part 11:



My first mistake was taking his number, my second mistake was contacting him and my 3rd mistake was chatting to him over the phone till so late at night.


Some of the many more mistakes I’d made was telling him my whole life story…that made him feel sorry for me…


Another mistake was continuing this ‘relationship’ for 2 more years…we became so close..we spoke to eachother almost the whole day. He would visit at every now and then. Join us for supper and then we used to go out together ever so often…


Then oneday he said that he’s finally ready for marriage as he’s found the perfect wife. Someone soft, obedient, loving and patient…that someone was me….


However his mother disagreed..she refused blankly…she said that I didn’t come from a proper home, with parents and a proper upbringing so how could he marry someone like me ‘just off the streets’!


His mother and him had endless of fights for 2 months after he broke the news to her and she refused to accept me..


Finally she agreed because she couldn’t handle the fact that her son stopped talking to her. 


That was another mistake…I married someone who’s mother wasn’t even happy with me. 


When I sit down to think why my life is so miserable now…I regret the way I got was totally wrong..haraam in so many ways..I’d displeased my was I supposed to find peace and happiness and barakah in my marriage…


No haraam relationship ever ends happily…getting married without your parents duas also causes unhappiness..maybe that’s why ismails not happy in this marriage…he didn’t earn his mothers duas…


He often tells me that:


“If I had listened to my mother and married one of the girls she’d chosen for me…I would’ve been much happier…but I landed up with a nag like you!”


When we were ‘seeing’ eachother he was the sweetest,most romantic person I thought there could ever be…he would shower me with gifts almost once a week…


His words were so sweet I would melt everytime…he always had time for me…he would impress my grandparents so much that when the proposal came,they were over the moon for me…


Dada: “you couldn’t have gotten a better proposal than this one batchu. I don’t think you even need to make istikhaarah”


And that’s where I was wrong again….I didn’t make istikhaara..I didn’t ask Allah for guidance because I thought that I knew better…


I was ignorant..I thought that istikhaarah was if you doubted…and I didn’t doubt…I was MADLY in love and thrilled at every bit of affection I was getting…


Little did I know that istikhaarah actually meant ‘asking Allah for goodness’ in whatever you decide on embarking…I didn’t ask Allah for goodness…I had so much of trust in ismail that I’d lost all my trust in Allah…


Ever since mum passed away, I became so close to Allah…I felt a difference when I used to perform salaah, make thikr and supplicate…but once I was involved with ismail…I’d forgotten Allah..I’d forgotten my parents teachings..daddy was always against dating or even chatting to naa mahrams…and I’d always respected his teachings when he was alive..but once he was gone, I did exactly what he hated…


Mum and dad were so in love because they’d done everything the proper way..they fell in love after nikaah, not before…



Once ismail and I got married everything changed……

8 thoughts on “part 11:

  1. Binte Ahmed says:

    Slmz nice story,so sad that this sorta things happen in muslim homes..poor faaiza..hope everyfn works out well for her at the end..but its true,no good can come out of a haraam shud b after marriage,not b4…

    • 100%….look at the love nabi(s.a.w) had with his spouses..their relationships were the most romantic due to their fear for Allah and not looking around at haraam,they were able to love eachother completely n whole heartedly

  2. zana says:

    At the end of the day its taqdeer. And the only way to turn our lives is to make dua to allah. He used to be sweet to her she must make dua that he sees her the way he again. If u ask allah he will answer your duas only he can help

    • Deffinately and that goes for all women who feel there’s no way out of their misery…everyones hearts lay in Allahs hands.he is the controler of hearts and can change even the hardest hearts to compassion

  3. rosie says:

    slmz..nice blog..jus wanted to know jow do i read yr blog from part one until the last post because i tried starting from part one but den da posts are not cumin in order 1 after the other..plz help:-(..i woul really like to read the whole blog..its lookin very intresting..jzkl..

    • Slmz….

      Please try either clicking on archives and start at the beginning or scroll right to the bottom and go to older older older till you get to the first….

      Let me know if you don’t come right..will try some other methods then….


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