part 32:

*NOTE*

Jumuah mubarak to all you wonderful people out there..may you all have an extremely spiritually uplifting day…rem to send as much durood as possible to our beloved nabi(s.a.w) and rem me and my family in your special duas….:))

 

I was feeling so upset…what in the world is wrong with ismail…..?!

 

Once we left dadis house we drove to the park to discuss what we’re going to do….

 

Me:”why not?this is the greatest opportunity…can’t you see that Allah is finally putting the pieces of our life back into place?”

 

Ismail:”fay I’m sorry! But as good as it sounds I don’t think its a very good idea….”

 

Me:”but why? Why do you think its not a good idea?”

 

Ismail:”what if…..agh forget it!you won’t understand!”

 

Me:”what baby?what won’t I understand?make me understand..!didn’t we say that we’re going to open up to eachother?talk to me!”

 

Ismail:”(swinging his door open and lighting a cigarette)what if oneday they throw it in my face?that I’m such a useless husband and father?that I can’t even support my family…that..that I accepted handouts and lived off YOUR inheritance…people are going to talk….”

 

Me:(taking his hand in mine)”babes…we don’t live for people..people are not there right now to help you are they?..when you’re stranded here…why should we care about people?..my grandparents will never throw anything in your face…in all the years that I’ve known them, they have never done that…they give and forget…and besides..its not a handout…its my right..its what’s mine….look!I’m not forcing you k…in the end whatever decision you make, I’ll stick by you and pray that Allah puts goodness in it for us….I’m going to read istikhaara namaaz tonight and tomorrow we can decide…for the time being read “allahumma khirli wakh tarli” all the time…”

 

Ismail:”what dua is that?”

 

Me:”its an istikhaara dua that can be recited anytime…its asking Allah to choose for us and to choose the best for us….I heard mufti saheb saying on the radio the other day that by reading this dua..whatever decision you make after that,Allah will put goodness in it”

 

Ismail:”what if I fail at the business?”

 

Me:”why do you always think so negatively?..why do you have so little hope in yourself lovey?you’re not a failure..you’ve never failed in anything in your life..look at you, at what an amazing man you are…you do your best in everything…I have faith in you….so have faith in yourself…”

 

Ismail pulled me to him and hugged me so tight….

 

Ismail:”I love you so much…do you know that?you’re evrything to me and I’m sorry…for….everything that I’ve put you through..I’m sorry baby…I’m going to make it upto you and give you everything…you’ve given me everything and been so patient all these years…I love you!”

 

Oh gosh….here I am feeling all emotional again…..this pregnancys really making me like a little baby…be strong fay..and no more crying…

 

Me:”I love you too….come on!stop being such a sulky…let’s join the kids over there and cool our minDs off for a while….”

 

Ismail kissed me on my cheek and smiled…

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17 thoughts on “part 32:

  1. Faati says:

    Awww i luv dis post…
    Its so gud to c both of dem happy alhamdulilah
    Fay is so mature,n understanding..
    May allah continue to shower his mercy n blessings n soften his heart towards fay…
    JUMUAH MUBARAK BELOVED AUTHOR

  2. Al says:

    Slm and JM! Absolutely loving ur blog. If anyone has the arabic text to that dua, pls post so we can be certain that we’re reading it correctly. Keep it up Ms Author!

  3. rooksana says:

    Jummah mubarak. Jzk 2 da author if it wasn’t 4 u I wouldn’t have learn so much abt sabr. Shukr. Etc. Allah grant u da best in both worlds. Ameen. Love dis post.faaiza is soo understanding n supportive. Ismail shud js listen 2 her. Post sooon

  4. zana says:

    Jumah mubarak to u and all the other sisters as well.
    Way to go Faaiza. Ismail needs all the confidence he can get. U r thr sweetest. May we all remember to ask allah for guidance when we intend to do anything in life

  5. Anon says:

    Loving ur blog, Faaiza is so mature n forgiving. Hope Ismail doesn’t turn down the offer bcoz of his childhood. Faaiza’s grandparents seem so genuine and lovely
    Keep up the lovely blog
    BTW what happened to ur blog Silent Living

    • Had to end it….I wrote silent living as a completely personal thing…nobody I knew was supposed to know who I was because it was all about myself..a true life story of everything I was going through and the lessons I’d learnt…I didn’t want anyone to know because they’d judge me…and someone did find out..so I deleted it..and the person found that as an opportunity to tarnish my reputation and took things totally out of proportion..it caused havoc in my life for a while but shukr Allah is great and knew that I had no evil intentions with silent living..and so he cleared that for me alhamdulillah…there was deffinately wisdom behind all that happened..:)

  6. Sister A. says:

    مُعَةُ مُبَارَك <3. 2 ӑℓℓ. Awww! Nyc 2 c dem so happy. Faaiza is gr8 pillar of strength 2 Ismail. May ﷲ increase their Muhabbat & mk dem 1 happy famly. ​آمِيْن

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