part 24:

 

I couldn’t help but smile to myself throughout my wudhu…I tried not to rush and perform my wudhu properly…I know ismail was exhausted but I was hoping that he hadn’t yet fallen asleep…he’s going to be elated when he finds out…I guess this is the beginning of a brand new journey in my life…

 

I came out of the bathroom and walked to ismails side of the bed..I wasn’t going to wake him but I just wanted to check if he wasn’t sleeping yet..he could probably sense me next to him and opened his eyes…

 

Ismail:”and?”

 

Me:”umm…I suppose it was positive(smiling from cape to cairo)

 

Ismail grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me towards him to give me a big hug….he squeezed me tighter than he has in ages…it felt so good to be treated like a human again…I just hope it never ends..I hope its not just a phase because he’s family is not there for him..

 

Me:”ok babes…lemme read my salaah so I can jump back in bed again…”

 

I gave him a quck kiss and went to perform my salaah..I was feeling so happy that I didn’t feel so tired anymore..instead I sat on the musallah and made dua to Allah…asking him for goodness and thanking him for all that he’s bestowed upon me..I prayed that Allah should grant me steadfastness to always remember him, whether in good times or bad..I prayed that Allah turn ismails heart from hard and cold to soft and affectionate..I prayed for hidayat for him aswel as myself..I prayed for my twins, that Allah keep them safe and on the right path and also prayed for my unborn tiny little fetus which was in me, that Allah protects it and makes it a great means of happiness, peace and contentment in my home…

 

I felt so refreshed and at peace once I’d completed my dua..like I had new spirits for a new day ahead…

 

Instead of jumping back in bed I took out my quraan and sat on the sofa in my room to read a yaaseen as Allah promises that if yaaseen is recited in the beginning of ones day,the tasks for the entire day will be fulfilled and whatever needs the reciter may have will deffinately be fulfilled…

 

I made an intention that this is how I’d like to spend the rest of my pregnancy…I would love to spend it making loads of dua as a pregnant womans duas are readily accepted By Allah…

 

I also want to read as much quraan during my pregnancy so that this unborn child could benefit tremendously…inshalah..

 

I know that this is what I want but sometimes its just so hard to keep to those resolutions…shaytaan is so evil and powerful that he really drives us in the opposite direction without us even realising It sometimes…

 

“Oh Allah, please keep me and my family away from the evil whispers of shaytaan”

 

I completed surah yaaseen,closed my quraan,held it close to my chest and started to think of what needs to be done today…

 

Thank goodness I’m freed after 7 years from my dreaded responsibilities in this house..

 

Mondays are usually roti days…I have to roll and fry tons of rotis for the entire week plus for rukaya also….my father in law only eats brown rotis so I’d have to make some brown aswel to freeze..

 

I wondered who would do all my duties now…agh, before I came along they managed quite fine..I’m sure they’d manage and even be happier that I was out of their way…..

 

I felt sorry for ismail…while my parents are not alive…his are…but they’ve disowned him for something so trivial…I don’t want to really get in their way or say anything nasty because it is his mother and family after all…today they’ll be worst enemies and tomorrow best friends and then I’ll be the bad one again…

 

So I rather just play it safe..be there for my husband but stay clear of any trouble at the same time..

 

I’m going to have to call dadi and dada and ask them if we can stay there…but what do I tell them?I suppose they’re not stupid and going to find out one way or the other…but we can’t possibly live there forever..we need to find our own place so we can start afresh and build a great relationship as a family.learn to fend for ourselves…yes I know things are deffinately going to be very tough in the beginning, but I’m faaiza and I’ve overcome so many different obstacles in my path…one more should just make me stronger than I already am….

 

I could hear some movement around the house snapping me out of my thoughts.., it couldn’t be my mother in law…they never wake up this early.wow..time really flies..its 6:30am and the maid is not allowed upstairs until everyone is awake….I wonder who it could be..