘=DẀτ=))=D=))Њα̲̅α̲̅ Њα̲̅α̲̅ =))=))=))˘°˘=))˘•˘=D=D˘•˘=))˘°˘=))=D˘•˘=))˘
    =D˘•˘=)) нªª˘°˘нªª˘°˘нªª˘°˘ =))˘•˘=D # BUST# Ghulaarm Bhai (wid tajweed) is definitely no match 4 sweet Salma. Goolam waxing or doin laser # RIPPED #
    ɪ̇Ƒ dey Εn∂ up 2gether I’m gona go in2 depression. ℓ☺ℓ.
    On a serious note nw, °̩и any situation males & females definately DO NOT react °̩и da same way as dey r different emotionally. Dats y both partners hav 2 b open abt der feelings 2 each other. Dis story just gets better!

  4. Fatima says:

    Beautiful advise. The example if I’m not mistaken that our dearest author spoke of was when a disbeliever was tatunting Hz Abu Bakr (closest friend to Nabi (S.A.W)) Nabi (S.A.W) sat there smiling, n as soon as Hz. Abu bakr madew a remark Nabi (S.A.W) left. Whe He questioned Nabi (S.A.W) he was advised that when the disbeliever was taunting u, Allah ordered an angel to reply on ur behalf, but as soon as u decided to speak n defend urself, shaytan had appeared to cheer u on, n I (Nabi S.A.W) do not sit in the same gatherng as shaytaan. I’m not sure if this is d incident author was trying to bring forward.

    • Jx soooo much my dear sister..may Allah increase you in knowledge…I was thinking that it was hazrat abu bakr..but I was doubting myself and didn’t want to mention it for fear that I could have been wrong….will inshalah post this on the inspirations page….

    • Jhee, that’s correct. It was Hadhrat Abu Bakr (RA) , and he was wondering why, his friend, the Prophet (SAW), was not even sticking up for him. Alhumdulillah, our Nabi (SAW) was aware of the angels cursing this man who was taunting Abu Bakr (RA). Was going to mention this incident on my blog one of the days, but Alhumdulillah, Allah Ta’ala has put it in you to inspire first. Keep up the good work, Sister.

      • You’re more than welcome to mention it on your blog still..why not?its not my words…its that of nabi(s.a.w)’s so why not mention it over n over again…

        U said it yourself…that we all know..but need to be reminded over again…..something my ustaads used to always say…when you repeatedly mention something…it settles in your heart….:)

        Besides..wen u put things in ur blog it just sounds so much better than if I had to say it… 🙂

  5. Annon says:

    Love ur blog starting reading it since sat finished it last night……

    Brought tears to my eyes!!!! Some parts of Faaiza’s life is like my own إنشـــــــاء اللَّــہ may Allah grant my hubby hidaayat like Ismail and change him for the better, …. آمِيْن rem us in ur duas…… Diff is my hubby is the orphan like fay n I v both my parents اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ like Isi

    Yes Goolam bhai is soooooo not the 1, Salma here comes Akeel the last Samoosa run for you….. Can’t wait for the next post *super excited*

    May Allah grant u goodness and continue to put things in ur heart that we can benefit from….إنشـــــــاء اللَّــہ آمِيْن

    • Inshallah..have hope and make lots of dua….Allah is so great…

      Omw what a coincidence…may Allah make it easy for you and everyone that’s going through this…

      Shower your husband with ample attention and affection….inshalah he’ll change..I have hope…
      Sometimes we think its impossible…but nothing is impossible for Allah…

  6. a95r says:

    So true, we should always show appreciation. And us females tend to get quite emotional, men don’t understand things like that, they need to be explained to.
    Sounds like its a no for goolam, wonder will aqeel go to ‘see’ her… What stories salma will have for faaiza… Already awaiting that convo.
    Btw the incident you mentioned is correct. (I think u were unsure?)

  7. sister/in/islam says:

    Hey mrs author !!
    I’m from R stayin in A , yearning to go 2 M n M , wishing to die in M on a F ………..
    =))˚°◦hahahaha . _\\_‎​​
    Just makin mustee !!!!

    • Lol…..lol….well as for me…hmmmm….can’t say where I’m from or where I’m staying but I’m also yearning to go to m and m and wishing to also die in M on a F….hahahaha

  8. FATZ says:

    Wow such beautiful advise given. Jzkl diff gona mke hubby read it as well. Yesssss goolam bhai is soo not da 1 . …ƗƗɐƗƗɐ… he sounds so old “goolam bhai ” giggles

  9. Nafissa says:

    What ever is meant for us will never miss us!

    Dear Annon sister,Allah swt test those whom he loves!In sha Allah you will reap the benefits of your patience…

    • Ameen…she and everyone going thru any kind of diffliculties will deff see the fruits of their patience and good deeds…if not in this world then deffinitely in the hereafter

  10. Anonymous says:

    Great post as usual. Men should really take some points from here, ok ok women also. I’m going to make my husband read this post lol. You really would make a great marriage counsellor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s