part 50:


Here’s post 4 of 5 for today….:)..just one more to go….




My alarm rang for fajr and I quickly switched it off..I was so was so difficult to wake up…I decided to turn and have a quick snooze before waking up…but then I felt guilty..what if I didn’t wake up at all and missed my fajr….Allah would be so angry with me and then everything will go wrong for the rest of my day..its the least I can do for Allah is be punctual for my salaah..its for my own good in the end of the day…


I wasn’t sure if I should wake ismail up…I was scared to wake him up but I also felt responsible…he was starting to change and went for esha last night and I would be answerable to Allah if I didn’t make an effort to wake him up for fajr..


But also he’s just beginning to change..what if he’s not ready for fajr as yet…


I just put the thought to the side and decided to sort my own actions out first…I went to the bathroom, made wudhu and started contemplating again whether I should wake him up or not…


I walked a little closer to the bed and then stopped…I was scared..ismail hated being woken up from his sleep..what if he started hitting me again…?


Ok maybe he won’t….he’s changing…I walked to his side of the bed..sat down slowly next to him and kissed him gently on his cheek…


Ismail opened his eyes for a moment….and closed them again…then he put his arms around me and pulled me to lie down with him…


I felt so safe in his arms..I didn’t want to move away but I had to read salaah…


Me:(whispering)…”I love you”


Ismail smiled with his eyes closed..


Me:”(still whispering)its fajr time…I’m going to read salaah…you want to join me?”


He frowned…gave me a kiss and turned around to go back to sleep…


I too was tired from the whole nights thinking and crying…so I performed my salaah and jumped back into bed…and only woke up at 10 the next morning…


I turned to look for ismail….he was also stil in bed…but abit awake also….


He stretched tiredly….


I put my arm around him,kissed him and rested my head on his chest…


Me:”had a good sleep lovey?”


Ismail:(yawning)”slept like a king….with my queen holding me the whole night…(Smile)”


Me:”Its 10 o clock..I’m starving..I should get up and make us some breakfast…and I’m already starting to feel nauseous”


Ismail:”yip let’s get up…I don’t want you starving my little baby there…make sure you look after that little one…”


Me:”and we’ve got so much of unpacking and sorting out to do today..”


Ismail:”can we start tomorrow love?I need us to spend some time together..we can leave the kids with dada for the day…there’s a few things I need to talk to you about…”

53 thoughts on “part 50:

  1. Shabana says:

    This blog just gets more and more awesome! Jazakallah miss author.. With Faaiza reflecting on her past suffering, I’m becoming more attached and understanding of her character.
    It’s all seeming to perfect at the moment, I’m almost expecting a nasty curve ball. Please prove me wrong and hurry up with the next post..
    Lots of love 🙂

  2. zana says:

    Oh gosh now what does he want to tell her.
    I think for the rest of her life she always going to think if I do this or that will he hurt me. May allah give all these ladies who go thru life with a man like this strength

  3. sister/in/islam says:

    U have reached post 50 !!
    I award u with the honour of posting 5 posts – 2moro
    =))˚°◦hahahaha . _\\_‎​​

    جَزَاكَ اللهُ خَيْرًا 
 ┉┈┈┈♡♡ -̶̯͡┈̥⌣̊°˚
    For everything !! *hugs*

    • You know I have to tell you..I was busy teaching wen u posted ur comment..and I stopped to check who e-mailed…and I was laughing like a crazy thing…my students probably thought I was going

  4. Binte Ahmed says:

    Oh no! Wonder wat he has to tell as on edge as faaiza lol,worried that things will take a turn for the worse..prove me wrong n post quiccckkkkk 🙂 😉

  5. Sister A. says:

    Yipppeee!!!! Post 50. Gud1 sis °̩и Islam. Tnx 4 awardin our wunderful Author wid postin 5 tyms °̩и da moro 😉 ​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнa♒ђåª•ђåª•ђåª♒º°˚˚˚°º‎​=))
    =))•´¨)¸.•*¨)=)) ¸¸.•´=D(¸.•´(¸.• =))

  6. Faati says:

    wonder whats on his mind???
    hope its gud news and not bad news!

    Congrats on ur 50th post…
    Ur blog gets more interesting by the day…

  7. mumof3soldiers says:

    Masha – allah! A gripping blog!
    I hope hope hope ‘the talk’ is that Ismail is ready to open up about his childhood abuse to Fay………… n NOT nything nasty……..

  8. Sister A. says:

    إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ he’s not goin 2 giv her any bad news. Mayb he’s gona open up 2 her & tel her abt his past (childhood… ) So she understands y he is da way he is. Then dey can move 4ward 2gether wid understanding. Hpin 4 sumtin positiv.

  9. sister/in/islam says:

    To all my fellow sisters …..
. ┆Jumma Mubarak♥
. └┉┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡♈̷̴✽
    May U all hav a spiritually uplifting thursday nite and Friday – may all ur sins b forgiven n may u b granted best of this world and hereafta – آمين يا رب العالمين

    Luv u all for the pleasure of all !!!
    ♥̨ ♥̨ ♥̨
    Rmb me n my family in ur دعاء

    ‎​الَّهُـمّ صَــــــلٌ علَےَ مُحمَّــــــــدْ و علَےَ آل مُحمَّــــــــدْ كما صَــــــلٌيت علَےَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ و علَےَ آل إِبْرَاهِيمَ إِنَّك حَمِيدٌ مَجِي

  10. Faati says:

    Dis is so cute on ur 50th post u reached over 50 comments alhamdulilah…
    Hint mayb a reward for ur loyal readers *mayb an extra post*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s