part 52:

Me:”I want to know..if you really loved me so much….why did you divorce me before?I know its a long time ago..but it always works on my nerves and I just need closure…..”

 

Ismail:”the day after you left lovey….when my mum called from mozambique..I told her that we had abit of a fight and you’re gone back home…I should never have done that…she blew everything out of proportion and chotikhala told everyone at the wedding that I was divorced and looking for someone else to get married…their cousin insisted that her daughter was interested in getting married and since we were famly..she should be first preference..I didn’t know all this…until they got back…and insisted that I divorce you because they gave their cousin their word and how will it look if they change their mind now..I refused at first because even though we were separated and I was still abit pissed with you, I never considered divorce….again we had a major fight and chotikhala made my life a living hell….”

 

Me:”that’s why you hate her so much?”

 

Ismail:”yip…..and so they forced the decision on me and before I knew it my mum phoned dada to convey the news…”

 

Me:”so they were considering another marriage when you hadn’t even sorted your first one out?that is just sick…so what happened to the girl you supposed to marry.?”

 

Ismail:”I wasn’t always so faithful to you fay…I was quite unfaithful a few times…In the time we were not together I went back to my old playboy ways…I was chatting to another woman…but it was just that..nothing more…I didn’t like my mothers cousins daughter..after she sent me a pic of herself I wasn’t happy at all….so I just stopped chatting to her…there’s something else you need to know..”

 

Me:”babes..please..just stop..I don’t know if I can handle any more just yet….its just too much to take in….”

 

I swallowed really hard and tried to keep my tears in…I’ve been so faithful till now..I have NEVER looked or even spoken to any male in my entire marriage..I even cut my cousins out of my life..and here so much has been going on behind my back?

 

Me:”I feel like a real fool..all these years…I’ve only been giving and sacrificing and trying to please you and your family while you’ve all..including you..have been making a total mock of me behind my back…?!”

 

I was so hurt..it only keeps hurting because I love this man so much…

 

Me:”if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t feel all this pain….”

 

Ismail:(putting his hand on my cheek)…baby…please! YOu said yourself..its all in the past…I promise I’ve been really faithful to you for such a long time…I realised that no woman will ever come close to you…you are naturally beautiful…loving, caring, compassionate..generous…you have such a big heart..you’re simple and never ever demand anything from me..you are faithful and do everything with so much of perfection….”

 

Me:(cutting him off and taking his hand off my face)…”So how far have you gone with other women?”

 

Ismail:”it wasn’t many other women…it was my mothers cousins daughter who lives all the way in London..so it was just chatting…and she used to send me pics all the time….but like I said..it didn’t go further than that with her..and then…..umm…there was one other woman….she was a friend from before I got married….and…err..I sort of met up with her that same day that we had that fight..that’s why I was late home…but I promise babe..we didn’t do anything that day…we just spoke..like old friends…”

 

Me:”oh?so you didn’t do anything with her on THAT day so what did you do with her after that?(My blood was starting to boil)”

 

Ismail:(taking my hand into his and looking down…rather guilty)…I’m only telling you this because I want to start afresh…I’m not telling you all this because I want to hurt you love…”

 

Me:”did you not think that you would hurt me when you did all these pathetic things?tell me!how far did you go with her(clenching my teeth)…?and who the hell was this slut?”

 

Ismail:”her names farzana….we were old friends..I told you…I used to talk to her over the phone a few times…we used to chat..I just needed comfort after you were gone..I felt neglected..I needed love…”

 

Me:”wouldn’t it have made more sense to come to your wife for freaking comfort?instead of running off with some whore….ugh…I feel disgusted !”

 

Ismail:”we met a few times but once she started coming on to me, I just didn’t feel right fay…she was too forward..I couldn’t handle it…we kissed…once..but that was as far as it went..because she tried going a little further but I stopped it there and then….I didn’t want to..I still loved you…you were still my wife…I was still married to you…and when I gave you all those ultimatums…it was just a test..to see if you loved me enough to still come back to me…”

 

Me:”who the hell did you think you are?to test me?(Disgusted)”

 

Ismail:”I wouldve still taken you back..even if you didn’t agree to the conditions..”

 

Me:”and once again….fay the fool!(Looking away)”

 

Ismail:(touching my face and turning it gently to face him again)…”You not the fool baby…I am…I am the fool for messing with you for so many years…I am the fool for almost losing you…I am the fool for not being a better person…its me!not you okay…just look at yourself…who you are?how strong you are…!and look at me?what a useless piece of s*** I am…”

 

Me:”so why NOW ismail?why all of a sudden this great change?for who are you doing this?what’s your ulterior motives this time round…”

 

Ismail:”for you!for myself..for our kids….no ulterior motives….the last time I hit you…you were out….lying there helpless on the floor…I was stressed and worried that I’d murdered my own wife…I’d be locked up in jail for the rest of my life..I would burn in jahannam forever..I sat there next to you and I promised Allah that if he kept you safe and alive I would change..I’ll do everything I can to change for the better and I’ll get help..that’s why I’m doing this..I want to change….I love you..and I don’t want to ever lose you..you can see I’m trying so hard…so hard baby..please…”

 

And more tears were rolling down his cheeks..he was sincere..I could tell…but how was I supposed to deal with all of this…I don’t know if I can….what should I do?

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16 thoughts on “part 52:

  1. Faati says:

    Ahh this post was tooo sad …
    Inshallah hope fay can manage all wat he said.. *heartbroken*may Allah make it easy for all that’s going threw similar situations its so common these days …

  2. nafissa says:

    Feel so sorry 4 Faiza…hopefully Ismail really changes before it’s too late….
    Judging by Faizas character,i think she can withstand anything.
    Its alot to deal with,nw dat she’s pregnant again….
    It’s up to Ismail to prove himself….
    Action speaks louder than words!
    Hang on Faiza

  3. Binte Ahmed says:

    Faaiza,hang in there n stick to ur marriage now..u withstood all hardships for 7 yrs,stayed with him wen he treated u like rubbish,now u can stay with him wen he intends to change,n move forward with him..get help,n take it from there..

  4. zana says:

    He really did come clean with what he did and why.
    He asked allah for help and Inshaa-Allah, Allah make it easy for him To become a better person.
    It will take faaiza a while to come to terms witb all she was told but she is strong and Inshaa-Allah they both work at it together to make their marriage stronger

    • No matter how hard it may be to come clean about things we should always try to do what’s right…never do things behind our spouses backs….trust and communication is of utmost importance

  5. Sister A. says:

    Soo emotional! Really feel sorry 4 Fay. Glad Ismail opened up & came clean abt da past. He has made da intentn 2 change & also startd mkin d effort. Faaiza is a very strong person. She’s been through d worst already. She shud giv him a chance & also assist & support him °̩и changing. She shud consider d future of her children as well. It won’t b easy though living wid those memories. They must both seek professional help. The ball is now °̩и her court !

  6. J. says:

    Poor fay °̩ feel awful for her…These things do happen to real women around the world.Allah make it easy for every women going through this and worst,

    • Ameen….our problem lies in not following the teachings of the quraan and the sunnah of our beloved nabi(s.a.w)..if we just followed all of that..life would be so much simpler..but there’s always time to start afresh and do things differently..

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