part 17:


I walked into the room reading durood sharif profusely…hoping that he doesn’t take it out on me..I walked silently into the room so he wouldn’t hear me from the balcony..


I went into the bathroom and breathed a sigh of relief..


I got done and it was time to face him..I hope his cigarette was finish cos he’s usually much calmer once he smokes..


Ismail was relaxing on the bed with his one hand behind his head and his eyes closed…


I gently sat next to him on the bed not knowing whether I should say something or remain silent..once he sensed me beside him, he opened his eyes and turned to me…I took his other hand in mine and squeezed hard not knowing what to say..


Ismail:”I’m sorry baby!”


Me:”for what?you don’t need to be sorry about anything”


Ismail:”I and the kids rely on me for shelter and daily I can’t even provide that for you anymore”


Me:”why didn’t you ever tell me that your salary was so little?”


Ismail:”because I never wanted to burden you with my financial stress”


I now sat on my legs facing him…I held both his hand in mine..


Me:”love!listen to me…the day I married you was the day we became one..that’s the day all your burdens, difficulties, pain, hurt and happiness and success all became don’t have to act brave and like nothing bothers you when really you have a lot bottled up…I know you not the type to speak out your feelings but its extremely important you know..”


Ismail:”I know..”


He’s silent for a while….


Ismail:”come on…go get ready and get the kids…I’m taking you somewhere..”


I couldn’t help but smiling from one ear to the other….we NEVER go out as a family..just us…the last time we went somewhere was more than a year see the new turkish masjid in midrand…and that also we had to tag the whole nation along with us….


So I didn’t even think twice or argue…I rushed downstairs to stop the kids from their art session before he changes his mind…


Me:”hey kiddos!what you guys upto?how did the….(Pause)uh oh!(Laugh)..what in the world?didn’t I give you guys canvases?”


Radiya:”jee mama..we used them..look!(Picking up her canvas to show me her picture)..but then it was full and we didn’t know where else to paint so we started painting on eachother..aren’t we vewy clever mama?”


I couldn’t help but laugh at their innocence…


Riyaad:”atleath we didn’t paint the houth mama”


Me:”ok great artists!daddy and I have a surprise for you so let’s clear up here and rush upstairs to get washed up k…”


Riyaad:”a thurprithe?pweeth tell uth!”


Me:”come on!hurry before daddy changes his mind(wink) upstairs and wash up and I’ll clear up here..when I get upstairs I want you guys to be washed up ok?”


Twins:”yes mama”


And they ran along upstairs…


Once I was done putting away the kids painting things, I went back upstairs to change the kids into clean clothes..


Me:”babes…where are we going?just so I know what to wear..”


Ismail:”its a surprise love..and what you have on is fine…are you ready?I just want to get out of this place..I’m taking the kids down and waiting for you in the car”


Luckily ismail had his own car…a little old black city golf which he bought long before he even met me…he looks after it really well so you’ll never say it was old…even if we were now jobless and homeless, we atleast had a car…we weren’t completely stranded..


I’m usually very I just had on my brown linen hipster pants,with a creamish gold strappy 3/4 dress,WITH a brown inner ofcourse and my creamish gold flat comfy sandal..I just put on some bangles to accessorize…what? I was happy okay?!lol…I then grabbed my wicker handbag cos I didn’t know where ismail was taking us..this would be best for outdoors or a mall…and I could never forget my hijaab…I pulled out one to match Perrrrfectly.I draped it and took a quick peek at myself in the mirror to make sure none of my hair was showing..


I wasn’t covered the way I was required to as a muslim. niqaab is one of my dreams inshalah, but atleast I was trying..don’t judge me…:)


I was simple but loved looking nice at the same time..for my husband ofcourse…I haven’t been for shopping for a while…we usually only go shopping for the 2 eids or IF there’s a function to go to…


Whatever clothes I do possess was all my trouseau

I brought when I got married that I mix and match to look different..atleast they lasted me for so long…


I got to the car and hopped in…ismail had the kids strapped up, something we both agreed on surprisingly…it just boiled my blood when kids jumped around in a moving car…and ismail was busy with the radio..he turned to look at me and smiled…


Wow!couldn’t chotikhala come into our lives 7 years ago?this man is suddenly very different…but I don’t want to get my hopes up too high….


Ismail drove out of town…I watched the road closely wondering where he could be taking us…it felt so real and amazing..


The kids were so happy they wouldn’t stop talking. I savored every moment of this..even if it wasn’t going to last..atleast I finally had a good memory to remember…


I looked at the clock..we’d been driving for almost an hour when ismail switched the car off and said…


“We’ve reached our destination….(Huge smile)…SURPRISE!”




12 thoughts on “part 17:

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