part 48:

*note*

Dedicated to zana aswel as everyone else who requested an ismails POV post..here’s post 2 of 5 for today

*****************************************************************************

Ismails POV:

 

She’s been calling since the day she left, but I couldn’t speak to her..if I heard her voice I’d feel sorry for her and then I’d take her back….I didn’t want to…

 

The day she left at 2 in the morning I was angry…couldn’t she just give me some space?

 

I’ve always had my mother breathing down me for everything I did in my life…now that my mother was away for the wedding in mozambique, I thought I’ll atleast have a peaceful few days, but here I get home and this woman is taking my mothers place and nagging my brain about why I was late…

 

I just needed some time out..I chilled at the shop for a while and then decided to take a drive around town…some peace at last…being married is over rated…I don’t know if I was ready for all these responsibilities…and now that she was pregnant..how would I deal with being a father too?

 

I needed to think abit..and that’s when I met up with one of my old ‘friends’….farzanah was stunning in every way..one of those barbie dolls…we always had a good time together because of her forward nature…

 

We got talking for a while..even though she knew I was married, she was cool..I felt care free talking to her..I forgot about my worries and responsibilitles…

 

Faaiza kept on calling but I was enjoying myself with farzana so I put my phone on silent and carried on enjoying myself..it made me think of the good times I had before marriage..before I was tied down by all these damn responsibilities…

 

We even got something to eat together so when I got home I wasn’t really hungry and went straight upstairs…fay was pissed.but I don’t really care..after such a lekker day, I just wanted to crash…

 

I put my head down on the pillow and was gone within seconds….

 

All the abuse I’d gone through in my childhood had an effect on me bad ways…I used to have repeated nightmares..this wasn’t a problem before because I always slept alone in my own room..but now that I was married I found myself hurting faaiza many times while sleeping…

 

I sometimes would kick, hit or even punch her in my sleep..totally oblivious of what I was doing.I’d only know what I’d done when she told me..but I would never admit it..she couldn’t know what I was all about..faaiza has no idea that I was abused as a kid..she thinks my life was perfect…

 

That specific night I woke up with a shock when I heard the bathroom door banging…I hated being woken up from my sleep..it just makes me furious….I woke up only to find this B**** crying and moaning in the bathroom..claiming that I scratched her bleeding..the way she was carrying on just made me laugh…she was carrying on like I’m some kind of beast that was going to attack her…I was laughng until she started screaming at me…

 

I hated anyone screaming at me..she was my wife..I owned her…she had no damn right to scream at me..I went ballistic and made sure she got out of the house..I had no idea what the time was but I didn’t care…I would not accept her back chatting and screaming at me..I was her damn husband and deserved more respect than that…I just wanted her gone..I wanted her out…she left…I watched her leave…but she stopped at the gate because it was closed….I did her a favour by opening up for her so she could get the hell out of my sight…

 

Once she was gone I spent most of the night smoking my stress away…I thought about zana….she wouldve been a better wife, she could’ve satisfied me more…I need her right now….

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35 thoughts on “part 48:

  1. zana says:

    Lol
    May allah save me for disrupting someone else’s life. Maybe It’s the name and people feel easy to talk to us and off load😊
    This ismail parents really messed his life up badly. I hope he didn’t to something stupid with zana. I thought he loved faaiza so much he didn’t want any 1 to be around her

  2. After reading this post you just want to hate Ismail but on the other hand he was abused as a child and still belittled by his parents constantly as an adult. 99% of abused kids become the abuser as adults. If only he has opened up to Faaiza about his childhood. Sometimes we just hide to block out the bad, thinking it wouldn’t affect us but alas its Faaiza who has to pay the price for all this….so so sad. Jazakallah for this post.

    • Its true..if there’s anyone out there who is abusing because of being abused…you can change…man up….don’t be like ur abuser..be the better one and make a positive difference!

  3. Lol I have a friend also called “Zana” and she was definitely such an easy person to talk….We were strangers at the place where our kids go for swimming and somehow from all the mummies sitting there on the bench waiting for their kids swimming lesson to end, she was so easy to talk to…..Def has to do with the name.

  4. Faati says:

    Heartlesss damn guy…#angry#
    Omw, he was cheating on her…*shocked*
    Aggg he neeeds sum counselling yoh hw dare can he ever do dat, play around with other women, astagfirullah…
    Abuse fai and stil laugh at her…
    watch her leave and be happy * ouch*
    And den think of Zana #his mentally disturbed#

    Its so important to have a good upbringing..
    May allah make it easy for all those thats goin threw any difficulties….

  5. sister/in/islam says:

    Really nice to no wats goin on in his head – abuse does affect a person very badly – and den it has a domino effect ( if the person doesn’t admit it n get help)

    May اللَّهُ make it easy for all those who hav kids to bring them up in the correct islamic manner – with proper akhlaaq , respect and to use all the kids for the service of the deen with sincerity – آمين يا رب العالمين

    Its scary bringin up kids in 2days tyms – soo much fitna , evn if we try n protect dem, fitna’s r bein thrown @ us !! اللَّهُ save us all
    ‎​​​آمين

    • Ameen!it really is tough bringing up kids in todays times….the fitnahs are only getting worse day by day..I’m so strict on my kids and try to inculcate only islamic morals in them…but its not all that easy considering the fact that my kids will always be an outcast or looked down upon because they willingly always choose deen over dunya…but it doesn’t bother me..I want my childen to be noticed by nabi(s.a.w) on the day of qiyaamah and by the pious and chosen ones of Allah…

  6. sister/in/islam says:

    I’m very happy – @least I can make u laugh *wink*
    أَضْحَكَ اللَّهُ سِنَّكَ
    May اللَّهُ always keep u smiling !! ☺☺☺✓

    And ‘ bribing’ is such a harsh word !! I’m coaxing – ‎​ℓ☺ℓ
    Mayb I’m just requesting !!
    ƗƗɐƗƗɐ…ƗƗɐƗƗɐ…

  7. Sister A. says:

    ℓ☺ℓ Zana! Tnx 4 givin us Ismails POV.
    Havin been abused frm childhood right in2 adulhood has made him da person he is. Had he receivd help(councilling…) Earlier things wud hav been different nw. Unfortunately his innocent wyf is now payin da price. 😥

    • Hmmm…another sad reality…affairs have become the norm…men and women running around after marriage is so common..may Allah save us all and give us all hidayah..bring us all back onto the straight path…islaam is slipping from our hearts and lives right infront of our eyes..

  8. Sister A. says:

    True, it is a sad reality indeed dat affairs hav bcum d norm of da Đά̲ƴ. May ﷲ grant the entire Ummah Hidaayat & guide 1 & ӑℓℓ on da part of Siraatal Mustaqeem. ​آمِيْن.

  9. a95r says:

    If he wanted a make-up plastered ‘forward’ barbie doll type for a wife why didn’t he marry one?? Why marry faaiza and mess up her life?

  10. a95r says:

    If he wanted a make-up plastered ‘forward’ barbie doll type for a wife why didn’t he marry one?? Why marry faaiza and mess up her life?
    You did her a ‘favour’ by opening the gate?

  11. Binte Ahmed says:

    Omw! Poor faiza! Wat a coward,injurin ur wife in ur sleep then laughin at her wen u can see her bleedin..do such men even exist??? I hav no words to describe him *disgusted*

    • Yip they do…worse than ismail actually..the funny part is that ismail isn’t even on drugs and he behaves like this…other men are intoxicated and not that its justifiable but its more understandable than sumone who’s not

    • a95r says:

      I think its his way of looking at himself. When he was being abused it damaged his self-esteem, ego and sense of self-worth, so now by abusing his wife he’s (in his eyes) redeeming some of his self-esteem. And it probably appeals to his ego, that he’s not weak, he’s not abused, he’s stronger than her, she can’t do a thing.
      Weird way of looking at things, but sadly its reality for many.

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