part 74:

*note:

Jumu’ah mubarak to all you wonderful people…may Allah make this day a success and may He grant many of us hidayah on this amazing day of jumu’ah…peace and salutations upon our beloved nabi muhammad (S.a.w)…

This post…aswel as the next 4 posts are all dedicated to sister A..jx for all your comments and support!

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The session went quite well…infact much better than I’d expected…..ismail began before I could….truth is I didn’t have much to talk about my childhood..I had the most amazing childhood, filled with lots of love and happiness always, I don’t ever remember any sadness when I was a little girl….

 

I had never heard my husband in so much of pain like I did on this day…he spoke about how he was always neglected, ill-treated, abused, sworn at, criticized…

 

Just Like how I was unable to think of a sad moment in my childhood, ismail couldn’t think of a single happy moment in his childhood…he grew up with extreme fear…he was always scared to do anything or say anything…

 

The minute he’d open his mouth to say something, he was immediately shut down…

 

He wasn’t allowed any friends at all..he was kept away from everyone…

 

His own parents used to mock at him, ridicule him and laugh at him to his face…

 

When his sisters were younger, they too were treated like this apparently..but it eased down once ismail came into the picture..its as if though he was the only one for them to take out their frustration on…

 

Doc:”why didn’t you ever speak to anyone about this before?was there not even a single family member who’d understand what you were going through?I can’t believe that you’ve carried all of this with you for 30 years”

 

Ismail:”I was scared…they put so much of fear into my heart that I started believing that all the things they said about me was true..that I was a stupid.that no-one would love me..that no-one would ever listen to anything I said…it was too risky to take that chance and be more broken after I was told by someone else that I’m a loser..a failure…”

 

Me:”but when we met..why didn’t you ever tell me?you knew I loved you…and I would be there for you?”

 

Ismail:”I was scared that if I ever told you, you’d also start thinking that I was a loser….and that I’m stupid and you’ll also want to leave me..”

 

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it hard…

 

Me:”I’ll never leave you..I love you…too much to ever let go of you…and to me you are the best man that there is on this earth…you’re not a loser.or a failure..or stupid…..”

 

Ismail lifted my hand and kissed it with a tear falling from his eyes…

 

Doc was quiet and gave us our moments to say what needed to be said to eachother..he explained that that was what marriage counselling was about…talking to eachother and letting go of your feelings that were bottled up all along..just that there’s a 3rd person listening and there to intervene should there be any chaos..

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5 thoughts on “part 74:

  1. Sister A. says:

    جَزَاكَ اللهُ خَيْرًا Dear sister.
    So gud dat Ismail’s letin go of wat he’s been bottling up 4 so many yrs. A huge burden is been lifted frm him. It ωɪℓℓ definately leave him feeling better wen its over.

  2. Binte Ahmed says:

    Omw,do such parents even exist??? How can u carry ur child in ur stomach for 9 months,go through so much suffering for ur child,then treat him/her like trash??? Shame,poor ismail..at least hes goin for councellin now n lettin everythin out,hopefully itl make a huge dif to him..

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